ok, so you don’t like my ideas – let’s hear yours

I’m home sick with a cold. I should be on my way up to bed, but instead I’m sitting here, catching up on my hate mail. Here’s the latest:

mark you suck. you and your liberal friends need to go to Ann Arbor and enjoy you silly ideas there. I saw your comments about ypsi needing a gay bar and an indian restaurant and believe that’s totally stupid. Ypsi may not be great the way it is due to the dead beats, but your idea’s are not the answer.

I don’t know that I ever claimed to have “the answers.” I just like gay people and Indian food. And I think Ypsi would be better with more of both. That’s just my opinion, though. My sense is that you’re not open to compromise, but I’m willing to negotiate. How about one bi-curious man of ambiguous origin to sell samosas along Michigan Avenue to people in their cars the way that scantily clad Taiwanese women sell betel nuts?

Seriously, though, I wasn’t suggesting that either a gay bar or an Indian restaurant would somehow “fix” Ypsi. I just think that both are examples of things that would accentuate what it is that’s already good about this community. With small, independently-owned restaurants being priced out of the Ann Arbor market, I think there’s a huge opportunity for Ypsilanti. We’ve got great places like Pita Pita, Dos Hermanos, Dalat and La Fiesta — why not look to corner the market on decently-priced, authentic ethnic food? I’m sure there are other holes in the portfolio, but the most obvious one to me seems like Indian food. And, as for the gay bar idea, it’s just common sense. Gay people have traditionally been risk takers when it comes to buying residential real estate in communities on the cusp. They typically don’t worry about school systems, they generally appreciate historic homes, and it’s been my experience that they’re more willing to invest their money and their time than most. I already think that our City is gay and lesbian friendly. (Our citizens, as you’ll recall, voted down the Tom Monaghan-funded initiative to legalize sexual orientation-based discrimination twice.) I wasn’t saying that the City should invest its money in building a gay sex club. I was just suggesting that we should be receptive if someone comes to us looking to open something like Ann Arbor’s Aut Bar. So, there, for what it’s worth, is my reasoning on those two points.

Anyone else have a problem with something I’ve said? Feel free to leave an anonymous comment. Now’s your chance to gang up on me.

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  1. Posted February 18, 2008 at 9:36 pm | Permalink

    Is the Red Sea Indian or Ethiopian?
    As far as the gay bar thing, head over to Club Divine on Sunday nights, which tends to transition over to the karaoke happening at the same time in Pub 13.
    That karaoke night used to be rather regular for my friends and I, it’s a fun time.

  2. mark
    Posted February 18, 2008 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    The Red Sea is Ethiopian. I’ve been there twice. The first time wasn’t so good. The second time was pretty good, but still nowhere near as good as the Blue Nile in Ann Arbor. It’s probably time to give them another shot.

    I’ve never been in Club Divine. From what I understand, though, they sell more liquor than anyplace in Washtenaw County.

  3. egpenet
    Posted February 18, 2008 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    The Red Sea Restaurant is Ethiopian, ala Blue Nile. Like to see Red Sea come downtown. The more ethnic foods the better! I miss L’Amour on N. Huron … so Lebanese/French, so damn tasty … but, ah, so inconsistent and so undercapitalized.

  4. EL
    Posted February 18, 2008 at 9:51 pm | Permalink


    I have a problem with you showing up in my dreams. Two or three nights ago (I think it was probably Saturday night) I woke up with this strange notion that you and your significant other had appeared at some point in my dream, but for the life of me I couldn’t recall in what context. And that pisses me off.

    The past week I’ve had a dream that I was transitioning from a Chinese road-slash-drawbridge onto the Great Wall when the Chinese military drained the water beneath the bridge and pulled the bridge away and began executing anyone who tried to run back to the other side. I was in a quandry because I was trapped with a bunch of French nationals on the Wall side with no way to get back. I had no insulin. I was certain I would die. But if I went back over, I’d die too, because by this point in the dream they were setting on fire those of us trying to get back across.

    See, I remember that.

