the washlet: elevating peku cleaning to a whole new level

My brother-in-law is trying to convince us to buy one of these. I think the years he spent in Japan as an impressionable young English teacher are to blame.

You have to follow that link. The actors they’ve got pitching this high-tech ass-cleansing system are absolutely amazing. They’re so enthusiastic and earnest. It’s great marketing. I’d love to get the same cast of actors together to pitch something I’m involved with, like the Shadow Art Fair, or Ypsilanti. Just imagine how cool it would be to see them all talking about Ypsilanti with such passion.

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  1. mark
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 12:10 am | Permalink

    That’s an image of the remote control.

    Yup, it’s got a remote control.

  2. be OH be
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 8:12 am | Permalink

    Oh the mischief some adolescent boy is going to get into with that remote.

  3. dorothy
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 8:18 am | Permalink

    that is the most hilarious thing i’ve seen in years. the thought of what mischief indeed is priceless.

  4. Eric
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 11:26 am | Permalink

    I’ve no problem w/ the idea of the bidet, although I’ve never used one and I have many logistical concerns/curiosities that the are not answered through the watered-down language on the Washlet website. What freaks me out is that this website’s presentation has to be as close to what Bradbury and Huxley feared when they wrote their fictions oh so many years ago. Washlet web is an advertisement for dystopia.

  5. Steph
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    Nothing in my life has EVER made me even a fraction as happy as those people seem. Not even close. I feel like I need one desperately.

  6. Bill
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    Just want till the Japanese managers of the Happy Clean Company throw the big secret switch that turns them all into entrail-sucking death machines.

  7. Eric
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    The picture of the remote control on Mark’s post obscures the “Commit Suicide” button, which is just below “Oscillating.”

  8. Ol' E Cross
    Posted September 11, 2007 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

    Your brother-in-law found a very polite way to tell you that you smell like ass.

    I’ve been meaning to tell you, I think you could benefit from the confidence boost given by one of these.

  9. BrianB
    Posted September 12, 2007 at 9:03 am | Permalink

    I got a nice feeling from just rolling my cursor over their smiling faces on that flash homepage. It’s like playing a xylophone made of human heads.

  10. Posted September 12, 2007 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    Hey I guess it is no surprise that someone with a Segway and a Hybrid Escape might also have a Washlet too. I have had a Washlet since 2004. Maggie and I were traveling in Japan in 2004 and even the public toilets have them. When we came back to the States I set out to buy one.

    The top end with the wall mounted remote are about $1,100 in Japan. I found the same model here in the states for less than $600 and have had it for over three years now.

    They are pretty nice. Last winter I was very ill having contracted the Norwalk virus. I spent almost a week in bed and with out getting into too much detail a great deal of time on the porcelain seat. I lost nearly 10 pounds that week so I was pretty sick. I was grateful for the Washlet.


    – Steve

  11. Tark
    Posted September 12, 2007 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    I have a robot butler that gives enemas.

  12. mark
    Posted September 13, 2007 at 11:00 pm | Permalink

    (Can everyone else hear that?)

  13. Ol' E Cross
    Posted September 13, 2007 at 11:23 pm | Permalink

    Sorry, I can’t hear anything over the sound of the bubbling brook that’s currently cleasing my jubilent sphincter.

    (Tip: put a little ginger and vodka in the tank for a little “extra freshness.”)

  14. mark
    Posted September 13, 2007 at 11:53 pm | Permalink

    Wonderful product placement, OEC! I’m putting you in charge of the marketing division. Tell Johnson to pack his things and get out.

    Oh, and I meant to mention it days ago, but “peku” (probably spelled incorrectly here) is Chinese for butt.

  15. mark
    Posted September 13, 2007 at 11:55 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t get it in this screen capture, but there are two buttons below “oscillating.” One says “Abort.” The other says “Circumcise.”

  16. Sidney
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    Is this the same Steve Pierce that’s behind the lawsuit announced today by the YpsiDixit?

  17. It's Skinner Again
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    “Pecu” is also French slang for toilet paper (from “papier cul”). It’s universal!

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