…has to be when, at long last, the accumulated snow and ice of winter melts away, revealing the tiny sprouts of tulips and evidence of a resilient and robust local drug trade in my front yard.
Yes, I’ve got a truly wondrous collection of crack baggies in my pocket and spring is in the air!
15 Comments
Mark,
I’ll trade you three “preconditioned” condoms for a half-dozen of your plastic baggies.
Reduce, reuse, recycle!
Nothing you guys found this year beats the syringes I collected when I lived next to the car wash next to the RAC.
And I ask … just how does Mark know that these are crack baggies? Hmmmm?
The trash behind the RAC and down into Riverside Park could be the basis for an entire episode of The Wire.
EgP, I also found three severed fingers, a few dozen fake fingernails, two eyeballs (different colors), one tit, one ball, twelve teeth and the top half of a foreskin. I just ain’t trading any those gems to nobody. Although, I may swap you my testicle billiards set for one of your syringe hammocks…to be fair, my balls roll to the right but I understand your hammocks swing to the left. Deal?
I’ve got a uterus.
I love Ypsi. I mean it. Seriously. Where else can you find a uterus just laying around in the open.
I didn’t find it. I was born with it. I thought my comment was pretty clear.
Yeah, mark — how do you know that some innocent bead worker didn’t just drop all her sorting bags when she pulled her keys out of her pocket?! Jeez. And the same with the uterus, fer chrissakes.
I want to know how to distinguish the top half of a foreskin from the bottom half.
Wait, I take that back, I don’t think I have a need whatsoever to know that.
I love it. One post about marketing Ypsi through cool stuff like the SAF, another about finding crack bags in your front yard.
That just about sums up Ypsilanti right there.
Yeah, Cousins. I was wondering if someone would put those two posts together. It’s the yin and yang of Ypsi.
And, Ed, I have found hypodermic needles in my yard. They were actually in my garden, and somewhere on this site there’s a post with with photos.
And, Lisele, I’d like to buy into your vision of the innocent bead worker, but I’ve been finding these little baggies in my yard pretty consistently over the past half dozen years. I suppose it’s possible that there’s a spastic bead worker up the street who keeps dropping them, but I find it unlikely. Of course, if we ever decide to sell the house, that’s exactly what I’ll tell people. I may even hire an adorable young actress to play the part.
And it’s easy to tell the top half of the foreskin. It’s tan.
yours flops differently than mine when you lay out in the sun, Mark, and if I’m not careful to turn it regularly, then red is the color, not tan.
Mark – you should sell those at the next SAF. Maybe as unicorn feed sacks.
I’d never thought to turn mine on a rotisserie. Sounds like good advice.
And, yes, Molly. They would make lovely unicorn snack baggies. I could fill them with multi-colored sprinkles.
I found a joint at Prospect Park. At least I think it was a joint. Did anyone lose one?
this afternoon i’m engaging in a bit of gonzo grant writing with the assistance of nicotine gum, coffee, diet pepsi, coke zero and a box of thin mints. now i’m curious what wonders i might find in my yard!