marrying daddy’s hair

Clementine found me working at the computer this afternoon, climbed up into my lap, and told me that she wanted to marry me. I explained that (because of the evil Republicans) we could only be married to one person, and that I was already married to her mother. She sat there quietly for a moment, considering what I’d told her, and then replied with what she saw as a compromise that would allow us to work around the rules. “Daddy,” she said, “I want to marry your hair.”

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  1. ol' e cross
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 12:45 am | Permalink

    Thanks to the power of science, ebay and the little junior mark we have incubating, Clementine’s wish may very well come true.

  2. mark
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 6:51 am | Permalink

    I was half expecting to wake up this morning to find myself bald, with her and my hair having eloped.

  3. Posted January 12, 2009 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    This is exactly why I keep my head shaved.

  4. Brackache
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 10:53 am | Permalink

    Great, strike “hair marrier” from the list.

    I’m running out of unclaimed inoffensive pejoratives.

  5. Paw
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    I don’t want to marry your hair, but I wouldn’t mind wining and dining it for a while, leaving the door open to possible romance. Does your hair have a profile up on

  6. Curt Waugh
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    Dude, your hair is SO gonna end up “Dateline”.

    “Excuse me, mark’s hair. Please have a seat.”

    “Uh, I was just here for a cut and blow… uh… I mean…”

    “I’m going to read from your blog. Lemme see… uh… wow! There isn’t one interesting post on the whole thing. That’s never happened before. I guess you’re free to go.”

  7. ol' e cross
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 3:34 pm | Permalink

    Wow. Robert is so hard to get along with that even his hair left him?

  8. Posted January 12, 2009 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    OEC’s first comment and link got me thinking. I get that its wrong to sleep with my super hot cousin, but would it be okay to sleep with a clone of my super hot cousin? That’s not in the Bible is it?

  9. Posted January 12, 2009 at 5:33 pm | Permalink

    Actually, ol’ e cross, I rejected it.

  10. Posted January 12, 2009 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

    That probably wasn’t fair of me to say. There ain’t no good guy. There ain’t no bad guy. There’s only my hair and me, and we just disagree.

  11. john on forest
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 7:20 pm | Permalink

    Back to the topic of urban farming. mark, do you have a rabbit? Perhaps, Clementine was using the homonym of hair: hare.

  12. Clay Pidgeon
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 7:46 pm | Permalink

    If I clone myself, and have sex with the clone of myself, does that make me gay, straight or homophobic?

  13. KB
    Posted January 12, 2009 at 8:10 pm | Permalink

    Your heir?

  14. Posted January 12, 2009 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

    Clay Pidgeon, I believe the University of Georgia did a study involving precisely just that very question back in the mid 90s.

    So please, so that we may answer your question accurately, please hook yourself up to the PPG and watch the video linked above.

  15. Posted January 12, 2009 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

    …and if you post high readings on the PPG while watching this video, you’d be classified as madmanamourous.

  16. jbirdy
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 2:51 pm | Permalink

    Clementine is the best. You two are raising such a fantastic little being!

  17. Robert
    Posted January 14, 2009 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    If Clementine runs off with your ‘do’, you’ll be left hareless, hairless, and heirless.

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