Bacon Party

I had this idea today for a giant bacon ‘n beer party come springtime. I’m not sure how it would work exactly, though. Maybe people would bring raw bacon and we’d fry it up on big sheets of hot metal in the back yard. It would be cool to see how big of a bacon cloud we could generate, and how far away people could smell it. If we fried 100 pounds of bacon, I bet we could get more distance than the poison gas cloud released by Marsh Plating a few years ago… The dogs of Ypsi would go fucking insane.

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  1. Ol' E Cross
    Posted February 4, 2009 at 11:57 pm | Permalink

    Oh jeez. Thank you Mark… I have to go somewhere private now…

  2. Brackache
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 2:13 am | Permalink

    Who gets all the grease?

  3. Elvis Costello
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 5:35 am | Permalink

    Oh Yeah…Thick cut, smoked bacon…nothing better for the soul, or worse for the old arteries!

  4. Posted February 5, 2009 at 7:42 am | Permalink

    And you could wrap leftover groundhog meat in it.

  5. Posted February 5, 2009 at 7:53 am | Permalink

    Brackache has been assigned the task of bringing the groundhog bacon.

  6. Mike
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 8:01 am | Permalink

    Fantastic idea

    The great Jim Gaffigan said it best…

    “To improve other food, people wrap it in bacon. Its delicious.”

  7. Brackache
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 9:37 am | Permalink

    Can you power a diesel car on bacon grease?

  8. Paw
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    Grease Slip-n-Slide!!!!

  9. Paw
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 10:23 am | Permalink

    Will there be bands? Will they be paid in bacon? Can bacon be the new currency of Ypsilanti?

  10. Posted February 5, 2009 at 11:31 am | Permalink

    I’ll only do the Bacon Grease Slip-n-Slide if I can be nude.

  11. Brent
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

    Don’t forget to include to include the bacon explosion

    “Bacon up that sausage, boy”
    “But Dad my heart hurts.”

  12. Dirtgrain
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

    I’ve been seeing stuff about bacon everywhere. Is it the economy? Maybe hard times lowers health as a priority? When it gets worse, will we all be having pig roasts?

  13. Anonymatt
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 5:58 pm | Permalink

    I think what you need here is a grease-powered grill or griddle. I guess you’d have to prime it with old bacon grease or vegetable oil, but after that each batch should provide grease with which to cook the next batch.

    Not that I’d join in, it’s been 15+ years since I ate bacon.

  14. Posted February 5, 2009 at 7:05 pm | Permalink

    I think Anonymatt is on to something. Perpetual motion /is/ possible, as is cold fusion – it’s just that nobody’s tried powering it with bacon before!

    Mark, I think your site has just solved the world’s energy problems and rebuilt Ypsi’s economy all at the same time.

  15. dp in exile
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 7:41 pm | Permalink

    count me in.

    i nominate our friends in the brewer’s guild to bring homebrew for all.

    for my part, i’ll bring bacon.

  16. Posted February 5, 2009 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

    Just finished off 5 pieces of crispy bacon myself… I’m in.

  17. Robert
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 7:56 pm | Permalink

    We should have a second, bigger grill, where we dump all the excess grease and keep it boiling continuously until the air becomes unbearable for blocks in all directions.

    Hopefully, the Obama Administration will have restored one or two of our constitutional rights by then, and Brackache will have to stay true to his promise to eat tablespoons of the grease.

  18. Posted February 5, 2009 at 8:25 pm | Permalink

    As an addendum to my previous post, I got sad and hungry looking at my empty plate after eating my 5 pieces of bacon, and ate 5 more pieces of bacon.

    We should have a bacon eating contest at the bacon fest.

  19. Brackache
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    Thank you, Robert. I was hoping you’d remember.

    It was 1 heaping tablespoon per unconstitutional law repealed, if memory serves. Like the Patriot Act. I aught to deduct one tablespoon per unconstitutional law signed, but that would be too easy for me, and I’m feeling generous.

    My point being, the tablespoons will be more heaping if you let the grease cool down first.

  20. Ol' E Cross
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 10:03 pm | Permalink


    Bacon is the new cigarette. We will always seek something to free us from the tyranny of health.

  21. Magpie
    Posted February 5, 2009 at 10:12 pm | Permalink

    I know just what I’ll wear.

  22. Laura
    Posted February 6, 2009 at 12:00 am | Permalink

    That’s real nice magpie. Anyone who’d rather not get trichinellosiscan dance with me.

  23. Robin
    Posted February 6, 2009 at 12:28 am | Permalink

    You sluts got no class.

  24. Steve Swan
    Posted February 6, 2009 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

    I could absolutely use the grease. I’ll take all you’ve got. I don’t have a film project in mind for it, but I’m sure I can think of something. “Lard Lovers” might work as a title.

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