do you have what it takes to be the next larry fortensky?

Not only is Drew Barrymore in Ypsi, but, according to my sources inside “US” magazine, she’s newly single.

One hopes that this doesn’t complicate life in in our naive little town tremendously.

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  1. mark
    Posted July 13, 2008 at 9:41 pm | Permalink

    Larry Fortensky, for those of you who don’t get the reference, is the “regular Joe” who married Elizabeth Taylor after meeting her in rehab… To my knowledge, it is the last time an immortal from Mt. Hollywood came down took a human mate.

  2. Sanford Man
    Posted July 13, 2008 at 9:54 pm | Permalink

    I envision cat fights on Michigan Avenue as good men are seduced and families are torn apart.

  3. Reclusion
    Posted July 13, 2008 at 10:34 pm | Permalink

    I imagine a bachelor Ypsilanti competiton.

  4. Reclusion
    Posted July 13, 2008 at 10:35 pm | Permalink

    Nice rack

  5. Tamm
    Posted July 13, 2008 at 10:58 pm | Permalink

    I am seduction-proof!

    Just try something, Ms. Barrymore. I dare you.

  6. Tamm
    Posted July 13, 2008 at 10:59 pm | Permalink

    And like Fortensky, I am an alcoholic.

  7. elviscostello
    Posted July 14, 2008 at 11:11 am | Permalink

    Yes, I’d like to be Drew’s larry Fortensky, I know I’d be better than that lunatic Tom Green, but Mrs. Costello would not be pleased…

  8. Gretchen
    Posted July 14, 2008 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    Do any of our young married men have what it takes to hear the Sirens’ call and not pursue it? Doubtful.

  9. Steph
    Posted July 14, 2008 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    It does happen. Brook Shields is married to a sitcom writer. They made a series out of it called I’m With Her.'m_with_Her

  10. Ol' E Cross
    Posted July 14, 2008 at 12:36 pm | Permalink

    I think I’ve got a pretty good shot. A lot people tell me I have an uncanny resemblance to the object of Barrymore’s first crush.

  11. Caspian
    Posted July 14, 2008 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

    If she wants to get with me, she better do it quick. I have a feeling that once I see what she’s done with Confederacy of Dunces that I might not be that into her.

  12. Brackache
    Posted July 14, 2008 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

    Do you have to have a mohawk or a bald head?

  13. Vera
    Posted July 14, 2008 at 7:24 pm | Permalink

    How soon we forget Southgate’s own, Julie Champnella and her brush with said immortals.

  14. Posted July 14, 2008 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

    I think Denise Bixler, former wife of Steve Guttenberg, is from Plymouth, isn’t she?

  15. mark
    Posted July 15, 2008 at 12:57 am | Permalink

    Is this Steve Guttenberg you speak of a celebrity, Robert?

    And, yeah, I’d forgotten about that woman who married Tom Arnold. Good catch, Vera.

  16. mark
    Posted July 15, 2008 at 1:01 am | Permalink

    …For those of you keeping track, that was my strangest comment ever… When I suggest that Steve Guttenberg isn’t a celebrity, but that Tom Arnold is, someone needs to revoke my blogging privileges.

  17. Christina
    Posted July 15, 2008 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    She’ll makeout with a few of you before she leaves town, don’t worry. Then she’ll get back together with Justin Long when she’s done filming.

  18. Dr. Craw
    Posted July 15, 2008 at 3:11 pm | Permalink

    Will she be using, Christina? Does she find male chest flab sexy? Does she have any rules about biting? How about poetry? Does she like poetry? Does she love animals? Just tell me what kind of animal she likes the best and I’ll send her one. I live below one of our county’s best taxidermy shops and I can send her a whole box of pelts. All she has to do is give the word.

  19. Meta wouldn't read the Enquirer
    Posted July 24, 2008 at 3:58 pm | Permalink

    It was her drinking:

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