Pencil Paparazzi: Hilary Swank in yoga pants

Today’s entry in the Pencil Paparazzi file comes from Heidi Frankenhauser. It was submitted with only the following in way of background – “great ass, yoga pants.”

When pressed for more, I was given the following:

the encounter took place last sunday while i was eating brunch at Zola.
my friend and i both walked by and after sitting remarked, “was that Hilary Swank?” we then debated about it and stared at the back of her head for the length of our meal. she was casually dressed in her athletic gear and just kind of sitting by herself with her blackberry and a cappuccino (which she sent back for an unknown reason). We didn’t confirm the identity until she walked by after using the restroom looking all perfect and celeb-like. our very grumpy waitress also confirmed that , yes, in fact, Hilary had become a regular at Zola.


I think I see the ass…. which is great, seeing as how it’s an image of Hilary Swank in yoga pants. But, is that her face at the top? And is that a cigarette dangling out of her mouth? And does her face, which is huge, have flippers?

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  1. Haunted Chicken Coop
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 7:08 am | Permalink

    That’s some depiction. Zola never sounded better. Maybe she’d just taken a hit to the jaw…maybe she’s been prepping for a round 2 of million dollar baby….

  2. lakecrest93
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 8:23 am | Permalink

    we just worked with her on set. she is very skinny (not a ‘great’ ass).
    and she doesn’t use a blackberry…it’s some other product. minnie has a motorola thing that she uses for texting.
    they joked on set: ‘isn’t it nice how we can all keep in touch (by texting each other)?!’ as they were sitting in their director chairs next to each other, each with their handhelds in hand, texting.
    then a conversation was initiated about redecorating their home theatres. hillary mentioned a carpet imported from england, some leather, some fabric on walls. it sounded tacky. it was obvious that they were just trying to impress each OTHER.
    honestly, folks, they poop and pee the same way we do. just regular people doing a job. it is SO not glamorous, it is hard work to make a movie.

  3. Heidi
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    My apologies for mistaking “some other” technological product for a Blackberry. I personally own a Razer, which I believe was cool 3 to 4 years ago.
    It should be noted that this drawing was done blindly (eyes-closed) from memory. She is skinny, but I stand by the “great ass” comment.

  4. rosie
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 10:32 am | Permalink

    the sketch needs teeth, then I’ll see HS in it.

  5. Gina Dentata
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 12:38 pm | Permalink


    Depends on where you put the teeth.

  6. Paw
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 1:19 pm | Permalink

    It’s amazing that you got the ass that right with your eyes closed. It’s cool.

    The next person should draw theirs blindfolded, with a pencil between their toes.

  7. Dirtgrain
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    It’s the monster from the movie The Thing. Your pencil is trying to tell you something. Get a blood sample from her immediately, and stick a hot poker in it to see if it recoils.

  8. Robert
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    Damn! Even in that goofy scribble she’s hot! How does Hilary Swank do it?!

  9. Posted March 20, 2009 at 5:24 pm | Permalink

    I like the picture so much more knowing that you did it with your eyes closed, Heidi. And I would encourage people to stretch along those same lines. And, as I mentioned before, I’d even like for people to just focus on elements glanced in the encounter. I, for instance, am thinking about drawing Mike Perini’s fanny pack… Local NPR folks count as celebrities, don’t they?

  10. Posted March 20, 2009 at 5:25 pm | Permalink

    And it’s as though God guided your hand when you approached the ass. I’ve never believed in miracles and such, but I do think there’s something divine at work here.

  11. Posted March 20, 2009 at 5:29 pm | Permalink

    And I’d appreciate it if, from now on, someone could always work in a reference to fanged vaginas.

    OK, to make it a little easier, let’s say fanged vaginas, the actor Patrick McGoohan, and recipes using canned soup. If every comment thread from now on were to incorporate one of those, I’d be very happy.

  12. Posted March 20, 2009 at 5:31 pm | Permalink

    And thank you Lakecrest 93 for your on-set report. Please feel free to leave comments more often. I’m fascinated by behind the scenes stuff that illustrates how mundane and unexciting such things are.

  13. Luke Bison
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 11:13 pm | Permalink

    I’ve done my research and Heidi’s etching is just about right.

  14. Ol E Cross
    Posted March 20, 2009 at 11:32 pm | Permalink

    I’m trying to be allured by the yoga pant ass but that spike just below the buttocks is ruining it for me. I can’t figure out if it’s a puss filled boil or another wandering tooth?

  15. Dirtgrain
    Posted March 21, 2009 at 7:59 am | Permalink

    It’s a scale. She’s a mermaid, the kind that makes you fall in love with her, lures you out to see, and watches you drown.

  16. Posted March 21, 2009 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

    To me, the drawing looks exactly like Jennifer Coolidge from “Best In Show”.

  17. Paw
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 1:56 pm | Permalink

    The thing below her butt is a barb, like on a fishing hook.

  18. Posted March 23, 2009 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    Any new submissions? Should I maybe make a flyer that we could post around town, asking for them?

  19. Shannon Morgan
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 3:58 pm | Permalink

    Didn’t Patrick Elkins tell her to take off her yoga pants?

One Trackback

  1. By Pencil Paparazzi: Hilary and the umbrella on April 2, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    […] was at this point that I was able to observe her posterior in an effort to confirm her identity. […]

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