    I also remember Sunday night’s dream in which I witnessed a nuclear blast that took out half of some unnamed city, leaving only one block of academic buildings standing. A several-cityblock-long conveyer of stale food (pizza, pasta, sticky buns, etc.) moved through the city and those who’d survived the blast were picking through the dregs of this food for some kind of sustenance. These were the rectanglesque school-lunch pizzas, wet and soppy from nuclear fallout. Several friends and I took some pizza into the second-floor lounge of one of the academic buildings to eat, but there was a faculty meeting taking place and we had to leave.

    And yet I can’t remember in what permutation you were in my dream over these past few days. I’ve tried to connect it to you and Linette as action figures. Yet it ain’t rung no bells or whatnot.

    Although I do remember, damn you, that a month or so ago I had a dream in which I was supposed to babysit Clementine, but I wanted to watch football. I think you and Linette were in your backyard, and I think something was going on that was causing the letters of the alphabet to antrhopomorphize, and the letter M was laying on the ground in your backyard doing some kind of leg kicks.

    But the whole thing goes stale b/c then you go and show up in another dream and I can’t remember it. That really just ticks me off. Really. You suck. If you could be more memorable, then maybe this wouldn’t happen. You’re kind of a dick in that way, you know?

  5. Anonymous
    Posted February 18, 2008 at 10:01 pm | Permalink

    Ever since what I’ve become to think of as “The Terrible Goatse Incident of Aught 7,” I have become petrified at the thought of clicking links on the internet. Every time I place my cursor over a link I have horrifying flashbacks. Thanks a lot, Mark Maynard!

  6. egpenet
    Posted February 18, 2008 at 10:11 pm | Permalink

    I think EL and Anon had some day old Mulligatawny … too much curry … bad dreams … anger. Some cooling coconut milk … but no nutmeg! Or, could be the full moon.

  7. Tolz Toy
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 12:23 am | Permalink

    So it’s okay to be gay or an immigrant as long as you produce for the local economy but it’s not okay to be whatever if you don’t?

    But of course. The true value of a human being is measured in what one produces for the economy, what attracts investment, what resurges home values.

    Yes, purveyors of palatable cuisine, we welcome you. One-legged hookers and Haitian encyclopedia salesman, please head east, to the island of misfit toys, where your organs will be harvested and retailed in our resurgent markets.

  8. BrianR
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    SHE-Bang happens every Wednesday night at TC’s. The next big show there is March 12th when Rebekah Riot plays.

    As far as Indian food goes, Temptations is already in Ypsilanti and is the best around.

  9. Robert
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 10:38 am | Permalink

    I think Ypsilanti should look at hosting an annual “straight shame parade.”

  10. Posted February 19, 2008 at 10:41 am | Permalink

    “As far as Indian food goes, Temptations is already in Ypsilanti and is the best around.”

    Um… that place got an 8 on their health inspection (8 critical violations) a year or so ago. Anything above a 4 and I don’t go back. Ever. Especially when there are larva involved.

    BTW I hate that you had the Severed Unicorn Head idea before me. I love you otherwise. So there.

  11. Turned from Temptations
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    My wife and I used to love Temptations. But the service ended up becoming so poor that we had to swear it off. We liked the food, but the last time we were there, I saw one of the waiters, when the kitchen door opened, picking his nose at one point, and then again later during our meal digging in his ear (and not ten seconds later carrying out the tray).

    Yeah, I know that what goes on in kitchens is something I don’t wanna know, but I also know that when I actually SEE it, it’s a whole different story. Couple that with horrendous service, and we’ll go elsewhere.

  12. Alarmist
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    Brian Robb wants us to eat spicy boogers!

  13. Hillary
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 1:24 pm | Permalink


  14. Mark H.
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    I think the Rea Sea is actually Eritrean food; but nearly all Eritrean restaurants in the US call themselves Ethiopian, since few Americans ever heard of Eritrea, and the larger country for ages included the smaller (but now, after long struggle, they are separated). i like the Rea Sea’s food.

  15. mark
    Posted February 19, 2008 at 8:27 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for the booger sightings, the clarification on Eritrean food, and the useful information on Indian eunuchs.

    This, if anyone is curious, is why I love having a blog.

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