one year for halloween…

…I freaked everyone out.

I went as a happy version of myself.

I had a name tag that said, “Friendly Mark.”

I smiled, and looked people directly in the eye.

There was lots of hugging and comfortable, easy-going small-talk.

It was terribly difficult.

I don’t know how the rest of you do it.

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21 Comments

  1. blah
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 6:05 pm | Permalink

    one year i went as someone who cared. what a stretch.

  2. Posted October 31, 2008 at 7:58 pm | Permalink

    I use moderate amounts of alcohol.

  3. Deadhand Dan
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

    I went as an alcoholic writer who married his 13-year old cousin. I had symbol of death sewn to my shoulder. That lightened the mood around here.

  4. Normal Park Kinda Guy
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    Ya know what I hate? I hate carpetbagger trick-or-treaters! You know, those folks who bus their kids into my neighborhood to trick-or-treat. Just because we’ve got the coolest bunch of over-the-top Halloween families on the west side doesn’t mean there should be an open-door policy! It’s especially aggravating when those east side bloggers bring their daughters across town for candy, creating sidewalk congestion and leaving less for the hometown crowd. You know who you are!……..

  5. Old Goat's Wife
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 9:52 pm | Permalink

    It sounds like politics, you have to make nice.

  6. Normal Park, get over it!
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

    What do you think, there is a wall or something? Are you afraid of a different demographic than usual?

  7. Normal Park Kinda Guy
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 10:23 pm | Permalink

    All right, all right! I know I have a problem, but I’m working on it. Really, I’m much better now. Mostly I just have a thing about bloggers with daughters named Clementine wandering around my neighborhood taking my candy….. :)

  8. MaryD
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 10:40 pm | Permalink

    Clementine may holy damn you…

  9. Posted October 31, 2008 at 10:48 pm | Permalink

    I live on the far east side of East Cross. I’m so far east I’m in the township. So you know how I roll. Anyways, I just put a sign on my door that read, “no more candy – try again next year.” Both the people who knocked on my door seemed to be totally pissed off. My daughter had fun trick or treating in Ann Arbor. Next year though, I’m going to hand out multi-packs of candy. It’s like the farther east you go in Ypsi, better the candy you will find. I’m totally serious too. Don’t sleep on East Cross next year.

  10. Posted October 31, 2008 at 10:50 pm | Permalink

    West-side bitches.

  11. Posted October 31, 2008 at 10:56 pm | Permalink

    :) jk – I’m a jk’er for Halloween.

  12. Posted November 1, 2008 at 12:20 am | Permalink

    what’s with everyone in Ypsi leaving porch lights on AND having sweet pumpkins but NOT having candy?

    Don’t they know the Universal rules of Halloween?

  13. ChelseaL
    Posted November 1, 2008 at 4:25 am | Permalink

    “We” do it the same way you do, Mark. Honest.

    Happy Halloween.

  14. mark
    Posted November 1, 2008 at 10:07 am | Permalink

    I’ve heard reports from all over the United States that Clementine and I were on people’s doorsteps, begging for handouts. As best I can figure, it was just coincidence that a number of people chose to go as “bloated blogger and charming daughter.” There was, as far as I know, no coordinate effort, as there was this year with folks going as “Joe the plumber.” (He was selling franchises.)

    As for the real Mark and Clementine, we were hiding in the basement, praying, like we do every year on Satan’s holiday.

  15. Brackache
    Posted November 1, 2008 at 3:59 pm | Permalink

    Christmas and Easter are both based on preChristian pagan revelries, I fail to see why the most sacred holiday of the year (Halloween) gets the American Evangelical shaft.

    I hear there’s a Halloween II day in some other countries called St. George’s Day that happens in the spring. We should do that one too before the Halloween stores catch on, thereby taking full advantage of post-Halloween discounts.

  16. Brackache
    Posted November 1, 2008 at 4:04 pm | Permalink

    Nevermind. I just looked up St. George’s Day and it seems pretty boring.

  17. Posted November 2, 2008 at 1:33 pm | Permalink

    @bee: I’m with you. The people across the street from us set out their jack-o-lanternS, not just one or two, but fully THIRTEEN, lit them all, and then left to go trick-or-treating with their two children. All night, people kept knocking on their door. I was hoping someone would “trick” them, but no one did. Has the “trick” been forgotten also?! Porchlight + Jack-o-lantern = should have candy!

  18. mark
    Posted November 2, 2008 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

    While trick or treating with Clementine, we met a man and a woman walking around with a bag of candy, handing it out. When asked, the explained that they live in a neighborhood with trick or treaters, so they decided to get candy and head out to where the people were. I thought that was really cool. We’ve never had a trick or treater where we live, but it had never crossed my mind to go and set up shop somewhere else… like set up on the stoop in front of a boarded up house or something. That would actually be pretty cool.

  19. Posted November 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm | Permalink

    I can dig it. I wonder what an unperturbed version of myself would be like. Scary probably.

  20. Paw
    Posted November 3, 2008 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    I dressed my son as McCain’s small, withered soul.

  21. PDC
    Posted October 28, 2011 at 7:57 pm | Permalink

    Fucking brilliant!!!

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