does this mean there’s no more state of michigan?

According to the official Sate of Michigan website, there is no more State of Michigan. At least that’s my interpretation. To be honest, I didn’t make it all the way through the 81-question FAQ though. What I did see, however, leads me to believe that Michigan has gone the way of New Coke, corn cob pipes and throat beards.

If I were Canada, now’s the time I’d make a move to get the Upper Peninsula. There’s never been a better opportunity. American military forces are deployed oversees, the Canadian dollar is strong and there’s a leadership vacuum in Michigan. Plus, I suspect that a lot of Michiganders would gladly jump at an offer to join Canada, what with their nationalized healthcare and all. And, with global warming looming, those huge fresh water lakes of ours have got to be mighty tempting. If the Canadians have sleeper cells in Michigan, I suspect they’ll start rolling them out now. If you visit a Tim Horton’s tomorrow, pay close attention to the folks behind the counter.

If we’re not taken over, how about renaming the state and starting over with a clean slate? We might even be able to sell naming rights to a beer company or something and make some money in the process. Now’s the time to start thinking outside the box, my friends.

Assuming, however, that the Canadian’s don’t come to attack/rescue us, and we don’t rise up and start a new state, and that our legislature eventually gets their shit together and gets the ship of state running again, we don’t have to pay state taxes for the duration of the shutdown, do we?

[Michigan Liberal has good, up-to-date coverage, for those who want to know what’s really going on.]

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  1. Sidney
    Posted October 1, 2007 at 1:06 pm | Permalink

    I hear they finally came to a deal. Part of it has to do with taxing palm readers. I’m not kidding either.

  2. mark
    Posted October 2, 2007 at 9:09 pm | Permalink

    The new Michigan Service Tax of 6% will apply to the following market segments:

    Baby Shoe Bronzing
    Bail bonding
    Coin-operated blood pressure testing machine services
    Check room services
    Coin-operated personal service machines
    Comfort station operation services
    Concierge services
    Consumer-buying services
    Credit card notification services
    Dating services
    Discount buying services
    Social escort services
    Fortune-telling services
    Genealogical investigation services
    House-sitting services
    Social introduction services
    Coin-operated rental locker services
    Numerology services
    Palm-reading services
    Party-planning services
    Pay telephones
    Personal fitness trainers
    Personal shopping services
    Coin-operated photographic machine services
    Phrenology services
    Psychic services
    Rest-room operation services
    Singing telegrams
    House-sitting services
    Wedding chapel services
    Wedding planners
    Consulting (including lobbying)
    Escort services
    Administrative services (like payroll)
    Investment advising
    Armored cars
    Private investigators
    Packaging and labeling
    Business service centers
    Carpet and upholstery cleaners
    Couriers and messengers
    Document preparation services
    Transit and ground passenger services
    Office administration
    Travel agents
    Scenic transportation
    Service contracts
    Interior design
    Tour operators
    Warehousing and storage

    Yup. That’s how bad it’s gotten. We’re having to tax our hookers and baby shoe bronzers.

  3. egpenet
    Posted October 2, 2007 at 10:21 pm | Permalink

    Folks want services … they gotta pay for services. As Michigan goes … so may Ypsi.

    Question remains … how is the money spent, besides some state services? Who benefits most? Who benefits at all?

    Is Blackwater our only alternative to paying a fair wage and a fair retirement to our police? I hear Blackwater is in more than 25 countries right now doing “odd jobs” for the U.S. in lieu of military presence. Hmmm. Why not Washtenaw County?

  4. a different Robert R
    Posted October 4, 2007 at 7:47 am | Permalink

    A bj tax? Good work Michigan.

  5. Robert
    Posted October 6, 2007 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

    I guess they are thinking about appending Michigan’s motto as follows: “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you. Do you see a time machine anywhere?”

  6. mark
    Posted October 7, 2007 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

    That list of occupations that will now be taxed is great. I’d love to have an empire with business interestes in each of those areas… I wonder if all that stuff could fit on one business card.

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