totally quotable clementine: august 2008 edition

I know the month’s not over yet, but I’m confident that this is going to be her best quote of August. She came close to topping it once. At the beginning of the month, she used “I’m bored” for the first time – which was really sweet – but I think this is better. It’s slightly more heart-crushing. I forget the context. I must have said, “Come on, baby girl, let’s go get ice cream,” or something like that. And she just responded with, “I’m not your baby anymore.” It wasn’t, “I’m not a baby anymore.” If it were, I think, “I’m bored” would have won. It was, “I’m not your baby anymore.” That’s what made it genius, and broke my fat-covered, grey, cannon ball-sized heart into blubbery little globs.

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  1. elviscostello
    Posted August 24, 2008 at 9:20 pm | Permalink

    The heartbreak just rolls on…Wait until you see your child drive away from your home, on their own, the first time. I cried like a baby (after he left and couldn’t see me).

  2. mark
    Posted August 24, 2008 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    Yeah, I know they’re going to keep coming, like waves crashing on a pathetic, old, un-cool beach that no one wants around.

    Oh, and I shouldn’t have been so quick to give the August award for best quote. Just today she informed me that pigs are made out of bacon.

  3. Ol' E Cross
    Posted August 24, 2008 at 11:28 pm | Permalink

    One has to wonder why all the cutest Clementine moments are the ones where she’s totally pissing on you.

    I suppose for those of us enamored with suffering, children are the perfect balm.

    My own approximately aged girl, a week or so ago, said, “Everybody dies a little everyday.”

    I’ve never been prouder.

  4. Dr. Cherry
    Posted August 25, 2008 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    “Children sharpen their teeth on the bones of their parents” — Norse proverb

  5. Paw
    Posted August 25, 2008 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

    Children know how to skewer their daddy’s hearts. I still can recall quite plainly the time I overheard my five year old daughter refer to me as a “cuckold panty waste”.

  6. Posted August 25, 2008 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

    (God he’s weird.)

    My daughter when age four felt the souls of the dead in the wind. Really. It was kind of a spooky, yet deeply cool moment.

  7. Posted August 25, 2008 at 6:36 pm | Permalink

    Yep Mark, it’s these American kids. I told you that you should have mail ordered yours from a country where the kids aren’t all uppity.

  8. Robert
    Posted August 25, 2008 at 6:38 pm | Permalink

    hahaha, damn! I was caught! I meant to put the “resident Libertarian” in the “name” entry, not the “Site/Url” part. Now everyone knows it was me! Brachache is gonna kill me.

  9. Brackache
    Posted August 25, 2008 at 9:02 pm | Permalink

    Well, Robert, that’s ONE free market solution. Two more are:

    1) make her cut you a switch.

    2) blog about it.

    Really you could do both.

    I was a little concerned at how eager she is to sever her paternal ties to you though, and have alerted social services to come send some strong, armed men over to your house to make everyone happy again. They usually come at about four in the morning, so you might want to set the coffee timer a bit early, as they might be cranky.

  10. Tracy
    Posted August 26, 2008 at 2:51 pm | Permalink

    Ava has started asking practically any male visitor that comes to our home if they have a penis. Our friend Steve says that it’s made worse by the fact that she points when she says it. However, she did tell me last night that she is still the baby (not Wyatt, her 11 mo. old brother!).

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