I know it’s going to be difficult for many of you to reconcile in your minds, but, in addition to doing relatively good, useful stuff in the community, I also do some stuff that isn’t so well received. Here’s a good rule of thumb. If you read about one of my projects here and you’re impressed, there’s probably a good chance that I’ve got another project going on at the exact same time that you would find absolutely detestable. For every Shadow Art Fair, YpsiVotes forum or “Shop Ypsi for the Holidays” campaign, there’s something like The Monkey Power Trio Music Band and the Severed Unicorn Head Superstore. Somehow I’ve been able to strike this perfect balance between being a respectable member of the community and being a pariah.
I felt as though that last paragraph was necessary before launching into this post, which is about the Severed Unicorn Head project. I was worried that someone who has only been reading this site for the past few days, after having read about the “Shop Ypsi for the Holidays” project in the paper might see this post about me lugging a severed unicorn head around town, and that it might trigger some kind of dissociative break. And, I didn’t want for that to happen.
So, with all of that as background, I wanted to tell you that my friend Melissa and I are still on track to launch the site this Saturday. The final pieces are falling into place. One of the last things we needed was photos, and we got several good ones on Sunday. I don’t want to give too much away, but a lot of the site will revolve around sharing little know facts about unicorns. One of the pictures we took, for instance, shows a depressed unicorn contemplating suicide on a bridge. The caption will read, “Unicorns often contemplate suicide, but never follow through.” Well, in order to make the site really great, there are still a few more shots that we need, and I was hoping that maybe some of you out there in SE Michigan could help us out. There are more, but here are the three we’d like to have done soon… A photo of the unicorn on stage at a strip club (fully clothed)… A photo of the unicorn disrespecting police authority… A photo of a tattoo artist tattooing a teardrop on the unicorn’s face. If you can make any of those three things happen, let me know. We’d appreciate it.
11 Comments
Ah this is the Mark I like. I remember the young man wearing womens clothing, playing his bass with a fork, and screamed things like “NIXON IS INNOCENT!” or “ANARCHY IS STUPID!”.
I probably said too much. What will the city agenda posters think? Good thing I didn’t mention the rubbing of a vibrator on an acoustic guitar at an open mic night, that went over well.
IDEAS:
Thursday night Karaoke at the Elbow Room.
Holding an anti-abortion poster on Michigan Ave.
Peeing in a alley.
Drinking at Haabs.
With Freda pooping in the park.
I probably said too much.
There’s the reason I never shop at the Keg. Too many damn sulky unicorns.
I knew it all along, the unicorns are destroying Ypsi.
Mark, ever considered using the water tower as the horn on a unicorn painting? Nothing says Ypsi like a huge phallic symbol on the forehead of a mystical beast.
Quite the contrary, I find the community service stuff to be reprehensible.
I bought X from a Unicorn once. It was incredible.
If we only lived closer…
We would love to help you with the unicorn project.
I don’t know how you would incorporate this into a painting or photograph, but another little known fact is that unicorns are selfish lovers.
I’m a shellfish lover as well. It’s a small world.
And thanks for the ideas. I particularly like the idea of the unicorn holding an abortion poster…. Would anyone happen to have a 7-foot tall sign of an aborted foetus?
And I thought for sure that I’d have either a stripper, a cop, or a tattoo artist in the local audience willing to help. Is there really not one single stripper out there? (I think the stripper could introduce me to the cop and the tattoo artist.)
This whole unicorn thing is just a cover to meet strippers, isn’t it?
You can’t go back to the stripper pole once you’ve slid up and down the horn.
Is that what goes on at Otherkin conventions?