The “Tell it to Sara Jessica Parker’s severed HEAD!!!!” open thread


I wanted to blog tonight, but I’m having too much fun listening to my friends Vanessa and Michael guest DJing on the University of Georgia’s student radio station, WUOG, so I’m just going to make this an open thread. So, if you have something to say, here’s your chance. Say it to Sara Jessica Parker’s severed head. (And, if you don’t have a copy of Vanessa and Michael’s newly re-issued record, Chomp, do yourself a favor and order one now.) And don’t worry about Sarah Jessica Parker. She’s fine. This, I’m told, isn’t her real head. A Crimewave reader just sent it from New York, where they’re having a big Tim Burton retrospective. I’ve never seen the film, but apparently Sarah Jessica Parker’s head gets lobbed off at some point during Burton’s movie, Mars Attacks. But, yeah, tell her your troubles, dreams, sexual fantasies… anything. You can even ask her questions about the future!

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  1. Posted November 17, 2009 at 10:52 pm | Permalink

    That whole bee thing went well at City Council tonight, I hear.

  2. Posted November 18, 2009 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Congratulations, Jake. Apparently, you’re the only one not intimidated by the severed head of Sarah Jessica Parker.

    And I’m happy to hear that bee team did good. Thanks for the update.

  3. Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:01 am | Permalink

    Mars Attacks is an excellent movie. Go rent it right now.

    The love scene between Pierce Brosnan’s severed head and Sarah Jessica Parker’s head grafted onto a chihuahua is one of the greatest movie moments I’ve seen.

  4. Larry Seven Larry
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:23 am | Permalink

    Ms. Parker’s Head, I would like to know if I’m destined for something greater in life.

  5. Kim
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:25 am | Permalink

    I was hoping that you’d post something about the armed robbery that took place in the Peninsular Place apartments yesterday. There are way too many guns in Ypsi these days.

  6. Stephen
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:30 am | Permalink

    I’ve been thinking too much about that Detroit father who killed his son execution style. I can’t imagine doing that to my own child.

  7. Fredia
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:32 am | Permalink

    No offense to SJP’s severed head, but it reminds me of this fish. They have the same expression.

  8. SJP's Severed Head
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:38 am | Permalink

    Sorry, Larry, I’m not seeing it. From what I can tell, you reached your maximum potential at 12.

  9. Brackinald Achery
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:40 am | Permalink

    What ever happened to dude? And Schutzman or whatever his name was?

  10. Posted November 18, 2009 at 9:51 am | Permalink

    No, “intimidated” is not the word I’d use to describe my feelings for Sarah Jessica Parker’s severed head.

  11. Larry Seven Larry
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    Thanks, SJPSH, that’s kind of what I thought.

  12. Mr. X
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 10:23 am | Permalink

    Schutzman moved away, to be nearer to his wife’s place of employment. He still pops up here occasionally thought. As for the Dude, I’m not so sure.

  13. Anonymous Ed
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 10:26 am | Permalink

    I guess it’s kind of a confession. I covet my neighbor’s wife. At least I think I do. Unless I don’t understand the meaning of the word covet.

  14. Ted
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 2:44 pm | Permalink

    If “intimidated” isn’t the work, BJ, what is?

    Is it “aroused”?

  15. Ewww
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 2:48 pm | Permalink

    Ewwww, Fredia… You just made me consider wrapping SJP’s head in a damp cloth, deep frying her body, and eating her crispy flesh while she gasped for breath. How can I ever get that image out of my head?

  16. Steve R
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 2:53 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t have a sexual fantasy to confess until I saw the head. Now I think I might have a really fucked up fetish to deal with. Thanks.

  17. Posted November 18, 2009 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

    Ted: see here.

    Now I can’t read this blog without having an accident.

  18. Ewww
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 4:29 pm | Permalink

    Now I can’t look at the picture without imaging a stream of urine being directed into its sex-doll-mouth.

  19. Curt Waugh
    Posted November 18, 2009 at 5:29 pm | Permalink

    Hey Ewww, ewww…..

  20. Posted November 18, 2009 at 6:46 pm | Permalink

    I wonder if Sara Jessica Parker has any idea that somewhere in the Rustbelt, right now, people are talking about using her severed head as a urinal and eating her crispy skin with chopsticks.

    This website really should be destroyed.

  21. Posted November 18, 2009 at 7:13 pm | Permalink

    I love to eat with chopsticks and I agree, you should destroy this website but then what would I do while my kids watch a boring kid show on tv? Talk to them? Entertain them? I have the flu. I’m too tired.

    I am happy about the bee thing going well!

    Mars Attacks is a pretty funny movie in a twisted way.

  22. Posted November 19, 2009 at 2:41 pm | Permalink

    I have more facebook fans than your blog now, Mark.

    I imagine it’ll be my head in the bottom of your urinals now.

