mark, what’s the most fucked up thing you’ve read in the news today?

Oh, that would have to be the story in the Guardian about the inhabitants of the tiny island nation of the Maldives, who are saving their money so that they can purchase a non-coastal homeland, for when their islands start disappearing due to global warming. Here’s a clip:

…Mohamed Nasheed, who takes power officially tomorrow in the island’s capital, Male, said the chain of 1,200 island and coral atolls dotted 500 miles from the tip of India is likely to disappear under the waves if the current pace of climate change continues to raise…

He said Sri Lanka and India were targets because they had similar cultures, cuisines and climates. Australia was also being considered because of the amount of unoccupied land available.

“We do not want to leave the Maldives, but we also do not want to be climate refugees living in tents for decades,” he said.

Environmentalists say the issue raises the question of what rights citizens have if their homeland no longer exists. “It’s an unprecedented wake-up call,” said Tom Picken, head of international climate change at Friends of the Earth. “The Maldives is left to fend for itself. It is a victim of climate change caused by rich countries”…

Fortunately for the 300,000 inhabitants of the Maldives, they still have a relatively lucrative vacation industry that may make it possible for them to purchase land elsewhere. What happens to those less fortunate, though? Do the United States and China, as the largest producers of global warming causing pollution, owe them land? Might we have to start handing over red states? And, if so, can I have the reality television rights?

[This post was brought to you by the very cool side effect of our recent election – the global Obama effect.]

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10 Comments

  1. Posted November 11, 2008 at 11:02 am | Permalink

    Well, it’s obvious that environmentalists are just trying to destroy the economy of the the Maldives by making up fantasies of human induced climate change.

    Perhaps if they just all became Libertarians and young earth creationists, everything would be fine.

  2. Brackache
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    Agreed.

  3. Paw
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    I have two words for the people of Maldives.

    WATER

    STREET

    Seriously. Think about it.

  4. Brackache
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

    The floodplain claim should be comparably laughable.

  5. Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:45 pm | Permalink

    I’m still surprised that Florida hasn’t gotten into this debate. They are seriously FUCKED.

  6. mark
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    Floridians have Jesus looking out for them. They don’t have anything to worry about.

  7. Brackache
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 11:57 pm | Permalink

    They can climb on top of the Big Thundermountain Railroad ride, surviving on hardened gum and divider ropes, then gradually drop off as the Big Rock Candy Mountain soundtrack plays incessantly day and night for the rest of their lives.

  8. Andy
    Posted November 13, 2008 at 3:22 am | Permalink

    “An Ypsilanti woman accused her neighbor of casting spells on her. Police advised the neighbor stop making contact with Oster and left without making and charges or arrests.”
    http://www.ypsilanticourier.com/stories/111308/loc_20081113004.shtml
    So many unanswered questions…

  9. Andy
    Posted November 13, 2008 at 6:27 pm | Permalink

    But what is getting the most attention is a system the astronauts will install that recycles and purifies the water used on the station. It is the kind of technology that is necessary if people are going to establish long-term outposts on the Moon or Mars, but it involves what astronauts acknowledge is an “ick” factor associated with what amounts to drinking each others’ urine.

    Donald R. Pettit, one of the astronauts on this mission, said he calls the new system “the coffee maker,” because “it’s going to take yesterday’s coffee and make it into today’s coffee.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/science/space/14shuttle.html?_r=2&ref=science&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

  10. Posted November 14, 2008 at 9:05 am | Permalink

    Peter La Fleur: [after Patches hits Justin in the face with a wrench] Yeah, uh, Patches… are you sure that this is completely necessary?
    Patches O’Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
    Peter La Fleur: Probably not.
    Patches O’Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste.

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