Ypsilanti’s prestigious Full Nelson University

Maybe it’s just that I loved Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler, but I’m intrigued by these flyers that have been floating around town as of late, advertising one-on-one professional wrestling classes for what could be either $5 or $5,000 per session. With my spine problems, sadly, it’s a profession that I’ll never have the opportunity to explore, but, if classes are only $5 a session, I think this might be my default birthday gift to friends under 40 from now on.

fullnelson

So, does anyone out there know this fellow, Bash Boulder? If you’ve taken a class at Full Nelson University, I’d love to hear about it.

And, speaking of Mickey Rourke, which story do you think is more believable – that he once had sex with 14 women in one day, or that terrible, yet attractive actress Megan Fox has only had sex with two men in her entire life?

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34 Comments

  1. Lacy
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 12:37 am | Permalink

    Speaking of fragile male egos, Mark Maynard … despite what your daddy may have told you hot women want, I’m inclined to trust Megan Fox on this one.

    Attractive actresses do have more than one option, you realize?

  2. dragon
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 12:53 am | Permalink

    Bash Boulder, or we like to call him, Professor Emeritus of Douchebaggery missed all but one of his classes last semester due to the ‘sleeper hold’ put on him by a student who goes by Mad Dog Murdock. All of his classes were taught by some TA named Firpo. We never even got to learn the proper use of chairs. It sucked.

  3. Mr.SwettyBallz
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 12:54 am | Permalink

    Bash Boulder’s lessons about Ring Psychology and Resume Building sound interesting.
    I already learned how to do suplexes from Nick Bockwinkel when he was in town.
    Lacy, hot women want attention, just like all of us. What’s-her-name is cute, but way too confusing and confused. And kind of skinny. Nice green eyes, though.

  4. Posted March 8, 2010 at 3:36 am | Permalink

    Maybe he can train you to be a manager! You could be the next Brother Love!

  5. Mr.SwettyBallz
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 6:37 am | Permalink

    Who me? Brother Love and I have some things in common, yes, but I picture myself more like Sir Oliver Humperdink.
    I could see Mark Maynard as the next Dirty Dick Slater if he wanted.

  6. Posted March 8, 2010 at 6:53 am | Permalink

    Good point, Lacy. And I’d be happy to consider retracting my statement, if not for two things. I’ve lived in LA. And I’ve seen Ms. Fox act.

    In all seriousness, though, I wouldn’t have made that comment about anybody else. So, I don’t think it’s a case of me being across the board sexist, feeling as though no women get to where they are due to merit.

    And, in Ms. Fox’s defense, it could just be her definition of “sex” that’s in question.

  7. Alice
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 9:21 am | Permalink

    I thought that Fox’s affair with director Michael Bay was pretty well known. He’s the one who gave her her first big break in Bad Boys II, and made her famous in the Transformers movies.

  8. Stephen Thompson
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 9:29 am | Permalink

    Is this the guy I see running through Riverside park covered in weights?

  9. Stanley Tredstone
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    No discussion of Megan Fox’s acting abilities can be complete without a link to this insightful Huffington Post article entitled “Megan Fox Wears Panties, Lifts Foot Above Head”.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/19/megan-fox-wears-leotard-l_n_364263.html

    Journalism as its finest.

  10. clear vision
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 10:28 am | Permalink

    Yes, it is the guy that runs through the park carrying weights. He is an ex pro wrestler who had a head injury in a bad match.
    he lives in Depot Town and his name is Jeff

  11. Lacy
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    Mark,

    Maybe it has to do with her definition of “men” (in contrast to overgrown boys). It’s painful to admit, but I’m not sure I’ve ever really been with a “man.” Maybe I should give that wrestler a call…

  12. kingpin
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 11:57 am | Permalink

    Call me crazy, but I think Megan Fox is gross. She looks like she would smell like a combination of axle grease & pee.

  13. Arvin
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

    My wrestling name would be The Tea Bagger. I’d have a mask made out of the American flag, and I’d “tea bag” my opponents.

  14. Kevin Paul
    Posted March 8, 2010 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

    I’ve always wanted to learn how to fire a staple gun into my head.

  15. Mr.SwettyBallz
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 2:56 am | Permalink

    Lacy, if you end up dating that wrestler, for God’s sake, watch out for the foreign object in his trunks.

  16. YpsiBitc#
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    I know Bash, He’s a good guy, alright in my book for sure.
    Mr.SwettyBallz you are an idiot, dragon you are just plain stupid, so stupid in fact, I feel very sorry for you.
    Bash has written 2 books, he’s the creator of AWE / WWX AMERICAN WARRIORS EXTREME, WUSAD (WRESTLERS UNITED AGAINST STEROIDS AND DRUGS), and he is an all around considerate person.
    Kevin, he may be willing to teach you how to fire a staple into your head but first I am sure you will have a few legal waivers to sign.
    He practices and teaches down @ riverside early Sunday afternoon.
    Here’s his Myspace link if you are interested in learning more —>
    http://www.myspace.com/ypsilantijeff

    XO- YpsiBitc#

  17. clear vision
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 1:11 pm | Permalink

    Bash is a good man. A damn good man.