    Hate on.

  23. CRT
    Posted November 19, 2009 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

    This would make a trough urinal almost bearable.

  24. Louis Feldes
    Posted November 19, 2009 at 10:57 pm | Permalink

    Are we really going to be able to buy pot legally in Depot Town or is City Council just yanking my chain?

  25. Me
    Posted November 20, 2009 at 6:36 am | Permalink

    That head looks more like Phyllis Diller’s head. I am not telling it any of my secret fantasies.

  26. YpsiPawz
    Posted November 20, 2009 at 5:32 pm | Permalink

    Just curious….

    Is Steve Pierce legally allowed to ride his Segway down the middle of the street as if it was a car?

    I wonder if the city included Segway access in their new Non-Motorized Transportation Plan?

  27. Posted November 22, 2009 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

    Dear Sarah Jessica Parker’s Severed Head,

    Sometimes, when I am around a group of people I don’t know very well, I get really agitated and sensitive. I think that they don’t want me to be there. Or that I will talk too much. So I don’t talk at all. Or I talk too much. Or I just leave and go in another room by myself and play with my phone, and then wonder later if anyone noticed. What do I do?

    Abashedly Awkward in Ann Arbor

  28. SJP's Severed Head
    Posted November 23, 2009 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    Stop leaving your home.

  29. Posted November 23, 2009 at 10:12 am | Permalink

    Louis Feldes: I’m pretty sure it’s just growing supplies.

  30. Brackinald Achery
    Posted November 24, 2009 at 4:54 pm | Permalink

    I don’t know if this belongs here, in the original thread, or in Robert’s conspiracy corner:

    Basically, the hanged US census worker had committed suicide and staged it to look like a murder for the pay off to his family.

    Glenn Beck is exonerated.

  31. STP
    Posted November 25, 2009 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    I think there was a thread on that, BA.

    Good find.

  32. Andy Ypsilanti
    Posted November 25, 2009 at 2:30 pm | Permalink

    Thanksgiving Eve Psych Fest tonight at Elbow Room and it’s free! See Blue Snagletooth and the former Sick Sick Nation 10PM. Ypsi. Don’t Miss Out!

  33. Brackinald Achery
    Posted November 27, 2009 at 1:30 am | Permalink


    ….how ’bout that whole climategate thing?

  34. Brackinald Achery
    Posted November 30, 2009 at 10:43 pm | Permalink


    …that whooooooooooooooooole climategate thing.

  35. EOS
    Posted November 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm | Permalink

    “Our hopelessly compromised scientific establishment cannot be allowed to get away with the Climategate whitewash”

    (Yes it is a blatant plagiarism of Christopher Booker)

  36. Brackinald Achery
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 12:00 am | Permalink

    I’d like to hear dude’s take on it. He seemed to be unseasonably reasonable regarding the whole climate change thing.

  37. Kim
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 8:32 am | Permalink

    Glaciers ARE melting.

  38. Brackinald Achery
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 8:41 am | Permalink

    Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t, but one thing is a fact: very influential climate scientists advised each other to delete original data rather than submit to freedom of information act requests (which data they did delete), and they colluded to keep dissenting opinions out of peer reviewed journals.

    The opposite of a skeptic is a sucker.

  39. Brackinald Achery
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 8:44 am | Permalink

    … kinda calls into question their work, and anything based on their work, at the very least.

  40. Posted December 1, 2009 at 9:21 am | Permalink

    Science is like any other vocation. There are people that are good at it, and people who aren’t. I cannot speak for the work of these particular individuals, having never read anything they have ever published, but I can say that email banter between scientists is like any other set of exchanges, full of heated opinions, flustered statements and not very realistic nor wise statements. One has only to read this blog to see that otherwise intelligent and educated people can say a large amount of stupid shit. These were not peer reviewed publications, these were emails exchanged between individuals.

    If there was any manipulation of data, it will come out, eventually. Time will tell as to whether there is a true scandal here but it has to be said that 99.9% of all data related to climate is publicly available. Skeptics and non-Skeptics are free to download it and perform their own analyses. This is far different than other cases of data fraud where the data is unavailable or does not exist. You are free to obtain the data from these scientists and attempt to recreate the results in their papers, as I’m sure many people are doing as we speak.

    In my own direct experience with weather and climate data, I believe that there is sufficient evidence to suspect that human activities are somehow correlated with climate change worldwide. I cannot make statements as to the extent of that relationship, but I can say that belching tons of shit into the air can’t be a good thing and the search for clean and sustainable sources of energy is a good thing, both for the environment and for our economic future.

  41. kjc
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    “but one thing is a fact: very influential climate scientists advised each other to delete original data rather than submit to freedom of information act requests (which data they did delete), and they colluded to keep dissenting opinions out of peer reviewed journals.”

    the Diane Rehm show was devoted to this topic yesterday. some on the panel disputed this characterization (skepticism?). the timing is certainly interesting.

