I’d taken today off from work, in hopes of making stuff for tomorrow’s Shadow Art Fair. As luck would have it, though, I woke up this morning to find raw sewage floating in the basement. So, my day thus far has been spent cleaning up watery poop, gagging, and dealing with plumbers.
There is some good news to report, though. I’m told that, in addition to those remote control gorillas I told you about yesterday, we’ll also have giant mushrooms at the Shadow on Saturday.
Oh, and if you haven’t already seen them, there are good stories at both the Ypsi Citizen and Ann Arbor dotcom about tomorrow’s Shadow.
So, now comes the hard part. I need to convince my family to either poop in a bucket or make friends the college kids next door and use their toilet until I get this thing figured out. I don’t think they’ll go for it, though. As much as they love me, I think they’d rather just poop like they always do, and have me go down into the basement afterward to scrape it off the floor… Sorry to be so graphic, but it is what it is. And don’t tease me tomorrow if I 1) stink of bleach, and 2) don’t have anything new to sell.
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You could also go out and buy an old person port-a-potty. Just giving you another option!
I don’t believe this story. You’re just trying to keep people away from you tomorrow.
Ask Kircher what to do with Raw Sewage?
Watching Laughing.
Will your puppet be pooing in a bucket too?
I had a friend who lived nextdoor to a property owned by infamous local slumlord David Kircher, and he swears that the family would squat and shit int he backyard. They apparently didn’t have running water.
If you haven’t already, make sure you call YCUA. If it turns out that anything’s coming back up from the street (rather than just a clog keeping anything from leaving your house), or if it’s a clog caused by tree roots on the street side of the sidewalk, they may reimburse you for the plumber’s bill.
Yup. I called YCUA this morning and they were great. They came out and checked the water main and determined the problem was on our side of the sidewalk. So Michigan Power Rodding is here right now. I’m hoping that takes care of it. I don’t want to have to pay to put in a whole new line.
The mushroom on the left looks like……
Mine looks much more like the one of the right. What kinds of magazines are you reading, anyway?
If you get tired of your hipster gorillas and mushrooms, we’re going to have Kat the midget stripper at the Vu tomorrow night.
If I bring it over from the Dreamland, would she dance with the Mark Puppet? I’d give anything to see that.
The writing and subject matter of this blog has really gone to shit…
Don’t ever use extra strength charmin or other super-thick brands. They do not dissolve like regular toilet paper. They will build up like rags down below. I know someone that spent tens of thousands replacing the line after using that stuff.
And hopefully you don’t have a silver maple or honey locust in front. They are very aggresive rooters.
Michigan Power Rodding Rocks though. Honest. If they can’t get it no one can.
You can come over and poop at my house anytime.