i wish they’d hurry up and get here

I just received an urgent message from the American Family Association. They wanted me to know how “homosexual activists took control of the city government in a small Christian resort community, and how they plan to do the same in other small towns.” Fortunately for us they’re selling a video, which I’m assuming shows us how to repel them from our cities (perhaps with a perimeter of Kid Rock posters and monster truck baricades), and how to fight them once they’ve broken through our defenses. The video is called, “They’re Coming to Your Town.” Here’s a clip from the ad:

…AFA has just released a new DVD, “They’re Coming To Your Town.” The DVD shows how a small group of homosexual activists took over the city council in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and began imposing their homosexual agenda on that community.

For 40 years Eureka Springs has been known as a resort town for Christians. Their Passion Play has been attended by hundreds of thousands of Christians. But the activists are now in the process of turning Eureka Springs into a haven for homosexuals.

“They’re Coming To Your Town” shows how, using deceitfulness and lies, homosexuals maneuvered themselves into positions of power and then used those positions to promote their agenda.

“They’re Coming To Your Town” is an eye-opener to those who are not familiar with how homosexuals use the system to attain their goals. It is a 28-minute DVD, making it perfect for viewing during Sunday School.

I urge you to order the DVD, watch it, then share it with members of your church. Give a copy to your pastor. Click here to view the trailer…

I’m sure it’s a huge seller for them, right up there with, “That Jew Down the Street Wants to Sell Your Daughter into White Slavery,” and “Why do Black People Want to Get to the Front of the Bus So Bad – What do They Have Planned?”

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  1. Brent
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    Yes, please hurry, do something before more gays come to Ypsilanti! Look what has already happened in Saugatuck/Douglas. We wouldn’t want anything like that to happen here would we?

    The news clip is right thought. Us gays are trying to push our agenda on you. My agenda involves saving historic properties, supporting local business, picking up trash on walks with my dog, and helping out neighbors when I can. Dangerous stuff. Protect your children.

  2. Brent
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 9:54 am | Permalink

    My favorite part of their video thus far (which I will be purchasing and having a good laugh at with friends – maybe we should schedule a Ypsi viewing for laughs!) has to be the graphic which depicts a supposed small town main street with a giant pride flag in the background. The buildings are actually not from an American small town but are from Amsterdam. I’ll let you drawn your own humorous comments from that little observation.

  3. Pid
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    In all seriousness, how can we make ourselves more attractive to these gay invaders? I have flowers and chocolates ready.

  4. Brent
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 11:54 am | Permalink

    I’m not sure, I can only speak to my case, but here is what drew me to Ypsi two years ago.

    1. Large housing stock of affordable historic properites (many of which can be profitable investments with sweat equity)
    2. EMU, and more specifically the Historic Preservation program there
    3. A general treatment of homosexuality as a complete non-issue within the community
    4. Locationally convenient to A2, Detroit and Toledo (all places I need easy access to)
    5. A large number of local businesses (not overrun by chains)
    6. Walkability to those local businesses

  5. mike d
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

    This sort of rubbish is about as unhelpful as the equally nonsensical paranoia that “the theocons are coming”.

    For the American Family Association every influx of homosexuals comes packing some sort of anti-family agenda. For those on the other end of the spectrum any views to the right of their own religious perspective entail authoritarian theocratic domination.

  6. Scared
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

    I found this warning to be extremely helpful. After reading it, I stocked up on groceries and pulled both of my children out of school. We are now safely in our basement, where we will remain until this dreaded siege has come to a close. God bless you all.

  7. egpenet
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    I am so miffed at this sub-species of our citizenry! They are such stupid people!

    Our country is in so much pain … middle class … poor class … unemployment … persecution of legitimate immigraants … an immoral war … unemployment … anti-unionism … recession … higher taxes from the Democrats … bad monetary/fiscal policy from the Republicans …

    Stop changing the subject you apostates!

    Go back to Alabama (wherever) and DIE! You have no cohearent concept of what you think is Christianity. I’m very very very tired of this horseshit.

