the backup

My great grandmother and great grandfather both slept with loaded pistols under their pillows. I remember finding the one under my great grandmother’s pillow when I was a kid, visiting their farm in Kentucky. Somehow, that doesn’t make this product any less weird. I’d like to think that it’s a joke, but sadly I don’t think it is. If it were, I think there would have been a really kick-ass dramatic reenactment.

[Thanks to media scout Thoreau for turning this up.]

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  1. dmcbass
    Posted May 6, 2008 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    Hey, I wonder if they make that in a model that would hold MY favorite beside buddy?

    Now that’s something you need to be able to reach in short notice.


  2. Brackache
    Posted May 6, 2008 at 11:20 pm | Permalink

    Both sides of the bed! On the one hand, that’s great that both parties involved in the marriage aren’t gun-o-phobes, but on the other hand, you have to marry a lefty. Ew.

    I don’t see why you don’t just put it under the bed like a normal person and save $40 to spend on emergency silver or a gasmask. Lazy snobs with their super-high beds and short arms…

  3. Paw
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 10:03 am | Permalink

    I have one of these and I find it very useful. I sleep with my cock in it. It’s nice, for a change, not to wake up all tangled up in it.

  4. Pam Paw
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

    Waking up all tangled in Paw’s cock was a lot like this. It destroyed our marriage. If we’d had “the backup” twenty years ago, we might still be together.

  5. Steve from Romulus
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 2:54 pm | Permalink

    My penis has been likened to a hydra. I’m not sure what that means. I think it has something to do with the fact that it’s kind of split at the end and, from certain angles, if the lighting is right, looks as though it has multiple writhing heads. They’ve yet to made a bedside bracket that can hold it.

  6. Brackache
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for the heads-up Steve. Now we know to bring scissors AND a torch.

  7. dan from austin
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 6:34 pm | Permalink

    I saw this today and though that the Back-up better advertise in it!

  8. Posted May 7, 2008 at 8:46 pm | Permalink

    I stopped keeping a loaded weapon, or for that matter, an unloaded one in my bedroom after I got all the trip wires around the perimeter of my house set up. I do keep gas masks in all our bedrooms for when the house alarm goes off because it not only announces a house invader but also the automatic dispersal of tear gas in the common areas of my house. The home survival kit is rounded out with rubber boots and gloves because all the door knobs are by that time electrified.

  9. Posted May 7, 2008 at 8:55 pm | Permalink

    My sidewalk is also booby-trapped, so listen up townshipers.

  10. Brackache
    Posted May 8, 2008 at 12:26 am | Permalink

    Those seem to be pretty sensible home defense measures, John. Me and the missus just wear our home/personal defense suicide vests 24/7. Just common-sensical stuff that anyone can do to make themselves feel more secure at home or away.

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