Stencils, Unicorns and Fathers Day

I don’t know anything about the stencil art scene, but I just got an email from a guy in New York named Logan Hicks, and, from what I can tell, his stuff is pretty cool. He wanted me and Melissa, the co-owner of the Severed Unicorn Head Superstore to know that we’d inspired his girlfriend to bake him a severed unicorn head cake for Father’s Day. And he sent video.

Speaking of Fathers Day, it was weird here in Ypsi. Late that night, I was woken up by a man repeatedly yelling, “If you are pregnant, I hope you fucking die!” As I didn’t hear any response, I’m guessing that he was yelling into a cell phone. There was other stuff too. It went on for at least five minutes. Every time I thought that he’d stopped, he came back to yell something like, “Who the fuck would want to have a baby with you, bitch?” In case it’s not coming across, it wasn’t said in a playful tone either. It was extremely vile… I was going to joke and say that it made me realize what a good father I am in comparison, but, truth is, that didn’t cross my mind. I was just thinking about this little embryo out there, on the other end of the line, and what kind of life it was likely to have… Sorry to bring everyone down. I should have stopped with the severed unicorn head cake, right?

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3 Comments

  1. Terry
    Posted June 24, 2009 at 11:53 am | Permalink

    Maybe he wasn’t talking on a cell phone. Maybe he was yelling at you, through the window. Have you accused anyone lately of having fathered your ass-baby?

  2. retr.s
    Posted June 24, 2009 at 3:45 pm | Permalink

    It’s hard for me to work up any pity for a woman who allows a man like this ejaculate inside of her.

    And I’m not referring to the stencil artist, but the other gentleman.

  3. justsayin
    Posted June 24, 2009 at 6:52 pm | Permalink

    If you were conservative enough to own a firearm, you could have shot him and bettered the human race.

    Get your personal firearms permit now.

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