  8. John on Forest
    Posted January 16, 2008 at 11:02 pm | Permalink

    I have a boat and I’m stocking it up with groceries and loading my whole family, including two neutered (so they wouldn’t be gay) golden retrievers on it and going out into the middle of Ford Lake where the gays won’t be able to reach us. Gays can’t swim, right?

    Oh no! I’m too late. My marriage just fell apart. Damn gays!!

  9. Ol' E Cross
    Posted January 17, 2008 at 12:25 am | Permalink

    If you read this and just substitute the word “Nazi” for the word “gay,” you’ll realize the danger.

    Do we really want Ypsi overrun by Nazis?

    I didn’t think so.

  10. laughing all the way to the bath house
    Posted January 17, 2008 at 10:29 am | Permalink

    You all laugh, but the University of Michigan, right in our backyard, is offering the course English 317. Do you know what the title of the the class is?

    “How to be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation”


  11. Chilehead
    Posted January 17, 2008 at 10:30 am | Permalink

    Hey Brent…..just an FYI…that truly is Eureka Springs, Arkansas….not Amsterdam. I know, I was there.

  12. Brent
    Posted January 17, 2008 at 10:53 am | Permalink

    Well clearly I have underestimated the architecture of Arkansas. This “homosexual activist” stands corrected.

  13. Posted January 17, 2008 at 8:54 pm | Permalink

    “It’s not God I dislike – it’s his fan club that scares the crap out of me.”

    Found this quote earlier on Slashdot. I’m thinking it would make a great t-shirt.

  14. mark
    Posted January 18, 2008 at 7:26 am | Permalink

    Nice idea, Edweird, but I’m more partial to the idea of a shirt that says, “this homosexual activist stands corrected.”

    And I didn’t think that I needed to say it, but, judging from some of the comments, maybe I do. I don’t think we’re in any danger of being overrun by homosexuals hell bent on taking over city government. And, if there were such people, I would welcome them. I find the existence of this tape to be an offensive, stupid and pathetic grab for money by an organization that fills its coffers by marketing fear.

  15. John on Forest
    Posted January 18, 2008 at 10:26 pm | Permalink


    I hadn’t thought about the economic gain angle of this whole thing. Of course I too find the whole existence of the AFA to be offensive, stupid and pathetic.

    I think the comments here, or at least most of them were heavily steeped in sarcasm to demonstrate the absurdity of the AFA. I’m very proud of the diversity and acceptance Ypsilanti has and displays.

  16. John on Forest
    Posted January 19, 2008 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    Huckabee favors constitutional amendments banning abortion and same-gender marriage. This seems to be the agenda of the religious right: To impose their will on people who do not have their religious beliefs.

    If the religious right don’t agree with abortion or homosexuality; then, I wonder why they would do it. Ok, that’s a retorical question. What I mean is that they should do what they believe in; and, they probably do. But why should they have the right to tell others how to believe?

    So, I think those of us who think differently from the religious right should gather together our forces with full strength. We should press for and sponsor constitutional amendments mandating abortion and same-gender marriage. Now, I realize a good deal of sacrifice will be needed from us heterosexuals and want to be parents. Forcing ourselves to dissolve our heterosexual marriages and marry someone of the same gender, when we are not gay, will be hard, but worth it.

  17. Posted January 19, 2008 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

    The Religious Right and AVA in particular have a problem with “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” as written into our Declaration of Independence. They have a problem with America and should probably be forced to leave and go somewhere where they’re views are already law. Like Tehran.


    PS. I abhor these people and believe we should be invaded by queer folk ASAP. Ypsi would be better for it.

  18. toado
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

    What you need to watch is the old movie, Heathers. Our heroine and her boyfriend get back at the bullying football players by setting up their death as a three-way homosexual suicide pact. It is a very black comedy, but really funny, unless you are on the opposite side, politically or religiously from me.

    My favorite quote is from the father of one of the football players at the memorial service: “I love my dead gay son!”

    The hero and heroine end the film by blowing up the high school.

    … and if your name is Heather, please excuse this post as the rantings of a California tree hugger.

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