I just got back from camping up in northern Michigan, and, at the moment, I’m deleting spam comments from the site. There are some 350 of them. Following are some of my favorite phrases, slightly edited, for your enjoyment. I think they make a lovely poem.
ergonomics, sincere, attract derision
confess
aroused, I would masturbate
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Hemorrhage
Gay heartbeat
erection suffocation
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The Search for the Animal chinbody image disorder
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All of these girls holes getting filled with ice
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The Viagra maintains my hardness throw out in to the ejaculation
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Suicide by Zoloft
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Rob Reiner
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We Were Both Surprised When Her Hand Brushed My Erection
the woman comes across as intimidating to himOlder Horses With Cervical Vertebral Malformation
Older Used Boat Trailer
Granny Scentyoung nude teens staying teens
captivated, I buy Viagra
I call this piece “indisputable ejaculation”.
If only Sir John Gielgud were alive to read it.
13 Comments
Sir John Gielgud might not be with us, but William Shatner is. He would do wonders with this found art marvel. I think I’m going to start a band just so I can call it Antique Colon Mass.
It’s not in your poem, but I like the phrase “sympathetic orgasm.” Please see if you can work it in.
Would someone please mock up an ad for the Perfect Strangers Mortuary with an image of Balki from the television show?
Reading “granny scent” made me start itching. It totally triggered an allergic reaction in my mind somehow.
That’s it! I love this site. I now have a solid idea for my new series.
Granny Scent
In Smellovision
Scratch N Sniff granny porn!!!!
Do people often dispute ejaculations?
Another dramatic reading in the news today-
http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
Diarrhea Permutation
A salad dressing
orbiting the prime minister
underhandedly shares a shower
with a federal ski lodge.
A federal ski lodge
steals pencils
from a vaporized cargo bay.
The pickup truck
behind the short order cook
ignores an apartment building.
When you see a carpet tack
it means that the chestnut
is reminiscing about lost glory.
A chestnut with an inferiority complex
secretly admires
the power drill.
A frustrating briar patch
satiates the boiled recliner.
An overripe blithe spirit
is muddy.
A blithe spirit flies into a rage.
A dust bunny slyly assimilates
a crank case.
A sheriff related to the minivan
believes that a satellite falls in love
with a loyal tape recorder.
But they need to remember
how a load-bearing burglar
wakes up.
– Sharon Mesmer
I have another good line from today’s batch of spam.
“herbal viagra jellys”
Believe it or not, there’s actually a word for this kind of ‘poem.’ It’s called FLARF and was even the subject of a recent mini-collection in the highly esteemed literary journal Poetry. So, Mark, you’re a Flarfist and you didn’t even know it.
I had no idea, Minal. Thank you for legitimizing my nonsense.
And will someone remind me to add the phrase I picked up when cleaning out my spam this morning – poonfarm?
I just got a good line to add:
“tempting girls with restless kittens crave sexual pleasure”
“Smell her fingers, they just come from the slits”