happy loving day, fellow race traitors


Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court case that legalized interracial marriage in the United States. Michigan, thankfully, had made interracial marriage legal in 1883. It’s hard to believe, but most of the southern U.S. didn’t give up the fight to keep the races apart until almost 100 years later, in 1967. In the hierarchy of race-mixing shock-n-awe, at least by present day standards, Linette and I don’t score so high. You can’t look through the window of a Starbucks without seeing an Asian woman and a white guy looking meaningfully into one another’s eyes. Still, though, I feel justified in celebrating this holiday that’s come to be known as Loving Day with all the other “race traitors” out there. After all, under the law, the way it was written, Linette and I couldn’t have been married in most of the U.S. had we been alive and so inclined at the time the court decision was handed down.

Here’s the wording that was struck down by the Supreme Court in 1967:

“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”

Hopefully, the laws preventing gay couples from getting married will one day look as ridiculous.

Here’s to taboo love, and the watering down the great white bloodline that has brought us such examples of human perfection as Paulie Shore, Richard Simmons, and Adolph Hitler.

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22 Comments

  1. mark
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 12:25 am | Permalink

    This was my shout out to all the race traiters. I plan to do a better job of it next year. I’m going to make it an annual thing. It’s on my calendar now. Next year we’ll have all the readers in mixed relationships send their photos in or something.

  2. mark
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 12:26 am | Permalink

    Don’t I look like a creepy stalker in the photo up top?

  3. dorothy
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 6:38 am | Permalink

    i never heard of loving day before, but i’m gloriously glad to celebrate it. my husband is half black and i’m 100% irish. i was so proud of my father— when i told him who i was going to marry and he said, “if you thought joe being half black was an impediment to marriage, i would be very ashamed of the way we raised you.” i was in tears.

  4. Sylvie
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    As a friend of mine once said, there is nothing wrong witha relationship that brings us beauty like Halle Berry.

    I didn’t know my husband and I had a day like this we could celebrate. When will Hallmark come out with cards for this?

  5. Robert
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 10:37 am | Permalink

    “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”

    I’ve always known that boats were the work of the devil. All that nautical talk, crazy knots and weird symbols always reminded me of satanic rituals.

    The most important thing here though is that clearly God didn’t want British people having sex with anyone. Now we all can see why. I hope you are all proud of yourselves.

    I think God might have originally planned to put an ocean where Eastern Europe is, but settled for putting in what is just a really long drive to separate the Yellow people from the White ones. From this I think we can conclude that God hates road trips as much as he hates boats.

    What a lame-ass color wheel. No Blue, Green, Orange or Purple, and we’re almost out of Red. Are South Americans Red or Black? Why was Brown left out of the quote? Hey! Wait a minute. Malay isn’t a color! This is bullshit!

  6. Cleo Love Paste
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    I need to search the web for Prussian Blue lyrics. I know they must have something to say on this matter.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prussian_Blue_(duo)

  7. Vera
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    I’m not sure if I’m in an inter-racial marriage or not. I married my Irish/Polish husband 10 years ago. At the time, my race was “white”. Somewhere after September 2001, the government has added a new box for me to check. How does that work? Is there some kind of grandfather clause? When the war’s over, will I be “white” again? I’m so confused.

  8. UBU
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 11:42 am | Permalink

    Well, at least homosexuals finally have their own day, although why such a demeaning term was used I’ll never know…what? Oh, it’s FLAG day? woops, never mind….

  9. Robert
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    I LOVE Prussian Blue! They’re the ‘Olsen Twins’ of Hate Rock. I’ve always said, “All the white supremacy movement needs is a sexy look.” People like to put on a show for themselves and get all Atticus Finch and shit, but the truth is that most people are way too dumb not to be racist. The main obstacle for the American Aryan movement to overcome is their own homeliness. It’s hard to listen to a tirade on how race-mixing gives rise to a race of mongrels, when it’s coming from some toothless inbred looking goof. I think clansman might really wear those masks because they wouldn’t even listen to each other if they saw how ugly one another is. It’s just too distracting. Ugly makes anyone wanna walk. It’s instinctual. I should know. I’m the spitting image of Tom Metzger.

