mark’s tummy

I’ve spent a good portion of today on the toilet.

I wanted to go out and watch the primary returns tonight with some friends, but, as there was a high probability that I’d end up shitting myself, I stayed home.

As a rule, I don’t go anywhere if there’s more than an 8% chance of my shitting myself.

There are exceptions; most notable are German festivals and all-you-can-eat buffets.

Speaking of the returns, it looks like Obama might be winning Texas. I guess Hillary’s fear mongering didn’t pay off. (It also doesn’t help, I guess, when you make the people in the press covering your campaign file their stories from tables next to urinals.)

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  1. Posted March 4, 2008 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    Okay, I was eating pizza when I read “high probability that I’d end up shitting myself”, and I almost chocked :D

    Hope you feel better.

  2. Meta
    Posted March 5, 2008 at 10:38 am | Permalink

    Somehow she won Texas and Ohio:

  3. Brent
    Posted March 5, 2008 at 3:38 pm | Permalink

    I know I can’t be the only one wondering this, but I wonder just how much of her vistory was Democratic support and how much is Republican tinkering by jumping party lines and voting for her in hopes she will be the nominee for the dems.

    But then again, maybe Clinton’s (whether direct from her campaign or through surrogates) fear mongering worked. Despite my best efforts, my own mother has fell hook line and sinker for the “is Obama really a Christian, do we really want a Muslim running America?” line of crap. Sigh.

  4. Edwards Fan
    Posted March 5, 2008 at 3:46 pm | Permalink

    Hillary’s plan – to make him “blacker” – has worked.

  5. CheyneyDick
    Posted March 5, 2008 at 3:57 pm | Permalink

    I think Hillary will probably be the Democratic nominee. She should win Pennsylvania by 8-10 points. It’s Ohio only worse: Rendell, old people, racists in Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, machines in Phil Pitts Scranton, white Unions, white gun nuts, and ethic catholics. So Obama won small states early and H won big states late. Every delegate not nailed down will be pressured to go H.

    Q: Will Michigan get some sort of re-do? We should as we are a key state that could go R in the general election — unlike say Tx which there is now way a D wins there in the fall. Same goes for Florida, will they get a re-do?

  6. Paw
    Posted March 5, 2008 at 4:33 pm | Permalink

    I shit 8% of my pants watching the returns last night.

    [As I own 50 pairs of pants, that means I shat 4 of them.]

  7. mark
    Posted March 5, 2008 at 10:52 pm | Permalink

    Obama’s campaign manager puts yesterday in perspective:

    Our projections show the most likely outcome of yesterday’s elections will be that Hillary Clinton gained 187 delegates, and we gained 183.
    That’s a net gain of 4 delegates out of more than 370 delegates available from all the states that voted.

    For comparison, that’s less than half our net gain of 9 delegates from the District of Columbia alone. It’s also less than our net gain of 8 from Nebraska, or 12 from Washington State. And it’s considerably less than our net gain of 33 delegates from Georgia.

    The task for the Clinton campaign yesterday was clear. In order to have a plausible path to the nomination, they needed to score huge delegate victories and cut into our lead.

    They failed.

    It’s clear, though, that Senator Clinton wants to continue an increasingly desperate, increasingly negative — and increasingly expensive — campaign to tear us down…

  8. John on Forest
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    I’d seriously consider whether the German festival or all-you-can-eat buffet was the cause of your lower intestinal distress.

  9. Terry
    Posted March 7, 2008 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    I’d just like to point out that Obama has won more Texas delegates than Clinton and will win more as caucus results keep coming in. It’s a crazy system but I think if Obama has the most delegates then he’s the real winner in Texas.

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