no blog tonight

If you have something that you’d like to say, now’s your chance. Seriously, anything at all… Are you selling something that belongs to your parents without their knowing? Are you looking for a new girlfriend? A used tractor? A ride to a doctor’s appointment? Do you have something you feel as though you have to confess? Did you just see a great movie? What do you think of your neighbors? Do you love the smell of your own feet? What’s the craziest thing you believe? Are you proud of your 8th grade honor student? Do you have an uncle in prison for something interesting? What do you hate the most about yourself? What do you hate the most about this blog? What will you miss the most about life on Earth whne you’re dead? Really, anything at all…

This is a rare opportunity. Use it wisely. (Limit 20 comments per alias.)

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22 Comments

  1. terrygilmer
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 1:39 am | Permalink

    I hate my neighbors. They mow their lawn at 7:00 am when I’m trying to sleep. I may take a roadtrip later this month. Any places I should stop by? I am looking for a new girlfriend but a tractor has its merits too.

  2. Melissa
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 8:04 am | Permalink

    I hate people that come to buy something from you off craigslist and then don’t offer to pay what you are asking after they show up almost a full 90 minutes late. Too bad for me that I just wanted it gone so I took what they offered.

    Also, Mr. Bottle Picker needs to stay out of my garbage at 1:00 in the morning waking me up and scaring the ever loving scheisse out of me.

  3. Cleo Love Paste
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 8:23 am | Permalink

    I hate when, after I case a joint using the old “I’m here to see the item you advertised on Craigs List” scam, I get found out right as I’m getting ready to break in through a person’s window. Damn klinkity klinkity bottles.

    Terry, I’ve heard Muncie, Indiana is nice. They have an all celebrity police force.

  4. edweird
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    Are you selling something that belongs to your parents without their knowing?
    Not yet. My Dad is 80 years old this year and I will likely be needing to do this some time in the not so distant future. I am NOT looking forward to this, however.
    Are you looking for a new girlfriend?
    Sometimes, then I realize what a hassle it is and I go back to my studio.
    A used tractor?
    No.
    A ride to a doctor’s appointment?
    Nope.
    Do you have something you feel as though you have to confess?
    Actually, I really do want a new girlfriend, but I’m a coward.
    Did you just see a great movie?
    I rewatched Psychomania this last weekend. Polite english bikers kill themselves to become undead and wreak havoc on a small English country town, all the while staying quite polite.
    What do you think of your neighbors?
    They don’t annoy me.
    Do you love the smell of your own feet?
    Not particularly.
    What’s the craziest thing you believe?
    The answer to the meaning of life really is 42.
    Are you proud of your 8th grade honor student?
    I don’t know if I’ve ever made one. If I did it would depend largely on their daily crack/heroin intake.
    Do you have an uncle in prison for something interesting?
    Sort of. Not really my Uncle, but he used to live next door to me growing up. He had a standoff with police, shot up his house and loaded all 16 guns he had. They had to tazer him.
    What do you hate the most about yourself?
    My inherent fear of single hot women.
    What do you hate the most about this blog?
    That for today I have to make it interesting for the rest of us.
    What will you miss the most about life on Earth whne you’re dead?
    Correcting peoples poor spelling.
    Really, anything at all…
    I released a noise record yesterday… and you can find it here:
    http://soiledutilities.tunenami.com/edweird/

  5. Posted June 5, 2007 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    I saw you 3 perhaps heading to the A2Farmer’s Market on Saturday morning. I was driving too quickly to stop and say Hi. Plus I figured you needed your anonymity. It must be hard to go out in public and get harassed by fans.

    p.s. My faith in Ypsi parades is shaken. The Memorial Day parade was a total bust. It will be hard to convince the kids to try again for Heritage Festival.

  6. Posted June 5, 2007 at 12:41 pm | Permalink

    I saw Brick last night. It’s a high school murder mystery with a noir feel which doesn’t even begin to tell you how much I liked it. I thought the lead actor was very good, as I kept telling him that he needed to go to the hospital.

    Hate? I hate the bloody remote control boats that run every single solitary freaking day at the pond across the street from my apt. I wish I knew how to mine the pond, because one of my dearest wishes in life at this point is to see one of those suckers blown sky high.

  7. Jim
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 1:39 pm | Permalink

    I’m so annoyed at Dingell, who’s trying to prevent the states from fighting global warming:

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/06/05/WARMING.TMP

  8. Kathy
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    The Ypsilanti Memorial Day parade sucks ass — it’s the 4th of July parade that is the biggie. Give that one a try.

  9. dr. teddy glass
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

    If I had access to a ball of buffalo mozzarella the size of my head right now, I would eat it.

