Happy Valentine’s Day

I had what I thought was a pretty brilliant idea this morning, after it dawned on me that I didn’t have gifts for either Linette or Clementine. It occurred to me that if I shaved my beard, I could kill two birds with one stone. Linette would get the gift of my being beardless. And Clementine would get a “Beard in a Box” to play with.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t as well received as I thought that it would be… So, now I’m off to find flowers.

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  1. Fran
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

    I was so excited to hear what you did in the hopes that it would save my ass too. Alas, no beard and, well, as goes Clementine so goes my kid. Beard in a Box. Jesus.

  2. Posted February 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm | Permalink

    Clementine just had my mom on the phone, complaining that all she got for Valentine’s Day was her father’s beard. I’ve tried to convince her that one day she’d look back and be glad to have it, but she won’t listen… Anyway, I went out and bought flowers and all the fixings for a big meal. I think the women are happy with me now.

    Oh, and the weird thing is, the box with my beard in it now also has a pearl. It’s just sitting there, atop a mountain for whiskers. I’m tempted to think that my beard made it.

  3. Andy
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 7:44 pm | Permalink

    I would like to remind you that I have high hopes of a beard wall of fame at the elbow room

  4. Posted February 14, 2010 at 7:58 pm | Permalink

    You’ll have to buy it from my daughter, Andy. I think it would look great on the wall of the Elbow, though. Good luck in your negotiations.

  5. dragon
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    This put a strange Whim in his Head; which was, to get the hairy circle of her Merkin … This he dry’d well and comb’d out, and then return’d to the Cardinal, telling him, he had brought Saint Peter’s Beard.

  6. Posted February 14, 2010 at 10:17 pm | Permalink

    Ah, an obscure quote from 1714. Good work, Dragon.

    “…the hairy circle of her Merkin” sounds to me kind of like, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.”

    And, thanks to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I give you the gorilla mask.

    Don’t follow those last two links unless you’re an adult.

  7. Ed
    Posted February 15, 2010 at 11:05 am | Permalink

    But I thought that Linette was Mark’s beard.

  8. Kevin P
    Posted February 15, 2010 at 1:06 pm | Permalink

    As someone who owns a gorilla mask, I find this incredibly offensive.

  9. Oliva
    Posted February 15, 2010 at 7:02 pm | Permalink

    We’re wondering who left the red rose petals (not “real” petals) along the sidewalk on N. Adams near Olive . . . Valentine’s clues, leading where? One young neighbor hoped they’d lead us to chocolate soup, though we didn’t find any.

  10. Teddy
    Posted February 16, 2010 at 9:33 am | Permalink

    You were smart not to have followed the rose pedals, as they led to an old, rusty bear trap.

    I hate Valentine’s Day.

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