my new ebay auction

If you’re in the market for a good book about corporate Nazism and a horribly ink-stained t-shirt, have I got the auction for you.

(I told myself that, in the interest of decreasing clutter, I’d put two things on EBay tonight. I don’t know how well they complement one another, but these are the first two things on my desk that I thought that I could possibly live without. It crossed my mind to offer them seperately, but then I thought this might be more interesting. Someone, I thought, might love the idea of a horribly ink-stained shirt and a good book on I.G. Farben’s role in World War II. We shall see.)

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  1. Posted May 22, 2007 at 1:33 am | Permalink

    I think you mean “a wonderfully ink-stained t-shirt.” Marketing!

  2. schutzman
    Posted May 22, 2007 at 10:35 am | Permalink

    The last time you posted a link to an ebay auction, i had the unfortunate task of pointing out you’d listed your daughter’s artwork in the “Gift Certificate” category.

    Since then, it appears that you’ve figured out category settings capably, so I have nothing to criticize. Involving that.

    However, I should point out that due to the fact that your auction insertion fee, alone, will be $ .40 (for double-listing at a starting bid below .99), plus the possibility that you included a gallery image (an extra .35), I’m going to guess you’re about .70 in the hole already, before any bid is made.

    Now, we turn to your shipping rate- It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that postal rates have all gone up, as of last week, and the flat-rate priority envelope which I assume you’re planning on using to ship these in will cost $4.60- but you’ve set the shipping rate at $4.50, which won’t even cover it, let alone allowing anything for handling charges.

    So, assuming the item sells at $.25, you will be losing around $.80, plus the time you spent, plus, of course, the items themselves which you will then be required to part with. This doesn’t take into account the final value and possible paypal fees, which while negligible for an amount this low, would still amount to a dollar or so total.

    Thus, the sale price needs to get to at least $2 before you’re in the black.

    I would also suggest, in reference to the shirt, that you add the word “EMO” somewhere in the title. It really does help. Hipsters need to have things spelled out for them, I’ve found.

    In the interest of full disclosure, I should clarify that I typically turn an average profit of around $1 per auction. This is the lofty height of success which you, too, may reach as an experienced ebay seller.

  3. dr. teddy glass
    Posted May 22, 2007 at 10:40 am | Permalink

    You’ve inspired me. I’m going to sell my copy of the 1976 Guinness Book of World Records and a ratty old pair of underwear.

  4. mark
    Posted May 22, 2007 at 10:24 pm | Permalink

    OK, it’s been almost 24 hours and there’s still not a single bid. Someone better cough up two bucks pretty fucking quick. Otherwise, I’m afraid this blog may not be long for this earth.

  5. mark
    Posted May 30, 2007 at 11:37 pm | Permalink

    The stuff ended up selling, for a quarter.

  6. Posted June 4, 2007 at 10:23 pm | Permalink

    Goes to show anything can sell on the internet. And to think I sold my junk at a garage sell for nickels.

  7. mark
    Posted June 5, 2007 at 12:57 am | Permalink

    Is that comment spam? I’m afraid to click the link.

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