Severed heads across the border

17552_460946230121_712105121_11079479_8374023_nA girl in Ontario did the unthinkable a few days ago. She had herself permanently disfigured in order to curry favor with an online cult, and gain a 2% discount on all future purchases from their gift shop.

Speaking of severed unicorn heads, there must be something in the water these days. After a long period of relative quiet, the site’s getting traffic again. In fact, I have to make a painting for a guy in Nebraska tonight. He’s leaving the design up to me, but requests that the severed head have fangs, and be bleeding mercury. He also wants it to say, “I won’t be tamed.” It should be cool.

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  1. Alvin
    Posted January 31, 2010 at 10:11 am | Permalink

    It’s in no way related, and extremely NSFW, but here’s a funny ad for the upcoming Tea Party Nation convention.

  2. Posted January 31, 2010 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

    I can’t believe I just spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out what the hell you were talking about here…jesus.

  3. Posted January 31, 2010 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

    I will never get that time back….never.

  4. Terri
    Posted February 1, 2010 at 9:22 am | Permalink

    I wish my cult had a gift shop.

  5. Robert
    Posted February 1, 2010 at 10:29 am | Permalink

    The Canadian people have a proud tradition of being the first to storm the beaches. This may be the sickest, most twisted expression of that courage…not to mention, the most pointless. Never the less, there it is.

  6. Ryan
    Posted February 1, 2010 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    I think this is an awesome tattoo. I was hoping someone would get one of those.

  7. A2C2
    Posted February 4, 2010 at 11:29 am | Permalink

    It looks like it’s covering a giant bruise.

  8. shannon
    Posted February 8, 2010 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    As the Canadian who did the unthinkable, I thank you for your support in this endeavor. I will never abuse my power…ever.

    PS. I bruise easily when i get tattooed. I am very sensitive.

  9. shannon
    Posted February 8, 2010 at 9:50 pm | Permalink

    my friend is getting one just the same sooner or later on her shin.
    I shall send you the appropriate documentation as it comes.

  10. Ted
    Posted February 9, 2010 at 9:08 am | Permalink

    Pardon me if this it too personal, Shannon, but are you a stripper? I’ve been told that all Canadian girls are. I suspect it’s a regional folk tale though, as we’re also taught that Canadian girls don’t bruise easily.

  11. Gloria Fleeton
    Posted February 9, 2010 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    It’s only a matter of time before the severed unicorn head tattoo is as common as the belly button sunburst and barbed wire bicep. The sad thing is that in a couple years when the severed unicorn head tattoo is as popular as a Tinker Bell tramp stamp, nobody will believe her when she says she was the first one, or even that she got hers when it was still cool. Ah well. At least she has the moment!

  12. John Dingell's CoS
    Posted February 9, 2010 at 2:17 pm | Permalink

    Tomorrow at 10:00 AM, based on the thoughtful dialogue here at The Blog, Big John will be announcing a new piece of legislation called “Maynard’s Law” which will mandate, henceforth, that all cults will operate fully accessible gift shops offering, among other things, sleepwear, baseball caps, stationary and affordable jewelery. If you could all send letters to your members of Congress, asking them to support HR 26-09724m, it would be greatly appreciate. Health Care may be dead, but, together, we can make this happen.

    Kevin Churnit
    John Dingell’s Chief of Staff

  13. shannon
    Posted February 10, 2010 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    My dear Ted, I think you Americans are sorely mistaken about us folks up North. We are quietly proud people who drink a lot of beer, play hockey & bruise quite easily, I’m afraid.
    It is too cold to take our clothes off in igloos. Alas, I am not a stripper.

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