Eight parents that should be neutered and shot into the sun

I’m busy this evening, working on the script for tomorrow night’s episode of Dreamland Tonight, but I wanted to share this horrible video nightmare that was just sent to me by someone who obviously wanted to trigger one of my famous, life-shortening panic attacks.

Call me a prude, but I’ve got an issue with parents that dress their third-graders up like whores and push them out on a stage to simulate sex acts. Maybe I’m showing my age when I say this, but, back in the day, our child prostitutes at least showed a little class.

And, yeah, I get that it’s a free country, and that the girls are talented dancers, but can’t our culture do better? I’m not suggesting that we go all Taliban on these kids, and remove their heads in a soccer field. I don’t think they’re to blame. It’s the parents, in my opinion, that should be herded up and launched screaming into the sun.

Do you want to know my worst fear… It’s that something happens to me, like I go into a coma, and I can’t stop something like this from happening to my daughter… I can’t stand the thought of her, instead of working hard to realize her potential as a human being, choosing to focus on inconsequential bullshit, like how fast she can raise and lower her ass.

OK, with that, I need to get back to writing the show, which, I’m proud to say, Concentrate Media calls, “at least as good as Last Call with Carson Daly.”

And that, my friends, in case you were wondering, is what they call damning with faint praise…

Maybe if I added a few gyrating ten year olds.”

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26 Comments

  1. Ricker 76er
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    I couldn’t even watch the whole thing. It’s like school on Sunday. No class.

  2. Bob
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 9:58 pm | Permalink

    You wonder why the parents of these girls ever had kids in the first place. I just think of how low they are, and compare them to someone who was just pure class, Ernie Howell.

  3. DanIzzo
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 10:01 pm | Permalink

    Mindblowing. Without even showing my wife your post (I just showed her the video) and she said “someone needs to call child protective services”. I couldn’t agree more. This is just plain wrong.

  4. Chaely
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

    Ok, so this particular example is clearly way over-sexualized which I blame heavily on the costumes, but I danced for 18 years growing up and did routines not too much unlike this one. I really don’t feel messed up from it. It was competitive & physically demanding & I don’t think it was inconsequential any more than team sports are, which is a whole other conversation I suppose.

    Anyway, this video specifically makes me wince, but really it’s more the fault of some probably trampy 21 year old dance teacher than it is the parents.

  5. M. Svairini
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 3:23 am | Permalink

    And then there’s pole dancing for 10 year olds:
    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/05/02/pole-dancing-lessons-for-10-year-olds-115875-22227292/

  6. Knox
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 6:47 am | Permalink

    Having just watched that, I feel like I should turn myself in somewhere.

  7. Tarbell
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 6:49 am | Permalink

    I’ll bet you almost anything that these kids are from Florida.

  8. Peter Larson
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 6:58 am | Permalink

    I think the last comment sums it up.

  9. Peter Larson
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 7:06 am | Permalink

    I will say that, apart from the costumes, the dances themselves are pretty standard African inspired Hip-hop moves. They really aren’t much different from moves that you see people of all ages doing in countries like Malawi, although this is much more strictly choreographed.

    One has to wonder if people would have the same reaction if it were a bunch of African kids doing the same routines and if the shock is merely age old worries of sexualized black culture infiltrating the innocence of our pure white daughters.

  10. Edward
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 7:30 am | Permalink

    Thanks for making this about race, Pete.

    Why can’t we just have a good old conversation about kids being brought up a whores?

  11. Posted May 7, 2010 at 8:05 am | Permalink

    I have to kinda agree with Peter. I watched this with no sound, and old jazz playing in the background, and it didn’t seem that bad. I think the costumes are what make it kind of dirty.
    It looks like The Pussycat Dolls had a litter of kittens. Put them in some of those ugly 80’s leotard dance suits and it would be a little more tame…

  12. dirtgrain
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 9:22 am | Permalink

    Little Miss Sunshine was a documentary? It’s a crappy message they are sending.

