According to the official Sate of Michigan website, there is no more State of Michigan. At least that’s my interpretation. To be honest, I didn’t make it all the way through the 81-question FAQ though. What I did see, however, leads me to believe that Michigan has gone the way of New Coke, corn cob pipes and throat beards.
If I were Canada, now’s the time I’d make a move to get the Upper Peninsula. There’s never been a better opportunity. American military forces are deployed oversees, the Canadian dollar is strong and there’s a leadership vacuum in Michigan. Plus, I suspect that a lot of Michiganders would gladly jump at an offer to join Canada, what with their nationalized healthcare and all. And, with global warming looming, those huge fresh water lakes of ours have got to be mighty tempting. If the Canadians have sleeper cells in Michigan, I suspect they’ll start rolling them out now. If you visit a Tim Horton’s tomorrow, pay close attention to the folks behind the counter.
If we’re not taken over, how about renaming the state and starting over with a clean slate? We might even be able to sell naming rights to a beer company or something and make some money in the process. Now’s the time to start thinking outside the box, my friends.
Assuming, however, that the Canadian’s don’t come to attack/rescue us, and we don’t rise up and start a new state, and that our legislature eventually gets their shit together and gets the ship of state running again, we don’t have to pay state taxes for the duration of the shutdown, do we?
[Michigan Liberal has good, up-to-date coverage, for those who want to know what’s really going on.]
6 Comments
I hear they finally came to a deal. Part of it has to do with taxing palm readers. I’m not kidding either.
The new Michigan Service Tax of 6% will apply to the following market segments:
Astrology
Baby Shoe Bronzing
Bail bonding
Balloon-o-grams
Coin-operated blood pressure testing machine services
Bondspersons
Check room services
Coin-operated personal service machines
Comfort station operation services
Concierge services
Consumer-buying services
Credit card notification services
Dating services
Discount buying services
Social escort services
Fortune-telling services
Genealogical investigation services
House-sitting services
Social introduction services
Coin-operated rental locker services
Numerology services
Palm-reading services
Party-planning services
Pay telephones
Personal fitness trainers
Personal shopping services
Coin-operated photographic machine services
Phrenology services
Porters
Psychic services
Rest-room operation services
Shoeshines
Singing telegrams
House-sitting services
Wedding chapel services
Wedding planners
Consulting (including lobbying)
Tanning
Escort services
Massage
Administrative services (like payroll)
Investment advising
Janitorial
Armored cars
Private investigators
Packaging and labeling
Landscaping
Skiing
Business service centers
Carpet and upholstery cleaners
Couriers and messengers
Document preparation services
Self-storage
Transit and ground passenger services
Office administration
Travel agents
Scenic transportation
Service contracts
Interior design
Tour operators
Warehousing and storage
Yup. That’s how bad it’s gotten. We’re having to tax our hookers and baby shoe bronzers.
Folks want services … they gotta pay for services. As Michigan goes … so may Ypsi.
Question remains … how is the money spent, besides some state services? Who benefits most? Who benefits at all?
Is Blackwater our only alternative to paying a fair wage and a fair retirement to our police? I hear Blackwater is in more than 25 countries right now doing “odd jobs” for the U.S. in lieu of military presence. Hmmm. Why not Washtenaw County?
A bj tax? Good work Michigan.
I guess they are thinking about appending Michigan’s motto as follows: “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you. Do you see a time machine anywhere?”
That list of occupations that will now be taxed is great. I’d love to have an empire with business interestes in each of those areas… I wonder if all that stuff could fit on one business card.