I had been concerned that the upcoming anniversary of Martin Luther King’s brilliant, uplifting “I have a dream” speech might go by unmarked in any significant way, given that we’re fighting multiple wars in the Middle East, and trying to sort out healthcare and the economy here at home, but it looks like someone is stepping up to make sure that King’s legacy is honored.
And that someone is Glenn Beck.
That’s right – Glenn Beck, the media whirlwind known for, among other things, bravely accusing Barack Obama of being a racist, announced, before a crowd of 25,000 angry white people in Florida this weekend, that, on the anniversary of King’s historic speech, he would be addressing the American people from the Lincoln Monument in Washington, DC. Here’s a clip from Beck’s announcement:
Here’s how it’s going to work: I’ve done a lot of reading on history in the last few years. And I was amazed to find that what we’re experiencing now is really a ticking time bomb that they designed about a hundred years ago, at the beginning of the Progressive Movement. And they thought, if we just do this, and this, and this and this, over time, if we do it in both the Republican and Democratic parties, we will have our socialist utopia. Well, I say again, two can play at that game. I am drafting plans now to bring us back to an America that our founders would understand … We need to start thinking like the Chinese. I am developing a 100-year plan for America. We will plant this idea and it will sprout roots.
So, we have that to look forward to next summer… Glenn Beck standing before an ocean of angry white faces, talking about taking America back from the affirmative-action-loving, America-hating, book-reading progressives. It took 47 years, but someone’s finally going to attempt to cosmically cancel out the defining moment of the American civil rights movement. Isn’t it exciting? The long-suffering white Americans are about to get the break they’ve been waiting for.
And, here, for those who are interested, is video of Beck making his historic announcement.
12 Comments
“We need to start thinking like the Chinese.”
Damn.
I thought we were supposed to be thinking like Americans. I was still working on that one and he goes and pulls this on me?
Help me. Does Chinese normally take a S-V-O form like English?
I think he means that we need to start reading from right to left.
In response, I’ve established a command center where I am now drafting plans to do this, that and the other.
He’s our white MLK!
I’ve been struggling for the last year, trying to think of a way to explain Beck to my friends, and now I’ve finally found it.
He’s going to lead us to the promised land!
We do need an America our founders can understand:
1) Everyone is in the militia and there is no standing army. That makes that whole second amendment thing make sense again.
2) Back to slavery.
3) Women can’t vote.
4) You must own land to vote (and be a man and be white and have a lot of money – aka, be like Glenn Beck).
5) Bye bye income tax!
6) Hello turning 37 states back into terrritories! Wait… let ’em go completely. The territories weren’t part of the founders’ vision anyway.
7) Kiss medicine, electricity and the internal combustion goodbye. None of those things were part of the founders’ vision. If our government can’t evolve and change with time, then nothing should be allowed to.
This is fun.
#1 and #5 are sufficient. No need to throw the baby out with the bath water.
I’d like a pony, and another national holiday constructed around eating massive amounts of food. We should also bring back the A Team.
Perhaps many people (other than those with serious human deficits a la Beck/Palin/Dobbs/Cheney) the world over–in the manner of vast global marches in solidarity against preemptive war back in 2003– could descend on Detroit the day before Beck brings his anti-American tirade to the Mall to desecrate the benevolent symbolism and beauty of the Lincoln Memorial. We can pay tribute to the righteousness of The Dream and the speech and help the local economy. And make a preemptive mockery of his Mall desecration exercise in the meantime. Surely we can convince a bunch of “Know-Plenty” Canadians to come over for the occasion.
Bob Herbert wrote that good but tough-to-read op-ed about Detroit last Saturday in the NYT. Maybe he’d help promote this gigantic rally in Detroit.
By next summer there’s a glowing chance that Glenn Beck will be merely a relic of a very sick national moment, no more gobs of $$ for cranking out his ludicrous books and ideas and mock emotion. Remember that he got paid the equivalent of the median annual income in Ypsi for his speech at the Michigan Chamber of Commerce a couple months ago.
That mutton head is the pied piper of Republicans whose political motivation is based on fear of Democrats, rather than on nonpartisan principle.
I like the idea, Oliva, but maybe it’s a bit too removed. What about an event on the same day, on the other side of the Mall – a direct rival to Beck’s creation?
I still think his morning show was funnier.