where will i go when things get bad

Years ago, there was an avid reader of this site named Dorothy. She was a retired pharmacist who lived on a farm somewhere in Pennsylvania with her husband, who, as I recall, was a retired large animal veterinarian. As some of you might remember, she often left feisty anti-Bush comments here. Anyway, at least once every few months, she would send me an email telling me that, if the shit ever hit the fan, and society really started falling apart, the family and I could come and live on the compound with them. I realize, of course, that she probably never really existed, and that Dorothy was likely just the creation of some bored cubicle drone who got off on stoking my fear about the impending collapse, but I loved having this idea that my family had a beautiful farm to escape to… Well, it just occurred to me right that I haven’t heard from Dorothy in a few years now, and that I don’t have the faintest idea where I’d go if things got really bad…

Speaking of the collapse of societies, I just stumbled across a good comment in a Metafilter thread about a 1972 forecast by the Club of Rome which, so far, has proven to be balls-on accurate. (It predicts total economic collapse in 2020.) Anyway, here’s the comment I liked. It reminded me just a little bit of Vonnegut.

Easter Islander #1: Dude, I think we’re running out of trees.

Easter Islander #2: Fuck off, you fucking commie. Trees come from the ground. We have plenty of ground.

[cannibal holocaust]

[fin]

So, where are you planning to be during the cannibal holocaust?

[Tonight’s post was brought to you by Jared Diamond’s “Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed.” I know it doesn’t sound it, but it would make a wonderful Christmas gift.]

Posted in Mark's Life | 38 Comments

stocking up on ypsipanties and the like for the holidays (and the depression)

Linette and I are planning to primarily have new stuff at the December 6 Shadow Art Fair, so if you were planning to pick up any Ypsipanties, “Iggy Pop was from Ypsilanti” t-shirts, back issues of Crimewave, or severed unicorn head merchandise for the holidays, you’d better order online today.

[I’d forgotten all about this Ypsipanty article until I went digging through the photo archives… It’s probably the best photo that Linette, Clementine and I have ever taken together.]

Posted in Special Projects | 9 Comments

the obama stimulus plan, and the team to sell it

I’d be a liar if I told you that I liked the fact that Obama is naming so many Clinton retreads to his cabinet. The idealist in me wants to see new faces and bold change. I suspect, however, that he’s doing exactly what he needs to do, given the ambitious agenda that he’s got planned. Carter, as I understand it, took power with a band of Washington outsiders, and paid dearly for it. His legislative initiatives were, for the most part, dead on arrival. Obama, I’m certain, is just putting the people in place whom he feels have the best chance of getting legislation through. So, while it bugs the hell out of me to hear Republican commentators praising the choices he’s made thus far, I keep telling myself that there’s a reason, and it’s not just because he plans to continue the status quo.

Based on his most recent statements concerning the economy, it certainly doesn’t sound as though he’s got more of the same in mind when it comes to running the government. Yesterday, he called for 2.5 million new jobs to be created by 2011, putting Americans to work modernizing schools, repairing transportation infrastructure, and building alternative energy facilities. And, according to today’s New York Times, indications are that he will begin pushing his plan through Congress, “even before taking office.”

Here’s video of Obama’s Saturday announcement:

So, yeah, I’m willing to cut him some slack for taking right-leaning Clinton retreads onboard, as long as he’s pushing forward an agenda that deals head-on with the serious issues confronting us, like restoring the Constitution, getting the economy turned around, transitioning the country away from oil, and providing comprehensive healthcare for our citizens… Creating jobs to fix our neglected infrastructure and build our capacity for the production of alternative energy is the right way to go, and, if it takes a cabinet of Clinton folks to get us there, I’m OK with it… Hell, at this point, I’d even be OK with him naming Cheney to his cabinet, if I thought that it might somehow help get our nation back on track.

Posted in Politics | 24 Comments

do not read this if you are thinking of moving to michigan

The New York Times is going to be running a really depressing article on Michigan’s economy in tomorrow’s paper. Here are a few of the highlights:

The bad news keeps coming to Michigan, a state long stuck in recession and at ground zero in the national economic downturn. But unlike in months and years past, there are no exceptions to the despair….

New data show the state’s unemployment rate crept up to 9.3 percent, almost three times what it was in 2000, and, along with Rhode Island, the highest in the country. Just last week, Herman Miller Inc., an office furniture company based in Zeeland, Mich., announced that it would eliminate or lay off 400 to 650 workers, many of them in western Michigan. SKD Automotive, an auto parts manufacturer in Jonesville, Mich., where it is the largest employer, indicated it would eliminate 300 jobs.

As a result of the steady job losses that began in the summer of 2000, 1.82 million Michigan residents, or close to 20 percent of the population, are now on some form of public assistance, including food stamps and home heating credits, a record for the state…

Around the state, home foreclosures are commonplace, the trust fund that pays unemployment benefits is millions of dollars in debt, food banks are struggling and health agencies are reporting an uptick in people with symptoms like anxiety and depression. Suicides were up in recent years, although officials caution against drawing any direct links between deaths and the economy.

In one sign of distress, in the first nine months of this year, some 130,000 Michigan residents who had lost their jobs remained out of work so long that they ran out of regular unemployment benefits. By the middle of this month, 63,000 people (who had already run out of their ordinary maximum benefit — as many as 26 weeks, at as much as $362 a week) also ran out of an extension authorized by Congress…

After six years of cuts in the state’s budget, more trims seem inevitable because of a shortfall this fiscal year, expected by one estimate to be $400 million….

So, that’s where we are after weathering five years of recession. I wonder how many of us would still be here if we didn’t have homes that we knew we couldn’t sell.

Posted in Michigan | 20 Comments

number nine and falling fast

MM.com is now recognized as the world leader in solid douche… That’s right – according to Google, we’re now the undisputed “solid douche” authority. (I’m working on a press release acknowledging the honor.) Sadly, we’ve dropped to number nine in the more competitive arena of “ball shaving”, though.

Speaking of “number nine,” did you know that this week marked the 40th anniversary of my favorite Beatles’ recording, the white album, which contains the much debated song Revolution 9, in which the phrase “number nine” is repeated several times? I was going to link to it, but, instead, how about the far superior Dear Prudence? Man that’s a hell of a song… And, as long as we’re talking about it, I suspect most of you know that the song was written about Mia Farrow’s sister Prudence, who had accompanied the band to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s retreat in India, but did you know that, many years later, the young Farrow sister would be a production assistant on the film The Muppets Take Manhattan? I don’t know why, but I find that absolutely fascinating.

Posted in Other | 4 Comments

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