on the bus today

I’m not one to pick on public transportation. I like it. I like that it exists. I like that it’s affordable. I like that it conserves energy. I use it. But today I had a bad experience. I was wedged between two very large people. That, in itself, may not have been too terribly awful, but the guy on my left couldn’t stop picking at an open sore on his face, and the woman on my right smelled strongly of rancid cooking oil and sickly sweet honeysuckle-scented candles. I could go on and on, adding a lot more detail about the sores and the aroma, but I think you probably get the point. And, I’m afraid that if I say much more, you may not want to participate in next month’s Curb Your Car activities.

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  1. CKL
    Posted April 16, 2008 at 6:42 am | Permalink

    Mark: I’m afraid I already swore off public transportation long ago. Sorry.

  2. Ken
    Posted April 16, 2008 at 7:31 am | Permalink

    You’re an elitist.

  3. Paw
    Posted April 16, 2008 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    You should have offered to help him pick at his sore.

  4. Paw
    Posted April 16, 2008 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    Hillary would have.

  5. Ol' E Cross
    Posted April 16, 2008 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    Those poor folks Mark squeezed between. Probably just too polite to move. I have the same reactions they did. Whenever I’m around him, I find myself compulsively trying to scratch my face off. My body also spontaneously releases a protective stench in an attempt to ward him off. Mark, I’m just glad you got off before your presence made them vomit uncontrollably.

    Some folks just shouldn’t be allowed on the bus.

  6. Kay Sarah
    Posted April 16, 2008 at 12:53 pm | Permalink

    I was standing in line at the gas station once when the man in front of me practically farted in my face. The woman behind was hacking and coughing and I feel her phlegm spraying on the back of my neck.

    Now, I only go to full service and slip my money out through a barely cracked window.

    Don’t get me started about airlines, movie theaters, concerts, public parks and the like…

  7. schutzman
    Posted April 23, 2008 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    when i was little, i went to an amusement park and as i was getting off one of the rides, another kid behind me vomited all over my back.

    thus, from that moment forward, i have sworn off ever doing anything fun whatsoever.

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