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three views of a gorilla mask
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And no conversation about gorilla masks would be complete without this.
Ypsilanti needs a mascot/icon/monster of fame. Something that will draw tourism from near and far abroad. Something on the scale of Loch Ness Monster. [credit to my wife for this idea]
Aligators/Crocodiles in Riverside Park is a good start; but, just not good enough. Mark’s pink eye picture came close; but, still not enough. Severed Unicorn Heads are a start; but not quite legendary or mysterious enough. I mean, in this day and age, a severed unicorn head is just to common place.
A chicken escapee from the proposed Ypsi chicken slaughter house…the one who REFUSED TO DIE. Angry, vengeful and out of control, this bad ass bird runs the streets of ypsi with an axe jiggling in the top of its head, a noose dangling from it’s neck gun shot wounds in it’s chest. The crazed look in its beady eyes are frightening enough, but the BEAK! Why…is..the beak covered in…BLOOD? Zombie chicken?
I’m quite serious when I report that one local band of note is working on a new song about an evil chicken, based on a true story.
If I reveal anymore, I’ll be killed in a cock fight with the bandmaster. But, if want to raise crazed chickens as our banner, we may soon have an anthem.
Wouldn’t it be a cooler song if it were a different story every time [the performers] play it, but with the same music and chorus and always about the same chicken? Like a series of songs… that ALL SOUND THE SAME? Patent Pending.
While walking my dog along the riverbank in Riverside park, a giant muskrat stalked us from the little rapids behind the VW dealership all the way up to the decking at the top of the park.
It was just a shadow in the depths most of the way, but I didn’t have any idea know huge he really was until he surfaced as Kongo leaned into the water to get a drink.
Even Kongo was startled. He was eight or ten feet away, treading water, glaring. It was when he dove into the dark deep of the river that I could see his entire length! Awesome!
I vote that we make the giant muskrat our mascot … and call him Ypsikrat … since he’s probably half muskrat and half Democrat being that large and fierce.
Kongo’s been hunting along the banks ever since. I just hope folks in Wyandotte don’t get wind of this and try to make a bar-b-que out of our very own monster critter.
Ooops! Just got a phone call. Fischer Honda. Boy was that guy mad. Tell ya’ … I’m not too good at those foreign cars and such. All the same to me.
I know what I saw in that river though. Don’t take my word alone. Ask Kongo. Watch him during his walk tomorrow. He’ll go right to the riverbank to look for that critter.
Anyhow, Honda, Schmonda. I drive Fords.
If you have this gorilla mask in your possession may I borrow it? I’m currently working on a video project that I think it would be perfect for.
I’ll have it drycleaned for you afterward if that’s an issue.
Musypsikrat. Just how large was it, Ed? I saw a shadow down in the water that I thought might have been as big as a small orca. No dorsal fin though. Mighty have been Kongo’s prey.
Ford is a good drive!
I heard Gorillas have small dicks.
Gorilla gals say their men are a “good drive.”
Ain’t size, it’s how many bananas and termites on a twig can you profer those gals.
Like I told Stan, ice works best.
We desperately need a site like this one in Romulus. Any chance you might franchise? I’ve been thinking about buying into a Quiznos but my mind could be changed.
Did you hear the news about the threatening grafitti at Oakland University?
“I will eat you all!” signed “Ykrat” … OMG!
He’s everywhere! He’s everywhere!
He’s a monster!
Stan, you got any spare ice to cool this guy off?! Hurry!
Go for it, Stan. Love to have you.
Foot longs ONLY!
How ’bout … FEET’R’US … ?
Your meat will never enter my mouth, Mr. Swan. Not even in a Quiznos.
Just because, I can, too.
I see that, and raise you, JBK.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
don’t you still have The Smeet?
We ate it during Y2K, when food became scarce. It was delicious.
Romulus does have a website. See http://www.metroairport.com
This should have been added to the thread long ago. Sorry I was deliquent; haven’t seen this in years and unfortunately it slipped my mind (this sketch should never slip my mind):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Uw03hS_EMY
Didn’t you tell us something about gorilla masks the other day, Mr. Maynard?
This was your finest post ever.
(This is an insult.)
A very interesting post.
I still think this is a very interesting post.