Today apparently was the day Clementine realized for the first time that everyone hates her father.
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Totally quotable Clementine
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And I liked this photo because it makes it look like I’m at the bottom of a well, which is how I feel at the moment…. Clementine’s a good kid. She’s goofy sometimes, but she’s emapthetic. And she’s perceptive. She came over to me, where I was sitting, put her hand on my elbow, and said that to me in a very kind voice. Its apparently the best thing she could come up with to cheer me up – the fact that the dog and cat probably aren’t also mad at me.
For the record, I’m not mad at you either. Nor are my cat or two dogs. And the last time I checked my roommate liked you too.
I can’t speak for the swamp monkeys, though I believe they may be a bit too busy with the coming invasion to be angry at you either.
I like you. My dog does too. But he also likes to eat his own poop, so there’s that.
Mark Maynard is the new Andrew Shirvell.
“Daddy, I think everything in the world hates you at a cellular level.”
Maybe people would like you more if you didn’t stuff your daughter into a sewer pipe.
I’m not mad at you, Mark.
I can’t remember a time since I’ve met you that I didn’t hate you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns…
…but that is different than being mad at you. There’s a distinction.
That’s so a shot from Murakami’s Wind Up Bird Chronicles. I can’t wait to see the mark on your face. What did I miss about people hating you? F’ing lighten up, folks.
If your pets are mad at you, try giving them snacks. That works wonders.