homophobic engorgement

    I have my doubts as to how real this is, but someone just sent me a link to a discussion board where folks are talking about a 1996 Engorgement Study supposedly conducted at the University of Georgia. I think the following quote is probably the best thing I’ve read in 2008.

    Both groups showed an overall increase in penis circumference while watching all three categories of sexually explicit material. But the only instance where there was a significant difference in engorgement between the homophobes and non-homophobes was during the homosexual-male porn. The homophobic males showed significantly more engorgement while watching two men go at it than the non-homophobic males.

    Like I said, I suspect it’s not true, but I just love the idea of homophobes having blood-flow monitors hooked to their wieners and then subjected to hardcore videos of gay sex. I’d love to see documentary footage of that.

    And when I say that I don’t believe it, I just mean that I doubt that it happened. I don’t doubt for a moment, however, that, if such a test did take place, that homophobic men would trigger the bonerometer within seconds of being shown men playing with each other’s wieners.

    [This post was brought to you by Fred Phelps, Rick Santorum, and members of the 700 Club everywhere.]

    Posted in Other | 12 Comments

    five hours until the ypsilanti demon party

    The folks at the Dreamland Theater are now 4 hours into their 24-hour puppet show marathon. The footage shown here was taken about 3 hours into the masochistic spectacle of puppetry endurance. I’m sorry the video so shaky, but I was terrified by the Michigan-shaped ghost and the demon-possessed bag of Funyuns… Anyway, it’s a good show. As best as I can figure, the play is about a young woman in “Ypsilanti City” who, after having her boyfriend arrested, and being fired from her cushy position as City Planner, comes across a filthy magic comb that turns her life around. Her name is Slipley Wondersocks. I can’t remember much else, except for the fact that she won the lottery to the tune of $8 billion, and that urban planners have the job of making stop signs and putting them up. Oh, and that dead people, including Abraham Lincoln, Gertrude Stein, Oscar Wilde, her grandmother, and LL Cool J, keep sending her e-mails, inquiring as to the whereabouts of the magic comb. Anyway, it all seems to be building up to a huge party scene that begins at 9:00 tonight, when the demon realm and the human realm somehow become aligned. So, if you don’t have New Year’s plans, and you like hearing puppets making quite funny local references, come on out to Ypsi and join the party. (The show runs until 12:00 noon tomorrow.)

    [Another clip can be found here.]

    Posted in Art and Culture | 3 Comments

      public sentiment turning even further against israel

      The most recent flare-up between Israel and the Palestinian territories has been going for four days now. According to recent United Nations reports, 4 Israelis and more than 350 Palestinians have been killed. Of those, it looks like 3 Israelis and 60 Palestinians were civilians. And, to make matters worse, it looks like it’s just the beginning. According to Israel’s Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, this was just “phase one” of the air strikes destined for Gaza.

      One of the few people in the U.S. government to suggest that the Israeli response was disproportionate, considering the toll of the Palestinian attacks, was Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinch, who said today that the air strikes from Israel in response to Palestinian rocket attacks was “indiscriminate mass violence in violation of international law.”

      The specifics can be debated, but general consensus outside of Washington seems to be that Israel has gone to far. In evidence of that, the most viewed picture on the internet today is of a Palestinian apartment building blown to bits in an Israeli air strike. Israel claims to be justified in this particular attack, which they claim was against a Hamas member in the northern Gaza Strip, but it’s clear from the image that many others likely died. The sense I’m getting from jumping around online tonight is that Israel has crossed the line — what with their using kids as human shields and ramming relief boats headed for Gaza. It’s gotten so bad that, even observant Jews are beginning to question their support for Israel.

      Unfortunately for us, the folks covering the story here in the sates seem to have “a stunningly superficial knowledge” of the region, the history and the context.

      Posted in Politics | 36 Comments

      last open thread of 2008

      So, how was your Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Festivus, or whatever it was that you celebrated? Anything worthy of note? Anything you think the rest of us might find of interest?

      Anything you’ve been wanting to share, holiday-related of not?

      If there’s something bugging you, you might want to get it off your chest now, before we enter the new year. Keeping things bottled up isn’t healthy.

      The last open thread of the year only comes once a year. Better take advantage of it.

      Anything you’d like to see more of here at MM.com in the new year?

      More recipes? More photos of cute, furry animals? More opportunities to purchase my hair and nail trimmings? More celebrity interviews? Shorter posts? More advertising? More photos? More attractive people in those photos? (I’ve been thinking about holding an open casting call for models to play me, Linette and Clementine on the site. If that’s something that you would like, let me know, and I’ll pursue it.) Should I move from Ypsilanti to another town? (Are you prepared to make me an offer?) Seriously, if there’s any way your needs aren’t being met, let me know. I live to serve.

      Posted in Other | 42 Comments

      i know this site has become something of a beezy’s infomercial as of late…

      …but I just found out about something happening tonight that sounds pretty cool.

      The folks at Beezy’s, in celebration of the annual cultural happening known as Mittenfest, are opening up late tonight. They’ll be open from 1:00 AM to 4:00 AM, running something they’re referring to as “Beezy’s Tantalizing Breakfast Buffet,” which will include platters of fruit, ‘happy banana’ french toast, sausage gravy and biscuits, breakfast burritos, scrambled eggs, coffee, etc. It’ll cost you $9. And, of that, $3 will be donated do the super fantastic local writing non-profit 826 Michigan. So, when you roll out of the Elbow Room, consider scoffing down some good Ypsi grub before heading back home to Ann Arbor, or wherever it is that you’re from.

      And, speaking of Beezy’s, you’ve just got a few more days to take advantage of that MM.com special.

      Posted in Food | 7 Comments

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