I was dubious at first, but it looks as though actress/model Elizabeth Hurley really is getting into the beef jerky business. According to her website, some of the “air dried” flesh will even come from, “Elizabeth’s own herd of rare breed Gloucester cattle.”
I haven’t seen a television ad yet, but I’m imagining, if such ads do exist, they have to feature Hurley, oiled up, sunbathing amid giant racks of raw cow flesh. Sprinkle in a healthy dose of double entendre, and maybe a geeky young man looking over her hedge, and saying the catch-phrase, “I’d jerk it,” and I think you’ve got a winner.
OK, that’s it for now. It’s almost dinner time, and I’ve yet to defrost my Cheryl Tiegs Gizzard Chunks.
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Sad day for me. One of my very few celebrity crushes left. Drying up and blowing away like dust in the wind.
As a cannibal, you really had my hopes up for a moment there.
“I’d jerk it,” is the best catchphrase since, “They pelted us with rocks and garbage“.
That’s some weird lookin jerky.
I think the packaging would be even sexier if the little Elizabeth Hurley cartoon character was hanging from a meat hook in a processing plant, all seductively and what not.
Surely someone out there knows Photoshop well enough to make Robert’s dreams come true.
Or am I going to have to contact the Make A Wish foundation?