bush, robbed of his chance to serve

Addressing American troops serving in Afghanistan yesterday via video conference, our fearless Commander-In-Chief had the following to say.

“I must say, I’m a little envious. If I were slightly younger and not employed here, I think it would be a fantastic experience to be on the front lines of helping this young democracy succeed.”

That’s right — he’s envious of the men and women serving on the front lines. He wishes that he had an opportunity to risk his life for his country. If only, as he said, he were younger.

“But, wait,” you’re probably asking yourself, “wasn’t Bush of age to have served in Vietnam?” The answer is yes. He was old enough. And, I’ve been told, he wanted desperately to go. It’s really a quite tragic story. He tried feverishly to pull strings to get into battle, but it was in vain. No, not even the fact that he was a wealthy Congressman’s son could help him. Despite his protestations, he was forced into a cushy position with Texas Air National Guard. It must have eaten at him like a cancer, knowing that other men were out there on the battlefield, fighting to bring democracy to another nation, while he was forced to stay thousands of miles from the “fantastic experience.” No, while several hundred American men were earning the privilege to die in the scorching hot jungles of Southeast Asia each week, he was stuck with a group of coke snorting, tail chasing flyboys calling themselves “the Champaign squadron.” It must have been hell for the civic-minded young idealist. It’s really no surprise, in my opinion, that he disappeared for all of 1972, not showing up for a single National Guard drill. He was no doubt trying to get smuggled into Vietnam on his own. Who could blame him?

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  1. Mark H.
    Posted March 15, 2008 at 12:51 am | Permalink

    yes, if George W. hadn’t been so busy making use of his daddy’s many connections to ensure he was far from harm’s way, then he might have, when he was young, served in Vietnam. Maybe he’d have learned what an ill advised foreign war looked like as a young man, and not started one as an old man.

  2. mark
    Posted March 15, 2008 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    It pisses me of that people let him get away with stuff like this – saying that he’s envious of the men and women risking their lives – when, in his own life, he did everything in his power to avoid service. I don’t know how that man can look Vietnam vets in the eye.

  3. Posted March 16, 2008 at 5:41 pm | Permalink

    He doesn’t look them in the eye, Mark. He pisses down their collective leg and tells them it’s raining. It’s what he’s always done.

  4. Ol' E Cross
    Posted March 17, 2008 at 12:42 am | Permalink

    Seems to me, while Bush was patrolling the skies in the Air National Guard there wasn’t a single, successful foreign attack on Texas while all hell was breaking loose and the regular Army was losing the war in Vietnam.

    Don’t you think it’s about time we congratulated Bush and his bubbly battalion for a job well done?

  5. mark
    Posted March 17, 2008 at 7:45 am | Permalink

    And my town wasn’t attacked on 911. Where’s my medal?

    As for Bush patrolling Texas skies, I don’t think there was much of that. As I understand it, he didn’t show for a single drill during the year of 1972. No one on the base knew where he was. They just knew that he was a Congressman’s son, and that they shouldn’t question it. So, if we kept the Vietcong out of Texas airspace, it wasn’t his doing.

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