  10. mike_1630
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 5:01 pm | Permalink

    I’m on the road :) wish me luck…

  11. jill
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 6:51 pm | Permalink

    I have an unfortunate addiction to Crunch Berries.

  12. dmcbass
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

    I hate it when people knock on my door to read Bible scripture to me. I’m too much of a wuss to tell them to fuck off. I can’t even through the track away – it’s still lying on my dining room table.

    I hate stupid people in powerful positions. A recruiter called me today about a potential job and asked if my email address was short for dumbass. Do I really want this person sending my portfolio to a potential employer?

    dmcbass

  13. Ol' E Cross
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 10:14 pm | Permalink

    My biological dad died the day after my second birthday. I’ve seen pictures, and a delightful though brief 16mm of him surfaced when I was in high school. (My mom remarried when I was approaching 4, my adopted dad is physically opposite me, it was startling to see someone look and move in the same way I do.)

    I’ve always assumed I have no memory of my biological dad. The other night, my wife and I were talking. I don’t remember the exact path the conversation took, but my wife said something casually that made me realize that although I don’t have any mental images of my father, I do have memories of his passing. I do remember the confusion, loss, pain. I couldn’t stop sobbing.

    Growing up, when random folks would find out I was half-adopted, they’d ask me about my birth dad. I’d shrug and say, “I was two, I don’t remember him, my (adopted) dad is the only dad I knew.” It was true to my appreciation for my adopted dad. But, everytime I said it, I had this sense of loss, but it was an unknown loss I couldn’t place or wrap my head around. I’m realizing the sense of loss was my memory of him.

    It’s a weird thing, at 36, greiving the loss of your father 34 years ago. I have no physical memory of him. But, I can’t stop sobbing.

  14. MaryD
    Posted June 6, 2007 at 7:57 am | Permalink

    Memorial Day has is procession. It is to honor our war dead, to remember their sacrifice, not to party down, as in the 4th of July or Heritage Festival. My kids complain about how long Heritage Parade is, it is said to be the longest in MI.

  15. dr. teddy glass
    Posted June 6, 2007 at 8:45 am | Permalink

    No disrespect to the war dead, or Ypsilanti, but I believe that I hold the title for being “the longest in Michigan.”

    (I inherrited the title upon the death of Edward Kepki, a native of Hamtramck, last January.)

  16. Cleo Love Paste
    Posted June 6, 2007 at 9:22 am | Permalink

    If any of you had a head-sized ball of buffalo mozzarella at this very moment, I would kill you for it.

    I wouldn’t kill for Crunch Berries, but I’d try to take them from you.

    I am very hungry.

  17. degutails
    Posted June 6, 2007 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    i have a sixth grade honor student i’m really proud of. which is funny, since i’ve always been more partial to the “my gamer kid can beat up your honor student” bumper stickers myself. but there it is.

    meredith

  18. egpenet
    Posted June 6, 2007 at 7:45 pm | Permalink

    Kathleen … a half dozen small alligator babies will set you back about $20. They’ll grow quickley and will solve your noise problem forever.

    Any other insoluble issues out there? (Besides cheese balls and crunch berries, that is.)

  19. mark
    Posted June 6, 2007 at 10:28 pm | Permalink

    I want to write a script for a cop buddy movie called “Cheese Ball and Crunchberry.”

    And your post about your dad, Ol’ EC, really got to me. It’s been a constant worry of mine that I might pass away before my daughter really got to form any solid memories of me. (It’s one of my most persistent fears.) I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience that… And, I’m also sorry that your thoughtful, heartfelt comment had to be nestled here, between mentions of cheese balls and long cocks. It deserves better.

  20. Ol' E Cross
    Posted June 7, 2007 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

    But my heart is always nestled between cheeseballs and long cocks…

  21. Posted June 7, 2007 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    I once spent ninety dollars on three hits of ecstasy when I lived in Hawaii. I ate one of them. I had already drank a bunch of liquor and taken some acid. I stayed out all night. The next morning I was broke and demoralized. I came down from my trip and threw two tablets of ecstasy in the gutter. I swore never to do that particular drug again. I didn’t, but I still drank enough to fuck my life up some more. This was all seven or eight years ago.

  22. Posted June 7, 2007 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

    Another time in San Francisco I went to get a tattoo of a toilet bowl on my arm. The tattoo artist went outside to smoke a joint first. I stayed inside until his wife came by and asked if I wanted to smoke with him. So I did. I hadn’t smoked pot in four years. I got so scared I fell out of the tattoo chair, cried, hallucinated, and broke a trash can with my head after throwing up.

    I never did finish the tattoo.

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