I don’t want to blog tonight


When you do a Google image search on “I don’t want to blog tonight,” this is the first image that pops up. I blacked out their eyes, as I thought that it was the respectful thing to do. Otherwise the image is untouched. I was just going to run it here with no explanation whatsoever, hoping that perhaps someone out there would do the necessary detective work and figure out the meaning. Then it dawned on me that no one would give a shit. So I decided to come right out and tell you what the image meant.

It would be cool if this became the international symbol for “I don’t want to blog tonight,” the same way that grasped hands over one’s own throat means, “I’m choking to death.” I don’t know if it would be this exact photo, or an image of people posed like the man and woman in this shot, that should be used, though… Maybe it should start with people using this exact image, and then evolve over time… How does that sound?

Looking at it, though, I’m not sure who it is in this image that doesn’t want to blog. Is it the man with the big drink? (Maybe he’s been working outside all day, and just wants to relax and focus his attention on his icy beverage.) Or is it the young woman who doesn’t want to blog? (Maybe she has plans for the man that… uhhh… involve the opposite of blogging. And, yes, sex is the opposite of blogging.) Or is it maybe the person taking the photo who doesn’t want to blog tonight? I suppose that could be it. I guess I could find out by reading the post on the site that accompanied the original image, but I don’t feel like it. I don’t feel like doing much of anything tonight.

Blogging is at the top of the list of things that I don’t want to do tonight, right above harvesting, cooking and eating my own tonsils. And I didn’t want to last night, either. There’s tons of stuff that I should probably be blogging about, but I just can’t seem to muster up the enthusiasm. I feel bad about it, but there’s not really much that I can do.

Maybe things will look different tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I’ll care about stuff again. Maybe I’ll see something that excites me, or pisses me off enough to motivate me. Or maybe God will command me to blog. As it is, though, I just want to take the night off and watch TV like everybody else.

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  1. Bill
    Posted July 14, 2009 at 9:52 pm | Permalink

    I know what you mean. Today I was walking downtown past the “what is that” gallery. There was a flyer from some concert stuck on the display window. It contained childish illustrations of half naked people…the bottom half. Then I turned around and there were at least a few dozen more littering blocks in all directions. Garbage like this freezes cultural capital in Ypsilanti. Shame on those depraved, selfish prima donnas.

  2. Posted July 14, 2009 at 11:38 pm | Permalink

    Perhaps you forgot that you didn’t have a tummy ache like I did. I didn’t want to do anything today but proceeded to clean a bunch of gym equipment and teach people how to make music. The thing that comforted me was the copper I placed next to my skin hooked to a 9-volt battery, also known as a Zapper. Google that!

  3. BrianB
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 7:47 am | Permalink

    Clearly, “I don’t want to blog tonight” is some kind of come on line for the couple in this picture. If you’re really quiet you can almost hear Barry White seductively coo the line over the silky strains of the Love Orchestra. “Take off that brassire my dear, I don’t want to blog tonight.”

  4. Craig
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    I like the idea of having a whole blog about ones inability to blog.

  5. Stan
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 9:04 am | Permalink

    It looks like the guy is walking up on her as she’s working at the computer. If I had to guess a caption, I’d guess, “I don’t want you to blog tonight.” Still, though, I like the idea of an internationally accepted icon for “I don’t want to blog tonight.”

  6. Susan
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 9:08 am | Permalink

    The top image when you do a Google image search for “I don’t want to blog tonight” is now a crudely drawn crab looking creature. You can see it here.


    And, when you do a regular Google search on “I don’t want to blog tonight,” the first thing that you get is this thread.

  7. Posted July 15, 2009 at 10:09 am | Permalink

    That was f’ing hilarious BrianB! Still laughing as I type this…

  8. tommy
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    Typing 415 words on a blog is technically … blogging. Even though you didn’t want to, you did! By the way, I didn’t want to read your blog tonight!

  9. KRST
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

    What’s this poster that Bill’s talking about? I’m intrigued, but not enough to approach the Why Would They gallery.

  10. Mr Johanona
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 3:25 pm | Permalink

    My computer is programmed to erase nipples.

  11. Posted July 15, 2009 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    Am I the only one that thinks he’s lactating into the cup?

  12. James Madison
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 10:44 pm | Permalink

    Nothing gives you, Mr. Mark Maynard.com, a constitutional right NOT to blog. Bloggers are required to blog on a daily or nightly basis. This is their constitutional obligation. Your readers require your wit, your insight, your knee observations, and your cultural sophistication on a daily basis. Indeed, the whole world requires these qualities, and you are obligated to provide them, at least one time each day.

  13. James Madison
    Posted July 15, 2009 at 10:45 pm | Permalink

    Your readers may desire your “knee observations,” but what I meant to say was that we require your “keen observations.”

  14. dp in exile
    Posted July 21, 2009 at 10:00 am | Permalink


    The bicycle film festival came to Detroit last weekend.

  15. Posted July 22, 2009 at 3:49 am | Permalink

    Maybe that’s what twitter is for … when you just don’t have the energy to blog.
    “No blogging (sex) tonight dear, I have a headache.”
    “OK, how about we just tweet (cuddle) then?”

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