A girl in Ontario did the unthinkable a few days ago. She had herself permanently disfigured in order to curry favor with an online cult, and gain a 2% discount on all future purchases from their gift shop.
Speaking of severed unicorn heads, there must be something in the water these days. After a long period of relative quiet, the site’s getting traffic again. In fact, I have to make a painting for a guy in Nebraska tonight. He’s leaving the design up to me, but requests that the severed head have fangs, and be bleeding mercury. He also wants it to say, “I won’t be tamed.” It should be cool.
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It’s in no way related, and extremely NSFW, but here’s a funny ad for the upcoming Tea Party Nation convention.
http://i.imgur.com/snK9t.jpg
I can’t believe I just spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out what the hell you were talking about here…jesus.
I will never get that time back….never.
I wish my cult had a gift shop.
The Canadian people have a proud tradition of being the first to storm the beaches. This may be the sickest, most twisted expression of that courage…not to mention, the most pointless. Never the less, there it is.
I think this is an awesome tattoo. I was hoping someone would get one of those.
It looks like it’s covering a giant bruise.
As the Canadian who did the unthinkable, I thank you for your support in this endeavor. I will never abuse my power…ever.
PS. I bruise easily when i get tattooed. I am very sensitive.
FYI
my friend is getting one just the same sooner or later on her shin.
I shall send you the appropriate documentation as it comes.
Pardon me if this it too personal, Shannon, but are you a stripper? I’ve been told that all Canadian girls are. I suspect it’s a regional folk tale though, as we’re also taught that Canadian girls don’t bruise easily.
It’s only a matter of time before the severed unicorn head tattoo is as common as the belly button sunburst and barbed wire bicep. The sad thing is that in a couple years when the severed unicorn head tattoo is as popular as a Tinker Bell tramp stamp, nobody will believe her when she says she was the first one, or even that she got hers when it was still cool. Ah well. At least she has the moment!
Tomorrow at 10:00 AM, based on the thoughtful dialogue here at The Blog, Big John will be announcing a new piece of legislation called “Maynard’s Law” which will mandate, henceforth, that all cults will operate fully accessible gift shops offering, among other things, sleepwear, baseball caps, stationary and affordable jewelery. If you could all send letters to your members of Congress, asking them to support HR 26-09724m, it would be greatly appreciate. Health Care may be dead, but, together, we can make this happen.
Regards,
Kevin Churnit
John Dingell’s Chief of Staff
My dear Ted, I think you Americans are sorely mistaken about us folks up North. We are quietly proud people who drink a lot of beer, play hockey & bruise quite easily, I’m afraid.
It is too cold to take our clothes off in igloos. Alas, I am not a stripper.