Milla in the Garden


Word is that when actresses Minnie Drive and Drew Barrymore were here in town, they ate most of their meals at the upscale Ann Arbor restaurant Eve. That didn’t much surprise me. I was, however, surprised when I heard that George “Ace from Facts of Life” Clooney, during the time he spent trapped here in Michigan, hoisted a few back at Ypsi’s Mr. Mike’s Lounge. But nothing prepared me for the email I received yesterday, IN ALL CAPS, telling me that model-turned-actress Milla Jovovich was eating at our local Olive Garden! That, for some reason that I’m still trying to comprehend, really freaked me out. And, on some level, I refuse to believe it’s true. I refuse to believe that anyone from Hollywood, super-hot or not, would eat at Olive Garden. I can accept that, on occasion, a celebrity might go through the McDonald’s drive-thru. That doesn’t shock me. But I can’t see anyone even remotely successful in the entertainment industry choosing to eat at an Olive Garden. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she’s Ukranian. Or, maybe she’s tired of eating around skinny people. Or, maybe she has to eat there for some contractual reason. Maybe there’s a crossover co-promotion deal between the faux-Italian Olive Garden chain and the Resident Evil franchise that I’m not aware of. I would feel better if that were the case. Anyway, I thought that I should start a thread, in case she’s online right now… Milla, if you’re out there, let me know and I’ll send you directions to somewhere better. It’s a little off the beaten path, but there’s a lovely little seafood place called Red Lobster that’s not too far from the OG. And, if I’m not mistaken, it’s either Shrimp Mania or Shitload of Shrimp month.

And, for the love of God, if you know of someone who saw her eating at Olive Garden, please encourage them to draw something for my languishing pencil Paparazzi project. It would mean the world to me.

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  1. stella
    Posted May 25, 2009 at 6:21 pm | Permalink

    I was told that she also ate at Pizza House in A2.

  2. Posted May 25, 2009 at 10:03 pm | Permalink

    Get out! Pizza House?

  3. stella
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 7:32 am | Permalink

    Perhaps she just really digs faux italian?

  4. Rich Retyi
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 8:45 am | Permalink

    The FIFTH ELEMENT at Olive Garden?????? Supposedly Ed Norton was seen eating in the window at Gratzi. Palio is SO much better!

  5. Paw
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 9:00 am | Permalink

    The fifth element is parmesan.

  6. Paw
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    And I happened to see Jovovich this weekend. She was wondering around the empty Michigan State Fair grounds in Detroit, eating funnel cake wrapped up in an elephant ear.

  7. Steph
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    Jovovich plays Edward Norton’s wife in the film Stone. It’s the same movie that Deniro is here shooting.

  8. Ol' E Cross
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 10:27 pm | Permalink

    That poor girl looks like a straw stuck under horse hoof. Good for her for eating at Olive Garden. Right now, it’d take more than two of her for a man to feel like he’d been anywhere bigger than his own backyard.

  9. Posted May 27, 2009 at 5:46 am | Permalink

    …cue intro to Sir Mix A Lot’s “Baby Got Back”…

  10. Publius
    Posted May 28, 2009 at 9:43 am | Permalink

    I like Olive Garden. I took the wife and kids on our trip to Tennessee. Everyone ate well and liked their meal.

  11. Paw
    Posted May 28, 2009 at 10:30 am | Permalink

    In defense of Olive garden, their Tennessee locations really are quite remarkable.

  12. Posted May 28, 2009 at 5:02 pm | Permalink

    I’ve long been of the opinion that we should pool our funds here in Ypsi to bankroll two international kidnapping teams. One would be deployed to Italy. One would be deployed to India. Both would be charged with finding a husband and wife team who can cook their asses off. Then, they would be brought back here and given a storefront rent free for one year.

  13. Posted September 6, 2009 at 12:08 pm | Permalink

    I suspect she doesn’t eat at Olive Garden all that often.

    (Warning: This link will take you to recent nude photos of the actress.)

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