wait, i think i can hear god speaking

It’s the first and last time I’m likely to say this, but Sarah Palin was right about one thing. She was absolutely right a few days ago when she told us that, come Election Day, God would “do the right thing”.

Not only did God arrange for her to go back to shooting wolves and skinning moose on the frozen tundra of Alaska yesterday, but he saw fit to remove North Carolina Senator Elizabeth Dole from office too. Dole, as you may recall, was the politician who made national headlines for releasing a completely baseless television ad questioning her opponent’s belief in God. Her Democratic opponent, the “Godless” Kay Hagan, won decisively.

Here’s the ad in case you missed it:

Fortunately for us all, however, God knew where to draw the line, leaving Democrats with fewer than the 60 seats they wanted in the Senate, and thereby protecting our beloved nation from the destruction foretold by the visionary Joe Lieberman… Of course, all of that could change with the runoffs that are expected.

Personally, I don’t think God got involved. If he did, Michele Bachman would be a glowing pile of embers right now.

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  1. marc
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 7:52 am | Permalink

    God needs her in Alaska, where she can do his work of preventing rape victims from having abortions.

  2. Posted November 6, 2008 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    I want to say that that’s what you get for trying to speak for God, but then I’d be speaking for God.

    I have t say that the crowd that assembled for McCain’s concilliatory speech looked like a group getting ready for a book burning.

  3. Robert
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 8:46 am | Permalink

    God is keeping Michele Bachman around for fun. I think it all might be just a test directed at guys like me. It causes all sorts of confusion in my soul when hot women go around acting insane. It’s obviously a test…the toughest one I’ve ever faced.

    By the way Mark, that ad the GOP ran against Hagan probably was the very thing that actually made the difference in that race. At the beginning of last week Dole and Hagan were statistically tied and Dole looked like she could pull it out. But then those asshole neo-cons who run the GOP came in and put that ad out. Dole probably could have insisted that they not run it, but don’t be so sure they even showed it to her before they did. She’s just another weak goof like McCain who doesn’t know these neo-con assholes are destroying their party, and sabotaging their races. If they do know, they are just too weak to stop them. McCain is a far better man than the sick fuckers who truly run the GOP, and who surrounded him in his campaign.

    Also, for the record, in the last weeks, I made at least a couple comments on your blog here referring to Minnesota and the indications that I was seeing that an election fraud was about to take place there. I was worried that it was going to be against Obama and that it would be part of a multi-state strategy to fix the presidential election again. It appears now that it DID take place, but it was the Senate race that they were fixing. All the indications are there, right down to that Florida2000 style 500 vote supposed margin of victory. I think Democratic officials there should call for a federal investigation.

    I think they should also look into similar irregularities in and around Atlanta. It appears there may have been mass electronic fraud there. That Georgia runoff should be postponed until oversight by a legitimate justice department is back in place and can monitor the election.

    The Oregon and Alaska Senate elections should also be investigated by a legitimate justice department.

    Also Mark, have you been following the story about the FBI investigation of Obama’s Campaign files being hacked from locations in Russia and China. This is essentially an electronic Watergate break-in. It probably won’t get much press.

  4. Robert
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 8:56 am | Permalink

    Oh, I forgot to mention, In the 72 hours following the release of the GOP’s “godless” ad in North Carolina, polls showed Dole’s support suddenly dropping three or four points. That sick ad sealed her fate. I hope the GOP keeps going off the deep end like that. They have been driving our country off a cliff for the last eight years. Now it would be nice to see them focus that same sort of leadership back onto their own stupid party, and drive that heap of shit into oblivion. If the Democrats re-establish law and order in regard to elections, those criminals are going to lose another pile of seats in 2010.

  5. Brackache
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    The Lord chastises the child He delights in. Also jerks.

    I expect big government evangelical Republican hypocrites will be sitting around crying and singing “By the Rivers of Babylon” for a few years in sackcloth and ashes if they know what’s good for them.

    (slight biblical knowledge required to understand comment)

  6. Robert
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 10:05 am | Permalink

    Strangely, though their exit polls showed Franken had won the election in Minnesota by several points, the AP declared Coleman the winner. There’s absolutely no good way to make sense of that. Even the highly suspect official numbers were so close there shouldn’t have been any call. It appears someone at AP got an order to provide the same kind of fake media cover FOX News provided in Florida in 2000.

    Coleman has been acting strange since Tuesday night. I get the impression he’s worried there will be too much attention on the details of what went on there on Election Day. Coleman staffers had unusual involvement with the “guarding”, transport and tabulation of ballots in that election. There absolutely needs to be an investigation!

    Exit polls showed Franken winning by 12 points. And these are the same exit polls that predicted other races very accurately. The Minnesota GOP is running a PR blitz that is clearly meant for the purpose of blocking media and public interest in details. They’re scared.

    It appears that money which was distributed under the cover of being for added security measures during the Republican National Convention actually went to pay off individuals helping in the fixing of the general election for Coleman, and possibly others, such as Bachman.

  7. Paw
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

    God is too busy hating gays and people who eat pork to care about presidential elections.

  8. Brackache
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 4:34 pm | Permalink

    I’ve done a little research, and at first glance it appears He’s flip-flopped on the pork issue.

  9. Robert
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 7:13 pm | Permalink

    The Devil is just a 527 trying to Swift-Boat God.

  10. Posted November 6, 2008 at 8:31 pm | Permalink

    I wish God, or really anyone, would buy me a $150,000 wardrobe in exchange for running my mouth for a few months.

  11. mark
    Posted November 6, 2008 at 11:47 pm | Permalink

    It’s now looking more like $200,000.

  12. Meta
    Posted November 7, 2008 at 9:41 am | Permalink

    Some other people who speak for God will be picketing the funeral of Obama’s grandmother:


  13. Robert
    Posted November 21, 2008 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    God did the right thing again and made sure Palin couldn’t get herself appointed to the Alaska Senate seat being vacated by that felon Stevens.

  14. Robert
    Posted November 17, 2009 at 10:24 am | Permalink

    On behalf of the citizens of Alaska, God must have asked Palin to resign as their governor, and write a book.

    She was on Oprah the other day expressing disapproval of her alleged grand daughter’s daddy, Levi Johnson, for posing in a magazine for gay men, Playgirl. You see, nudity is a sacred thing that should only be shared with one’s spouce and a few of his/her business partners.

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