the smartest girl ever on “america’s next top model”

I’m supposed to be paying attention to someone speaking in a meeting right now, but, instead, I’m surfing around the net, catching up on America’s Next Top Model gossip. This season isn’t shaping up too good, but I need a distraction, and this is the best mindless nonsense that broadcast TV has to offer. So, here I am in this community meeting, reading Victoria’s take on being voted off, trying to look all serious, like I’m researching tax code… According to Victoria, at one point during the judging, she took off her shoes and Tyra, thinking that she was about to be attacked with them, summoned her bodyguards out to protect her from the 110-pound Yale history student. Oh, yeah, and Victoria also claims to have found a packet of information one day during filming that contained the producers’ notes about all of the girls this season. She claims that, according to the notes, they felt she would be difficult to manipulate because she was the smartest girl to ever appear on the show… OK, I’m going to start paying attention again.

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8 Comments

  1. Posted October 23, 2007 at 9:19 pm | Permalink

    Mark, I’m a closet America’s Next Top Model fan too.

  2. Anony
    Posted October 23, 2007 at 11:40 pm | Permalink

    We wish Mark was a closet ANTM fan. Unfortunately, for all of us, he spends a lot of time each cycle telling us he is a model watcher!

  3. Ol' E Cross
    Posted October 24, 2007 at 12:28 am | Permalink

    Wait. The smart one? I thought Victoria was the ugly, stuck-up bitch.

    I’m confused.

    I guess I’ll have to watch the next episode.

  4. Steph
    Posted October 24, 2007 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    I like the one they call “Ass Burgers”.

  5. KT
    Posted October 24, 2007 at 10:44 am | Permalink

    I think you’re making a joke, but, just in case you’re not, it’s Aspergers. It’s a mild form of Autism. She has it.

    http://www.aspergers.com/aspclin.htm

    It’s just a coincidence that she’s also got fine ass burgers.

  6. terrygilmer
    Posted October 24, 2007 at 9:51 pm | Permalink

    Isn’t being the “smartest girl on America’s Next Top Model” kinda like being the “world’s tallest midget”? Remember the girl who thought all birds were blind? I think some of this cycle’s girls like Chantal are about that speed. And Mark, have you ever thought about doing a comic based on ANTM?

  7. mark
    Posted October 24, 2007 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

    I actually do have an idea for a comic, but it’s kind of violent, Terry. It involves me hunting down Ole EC and waterboarding him until he admits that he’s in fact the ugly, stuck-up bitch. (And, yes, Victoria was my favorite.)

    [I tried to work in a reference to his “ass burgers” but it kept sounding too gay.]

  8. js
    Posted October 26, 2007 at 1:18 pm | Permalink

    My girlfriend and I watch this every week, though I have to admit that I was confused briefly by you calling her “Victoria.” We only referred to her as “Too Smart.” In that when she was up for elimination, it was “Too Smart” against “Penis Hair.”

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