there but for the grace of god go ypsi

Tom Monaghan’s 11,000-home Catholic community, Ave Maria, opened to the public this weekend. I don’t know how selling $256,900 to $481,900 homes to wealthy, retired Catholics really helps spread the word of god here on earth, but I’m sure that it all makes sense in the mind of the super-conservative pizza mogul. I’m just happy that this colossal monument to his ego was built in Florida, and not here in his hometown of Ypsilanti. He says publicly that the town will be open to non-Domionists, but I can’t imagine that he’d allow anyone to live there who didn’t fit his narrow vision of what a “good Christian” is. If you’ll recall, he spent quite a bit of money here in Ypsilanti in an attempt to deny equal rights to gays and lesbians. One can’t imagine that he’d welcome them into Ave Maria with open arms. Someone really should give it a shot. I bet, if there’s a gay couple willing, we could raise the quarter million dollars Monaghan’s asking for a starter home. I’d contribute $100, if they promised to blog about their adventures in Ave Maria… In all seriousness, though, I hope he’s successful at building his compound there in the swamps of Florida, among the other cultists. If he is, maybe he’ll divest from his remaining Ypsilanti properties and we’ll be done with him and his shitty pizza legacy once and for all.

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  1. Tim D
    Posted July 23, 2007 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    Ave Maria, the Place where Altar Boys and their Families are Sent to Shut Up.

  2. Robert
    Posted July 23, 2007 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    In heaven, he’ll be providing quality pizza. Here in this life it is important to suffer with the crappy stuff.

  3. Ol' E Cross
    Posted July 23, 2007 at 1:25 pm | Permalink

    Be careful what you wish for Mark, if he’s successful, he’ll franchise.

  4. soundman
    Posted July 23, 2007 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    The only thing that I ever liked about Monaghan was his Frank Lloyd Wright collection. It was awesome to be able to go to Domino Farms and see all of those pieces up close.

    … Then you’d travel upstairs and see the gold-plated fixtures in the bathrooms and be disgusted.

  5. Citizen Blogger
    Posted July 24, 2007 at 7:22 am | Permalink

    Mark, I’m betting we could find a tv station that would fund this project as a reality show.

    We could call it, “There’s gonna be a lynchin’.”

  6. sylwill
    Posted July 24, 2007 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    Hmm, I wonder when the gates around this “compound” get locked and they declare themselves independent from the United States.

  7. Tom M
    Posted July 24, 2007 at 10:05 am | Permalink

    Remember, there is no pizza in hell.

    I am praying to my pepperoni rosary for your souls.

  8. Robert
    Posted July 25, 2007 at 7:35 pm | Permalink

    He’s not perfect…just forgiven.

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