  18. Stella 2
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 2:19 pm | Permalink

    And don’t even bother asking U-M if the credits transfer. They don’t.

    EMU accepts them though.

  19. genericreg
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 9:36 pm | Permalink

    “She looks like she would smell like a combination of axle grease & pee.”

    You realize you just described the qualities most longed-for in a woman by half the readership of this blog?

    (Don’t be offended, half the readership of this blog, that includes me.)

  20. Hot Knuckle Lover
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 10:44 pm | Permalink

    Lacy,

    Yes! If you want to grow beyond your admitted penchant for overgrown boys, a guy who likes to dress in tights and role play violence seems like just the ticket. I think you’ll finally find the “man” of your dreams.

  21. Lacy
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 10:47 pm | Permalink

    Point taken Hot K Lover … are you taken? If so, anybody know this Robert? He seems to have a thing for me. And I’m easily taken with anybody taken for me.

  22. Hot Knuckle Lover
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 10:54 pm | Permalink

    Lacy, yes, I’m knuckle bound. I don’t know this Robert, but his comments do seem a little too much like dressing up for pretend violence as well, don’t they? My cousin gets out of county in a month or two if you’re still in the market.

  23. Lacy
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 10:57 pm | Permalink

    And this seemed like such a good place to meet people.

  24. Mr.SwettyBallz
    Posted March 10, 2010 at 12:22 am | Permalink

    YpsiBitch, did you come here to MM.com just to be the canned heat heel?

  25. dragon
    Posted March 10, 2010 at 1:36 am | Permalink

    dragon you are just plain stupid

    Yet clever enough to figure out that a grown man playing in the park in his onesie would go by the handle YpsiBitch.

  26. Michael
    Posted March 10, 2010 at 7:49 am | Permalink

    Do you think The Tea Bagger’s trainer would towel off the tea bags between rounds?

  27. Edward
    Posted March 10, 2010 at 8:40 am | Permalink

    If this has become a dating forum, I’d like to throw my hat in the ring. I’m underemployed, but have my own apartment, and all my original teeth.

    And, by that, I mean all of my baby teeth. I never got the adult ones.

    I am 57 years old. Extremely pale. And deathly afraid of bacteria and satellites.

    I am looking for an incredibly hot 21 year old to hold and cry onto.

  28. Robert
    Posted March 10, 2010 at 10:50 am | Permalink

    Hot Knuckle Lover: “I don’t know this Robert, but his comments do seem a little too much like dressing up for pretend violence as well, don’t they?”

    I want you to know I avoid violence at any and all cost, and have been notably successful at it. As you can imagine, I’ve given many much cause to want to do me harm, and yet I’ve still managed to keep the peace. I’m irresistibly lovable in person, as many a hostile can attest.

    And Lacy, I do have a thing for you, and I am impressed that you detected it through all my dress up.

  29. Posted March 10, 2010 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

    Dear sir,

    I would love to chat with you abt. the fnu along w/ the biz in general. i also run wrestlers united against steroids & drugs a help hotline for my brothers & sisters in the biz. i also believe that there should be a wrestlers workers union. give me a call @ 734-961-7548. thanx, have a nice day.

  30. Posted March 13, 2010 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for leaving this note, Bash. And best of luck with Full Nelson University.

  31. Hilary Irvin
    Posted May 30, 2010 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

    If I had a penny for each time I came here.. Incredible writing!

  32. Ex ypsilanti boy
    Posted February 27, 2012 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    Bash is a piece of shit ! He can only beat on women and I’ll break his fucking neck as soon as he gets out of jail!

  33. Ex ypsilanti boy
    Posted February 27, 2012 at 9:39 pm | Permalink

    Bash = bitch
    This guy can only beat on a woman , I wish he would get out of jail so I could ram this piece of re-rod up his fucking ass !

    And for all his friends …. I’m looking for you too !

  34. Gayle Townsend
    Posted July 9, 2013 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    George “The Animal” Steele, Professional Wrestler visits Barnes & Noble 3235 Washtenaw Avenue, Ann Arbor, on Monday, July 15 at 7:00pm. Join us!

One Trackback

  1. By Dreamland Tonight, the next episode on April 13, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    […] take place at 8:00 the evening of Friday, May 7, will feature local professional wrestling coach Bash Boulder, the folks behind the Ann Arbor Skatepark, the one-man arts community of Ann Arbor known as Forest […]

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