  13. Kim
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    Chill out. It’s not like they’ve got on pasties and merkins.

  14. Trent Sprinton
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    We’ve discussed it here before, but they make heels for toddlers.

  15. Trent Sprinton
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 9:57 am | Permalink

    Here they are.

    http://www.heelarious.com/index.php

  16. Ricker 76er
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    Peter, your comment is misguided at best. I agree with Edward. Here’s some African dace minus the South Beach tramp wear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpCSvkW45kU&feature=related

    By the way, I have nothing against hip-hop inspired dancing, as long as it is done by high schoolers and up. Sexy moves and elementary (even middle schoolers for crying out loud) school don’t compute.

  17. Emma
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    This is a video of some kids trying really hard to get all of their dance moves right. If you think it’s sexy maybe you are the one with the problem…

  18. dirtgrain
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 1:19 pm | Permalink

    Somebody tried to make them sexy.

  19. Trent Sprinton
    Posted May 7, 2010 at 2:09 pm | Permalink

    I agree with Emma. It’s us who are the problem for seeing sexiness where it doesn’t exist.

    http://i2.asntown.net/5/child_beauty_pageant_9.jpg

    We should be ashamed.

  20. Knox
    Posted May 8, 2010 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    I agree on Florida. This is pure Florida.

  21. Laura
    Posted May 8, 2010 at 7:23 pm | Permalink

    Actually, it’s not *just* the parents we should shoot into the sun. It’s the dance instructor. You know, the person the parents sent their kids to every week that collected payment to teach this age-inappropriate routine to these girls?

  22. Posted May 9, 2010 at 9:41 am | Permalink

    5 children, 8 parents getting shot into the sun? How’s that work?
    “Okay, girls – whichever one of you dances best gets to save mom and dad!”

  23. Posted May 9, 2010 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    I was working under the assumption that one man fathered three of the girls.

  24. Ricker 76er
    Posted May 10, 2010 at 7:34 pm | Permalink

    Well Emma, you go right ahead and think that, and I’ll get right back to teaching my daughter to stay away from over-sexualized society and use her brain for good and her body to do something a bit more tasteful. By the way, I didn’t say it was sexy, the outfits and moves imply enough without me making that judgement. If you can’t see that, than you must be under 18, stupid or both, and you can’t fix stupid.

  25. Posted May 11, 2010 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

    This post just reminded me of an old post, about a child model named Lil Amber, who must be an adult by now… It would be interesting to see where her “career” took her.

  26. Jules
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 8:18 am | Permalink

    Geez, a week later and I’m still thinking about this. Mark, I think you need to rethink this. You’re basically slut-shaming a group of young girls for using their hips when they dance and for wearing the equivalent of 2 piece bathing suits with ruffles. I admit when I first watched it, it made me gasp but mostly because it’s so darn frenetic. Then I saw one of the girl’s parents this morning on Good Morning America and from the reaction of George Snuffleupagaus, you’d think this was child porn. It’s not. I agree with Emma. I’m not accusing you of being a pedo (you’re not) but people are projecting their shit onto these girls who were just dancing. I used to bellydance and I know there are young girls getting into bellydance. I can assure you that when they’re shimmying and doing articulations with their hips, they’re not trying to turn anyone on. They’re thinking about their technique and enjoying seeing what their bodies are capable of doing. They can’t help it if some people think hips moving is sexy. Watch these and tell me, would you condemn these parents too? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gggHppFvt7A&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6rhkOvOidI&feature=related

2 Trackbacks

  1. By Rock and Roll Meditation on May 8, 2010 at 10:40 am

    […] stark contrast to the over-sexualized children’s dance troop I presented to you in horror last night, I’d like to present Rock and Roll […]

  2. By Mr Florida on May 27, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Eight Parents that Need to Have My Shorts Dry Cleaned.

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