ricky nelson giant octopus

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21 Comments

  1. applejack
    Posted January 29, 2009 at 11:24 pm | Permalink

    abe lincoln
    panda bear

  2. Furball
    Posted January 29, 2009 at 11:27 pm | Permalink

    Sounds like someone is getting a little furry curious?

  3. Luke Bison
    Posted January 29, 2009 at 11:52 pm | Permalink

    I’d like to be the bison that fucked Bill Cody from here to Lookout Mountain.

  4. Posted January 30, 2009 at 12:18 am | Permalink

    A blob fish.
    Loretta Swit.

  5. Brackache
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 8:46 am | Permalink

    Godzilla
    Erin Gray

  6. Paw
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 8:53 am | Permalink

    Ropen.
    Charles Darwin.

    I would also accept.

    Galapagos Tortoise.
    Darwin.

  7. dragon
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 9:13 am | Permalink

    That’s easy.

    Starfish
    Lizzie Borden

  8. Steve Swan
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 11:39 am | Permalink

    I would say Catherine the Great and Horse, but another shape-shifting time-traveler got there first. Damn!

  9. Robert
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    Wolverine
    Woody Hayes

  10. mark
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 9:25 pm | Permalink

    I think this is my favorite thread of all time…. Please continue….

  11. ol' e cross
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm | Permalink

    I really find this to be one of the most complicated questions you’ve asked on this blog, and I’d like some more detailed parameters. I mean, do I pick what animal I’d like to be first, and then pick who I’d like to do as said animal, or do I pick who I’d most like to do and then decide what animal I’d like to do him or her as? Even with that answered all the questions of dominance vs. desire come into play.

    Still, even with all those variables, I think my most honest answer is:

    Chipmunk.
    Patrick Swayze.

  12. ol' e cross
    Posted January 30, 2009 at 11:44 pm | Permalink

    By the way, I think all readers should be required to answer this question. EOS? Olivia? Glen S? Curt W? EgPenet? JoF? Mark H? Dirtgrain? Cousin? Robert!!! Duuuuude?…

  13. Posted January 31, 2009 at 7:15 am | Permalink

    Dick Butkus Woolly Mammoth

    and/or

    Katherine Hepburn Centipede

  14. Robert
    Posted January 31, 2009 at 2:46 pm | Permalink

    Ol’ E Cross, I filed early on this one so that I wouldn’t be left standing in line sifting through scraps.

    But, since I’m here again, I’ll make a second submission:

    Carrie Fisher
    Horseshoe Crab

  15. Posted January 31, 2009 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    Lamprey
    Charles Nelson Riley

  16. Patrick
    Posted February 1, 2009 at 1:30 am | Permalink

    Hello, guys. I guess I am a reader more or less, so I will answer this one, too. That is, if nobody objects.
    I am really torn between fucking Cardinal Richelieu or Merle Oberon. Or maybe Torquemada. Anyway, I would do it as Megatherium Americanum.
    Although, I would really prefer to be a well constructed, hand made musical instrument played expertly by a true professional.
    I would like to be Cecilia Bartoli’s larynx for just one night. It would be better than making love to her (which would be quite nice also). It would be so intense that I would just give myself completely to her and allow myself to become her instrument. It would be completely innocent and hopeful and useful and all those good things without the guilt of sex, which always feels a little guilty to me even if just for procreation which is a necessary and perfectly reasonable excuse for it.
    I would like to be a well constructed, well tuned koto played by Hiroe Morikawa just for one performance.
    Kind of like the dulcimer of Coleridge’s “Abyssinian maid”. You know, “if I could recall her symphony and song” and all that. I would love to be an inspiration for something as beautiful as a poem by Coleridge.
    Or maybe I would just butt-fuck the ancient mariner.

  17. Dirtgrain
    Posted February 1, 2009 at 7:01 am | Permalink

    Tiger
    Siegfried and Roy

  18. Stella
    Posted February 1, 2009 at 7:29 am | Permalink

    Kimba the White Lion/Speed Racer

  19. Robert
    Posted February 1, 2009 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    Oh, and in my first entry, I meant “Wolverine” as the famous person from history.

  20. Ricky Neslon
    Posted March 29, 2009 at 10:21 pm | Permalink

    Mark, I’m a big fan of your site. So I decided to make your fantasy wish come true.

  21. Posted March 29, 2009 at 10:42 pm | Permalink

    Somehow I thought that it would be a lot sexier…

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