    On a side note:
    I’ve always been offended by the labels “white” and “caucasian” being hurled at me (in the form of on-line marketing surveys and US census questionnaires). I prefer to be addressed using the terms “person of no color,” “uncolored,” “ethnic-less,” or “blank canvas.”

  10. Ol' E Cross
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    If God didn’t want intermingling, he should of just made various peoples parts incompatible … round pegs and square holes … like Legos and Megablocks.

    By the way Mark, I didn’t even see you in that stalker picture until you pointed it out. You just sort of blended right into the wallpaper dinosaurs.

  11. Posted June 14, 2007 at 1:45 pm | Permalink

    It’s hard to believe it was only 40 years ago that people believed that crap. Oh wait…some people still do.

  12. edweird
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    Anytime a piece of paper asks me for my race, I put “Earthling” or “Terran.”

    Happy Loving Day!

  13. Posted June 14, 2007 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

    Have you taught Clementine about hybrid vigor yet?

    Maybe Cara and I should celebrate loving day. We may be whitey-white kids now, but it’s only been, what, about 80 years since we would have been an Irishman and a Polack, instead. (Can we be race traitors if both of us are inferior types of Europeans, or does one of us have to be anglo/aryan white for it to count? Anyways…)

  14. mark
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 10:08 pm | Permalink

    There was a time, long before I knew Linette, that I had this notion that it would be good to have a child with a woman of every continent. I’d have my own little rainbow coalition… Since then, someone I know has told me about a mentally ill relative who set out to do the same thing. She’s trying to have kids of every color. I think she has three so far. She’s obviously got more determination and drive than I do.

  15. mark
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 10:44 pm | Permalink

    No one mentioned it yet, but I believe this Supreme Court ruling was the beginning of that slippery slope the Republicans talk about, which ultimately leads to men and women marrying animals.

  16. Robert
    Posted June 14, 2007 at 10:56 pm | Permalink

    I have a few friends who have been living with animals. I thought they were just afraid of commitment. I didn’t realize it was illegal for them to marry.

  17. Posted June 15, 2007 at 8:30 am | Permalink

    Fortunately you could still have had a clandestine tryst and brought the beautiful Clementine into the world!

    Happy belated Loving Day.

  18. dr. teddy glass
    Posted June 15, 2007 at 9:29 am | Permalink

    According to Wikipedia:

    “In the last episode of the sitcom Punky Brewster, Brandon marries a dog named Brenda.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human-animal_marriage

  19. dr. teddy glass
    Posted June 15, 2007 at 9:32 am | Permalink

    More on interspecies marriage:

    http://www.talkleft.com/story/2005/04/02/863/52275

  20. edweird
    Posted June 15, 2007 at 10:10 am | Permalink

    I sleep with a male cat nightly. Does this make me gay? And what happens if the younger female cat joins us. Would that be poligamy? Am I going to jail now? I’m confused.

  21. Robert
    Posted June 15, 2007 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    From 2002 through 2004, I dated a super-computer, which I normally wouldn’t do. But this particular one was housed in a casing which was in every way a perfect simulation of the human female form. So really I was tricked.

    More recently, I’ve met this female who is obviously an extraterrestrial being, here on vacation or something. It’s possible that she’s an advance scout for an invasion force. In that case, get ready guys, this is going to be awesome!

  22. Robert
    Posted June 16, 2007 at 9:12 am | Permalink

    The point is that I would sell out my fellow earthlings, and even sell out organically-based ‘life’ forms all together. Selling out my ‘race’ is small potatoes. I’d sell out white people for a stick of gum. I’m just weak like that. I’d hate to lose my membership in the Aryan Defense League over an issue of weakness.

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