  42. Posted December 1, 2009 at 11:30 am | Permalink

    I don’t have enough information to conclude that these emails to represent a scandal, especially since they were illegally hacked, edited and disseminated on the internet by an unknown group of individuals. This portion of the equation has been unfortunately forgotten.

    In addition, I have not read a single paper published by these scientists nor am I an expert on climate science. I would also point out that these scientists are certainly not the only scientists who explore climate change and I think that before concluding that these hacked emails represent a smoking gun, we should first examine the body of work that exists on climate science and parse out whether these individuals are truly unscrupulous or if they represent climate science as a whole, or if these emails are like any other exchange between colleagues in any other context, full of inaccuracies, back biting and childish jabs.

    This is like assuming that since Bush lied about WMD in Iraq, we would have to assume that all politicians were engaged in an extensive conspiracy to create 9/11. There were no commercial planes on 9/11.

  43. Brackinald Achery
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm | Permalink

    If much of other research has been partially based on the work of these scientists, and much skeptics’ work has been discredited by their having been shut out of the peer review process by these scientists, your analogy is malapropos.

  44. Posted December 1, 2009 at 3:18 pm | Permalink

    Well, you assume that the role of science is to pander to skeptics, which it is not. That would be like assuming that creationists should have a word in every paper on evolutionary biology, which they do not and should not. Science’s job is to report reproducible results based on data in a transparent fashion and draw inferences as to the plausibility of those results.

    Like I said, I know very little about the work of these gentlemen. In fact, I had not even heard of East Anglia until this came about.

  45. Ed
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    East Anglia isn’t even in the United States.

  46. Andy Ypsilanti
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 6:11 pm | Permalink

    Ed, your comment on that other thread was well placed and well timed. Move’n Out does seem to be’s official troll, though. I wish all I had to do all day was surf the net looking for people to get into pisssing matches with…

  47. Brackinald Achery
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 6:35 pm | Permalink

    What you assume of me is untrue, dude. I agree with your statement:

    Science’s job is to report reproducible results based on data in a transparent fashion and draw inferences as to the plausibility of those results.

  48. Posted December 1, 2009 at 9:22 pm | Permalink

    Thank you for taking the time to respond, Dude. I think I agree with you.

  49. Brackinald Achery
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    Have you guys read much about this case? Like the emails in question? Or who these guys are?

  50. Peter Larson
    Posted December 1, 2009 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    I just read one of the papers the guy wrote and just looked over his list of pubs. Mostly, it’s pretty regular science, but he’s got more than a few opinion pieces where he makes really strong causal statements, which, as a scientist, I find irritating.

    The bits and pieces of emails that I’ve read are pretty typical science talk among colleagues. However, given the strength of his opinion pieces, they do give me at least slight pause. It needs to be investigated at least to clear his name if, in fact, there is no wrongdoing and to clear the name of science in the public eye. Sadly, the public will hear nor listen to anything if there is no real scandal, though.

    I don’t think there’s much of a scandal here in terms of his published work but time and investigations will tell. Regardless, even as a scientist, I think that the strong emphasis and passion demonstrated by climate change proponents is a little disturbing. I do not doubt that man has influence climate change worldwide nor do I intend to discredit the great damage that will likely be felt by the world’s poorest and most ignored but I really think that too much emphasis has been put on this as a scientific issue when there are seriously other (much easier) fish to fry to insure the health and safety of humanity and the world.

  51. Meta
    Posted December 2, 2009 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    A few inconvenient facts on Climate Gate:

  52. Brackinald Achery
    Posted December 2, 2009 at 3:29 pm | Permalink

    That’s a pretty thin coat of whitewash at the ol’ huffpo. Anyone who is interested can read the emails themselves, and otherwise follow along as the story develops via a quick google news search, since the story isn’t yet getting a whole lot of MSM press here in the US for some odd reason.

  53. We Kiddy
    Posted December 21, 2010 at 3:46 am | Permalink

    I find it interesting that you’ve used images of SJP’s severed head twice now to initiate conversations on this web site. It doesn’t take a Psych major to see that there’s something weird going on inside your brains.

  54. LIMer
    Posted April 15, 2011 at 6:41 am | Permalink

    The conservatives in England slashed spending as well, and their economy is tanking as a result.

    But in Britain, one year into its own controversial austerity program to plug a gaping fiscal hole, the future is now. And for the moment, the early returns are less than promising.

    Retail sales plunged 3.5 percent in March, the sharpest monthly downturn in Britain in 15 years. And a new report by the Center for Economic and Business Research, an independent research group based here, forecasts that real household income will fall by 2 percent this year. That would make Britain’s income squeeze the worst for two consecutive years since the 1930s.

    Read more:

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