jeff kay is getting huge

I was worried about my friend Jeff when he lost his job a few weeks ago. I didn’t have any reason to expect that he’d flounder without a job, as I’ve always known him to be a hard worker, but the thought crossed my mind that he might lose focus, tire of the job hunt, and just wither away in the basement bunker he blogs from. So, you can imagine how happy I was when I was trolling through Reddit just now and saw a link with his name on it. I imagined that maybe he’d landed that big, elusive book deal that he and I always dreamed about, or something. I followed the link to see what my good friend Jeff had gotten famous for, and this is what I saw.

The image on the right is of a Nachos Bell Grand as it appears in Taco Bell advertising. On the right is what the same meal looks like in the real world, when you get it handed to you through the drive-through window. Apparently, Jeff, had been using his time, now that he didn’t have a job, to painstakingly document the sad state of fast food in Scranton, Pennsylvania. And, right now, millions and millions of people, having had their fill of the mass murder porn we’re all being inundated with, are flipping through his photos of mashed up Whoppers and limp Filet-O-Fishes that didn’t live up to their glossy promise.

But, that’s not all. Jeff, not only got famous on the internets today, but he also got one big step closer to that elusive book deal. A big literary agent in New York has just taken him on. It seems as though everyone is beginning to realize what a lot of us have known for years, that he’s a damned fine writer. And it couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy. I just wish that he’d gotten downsized five years ago so that he could gotten on this path earlier.

Congratulations, Jeff.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of MM friends who are doing well, I’ve just been given the OK to tell you that Mike, of Caliblog fame, has won $25k in a film competition. Also, former “Crimewave” contributor, Amy Fusselman, has a great piece in this Sunday’s “New York Times.” (Amy also has a new book coming out.) And, I can’t tell you about it yet, but another friend, who also leaves comments here occasionally, is about to release a book as well. The universe, it would appear, smiles on those who are my friends.

Congratulations, everyone.

And I mean that, too. I’m not bitter. Really, I’m not.

[The ads here are also taken from Jeff’s site. He’s apparently selling tickets to fat camp and cross dressing consultations now. As I think he makes a lot of money with this stuff, I thought that I’d try it out here to see how it looks.]

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5 Comments

  1. ol' e cross
    Posted April 18, 2007 at 9:36 pm | Permalink

    Great. I finally get my phone line and internet back in working order and you fill me with an unrestrainable urge to run for the border.

    I’ll be right back. I got to go get me some of that counter aged chedder and antiquified beef bean.

  2. ol' e cross
    Posted April 19, 2007 at 1:03 pm | Permalink

    Mark, you’re so modest. It looks like you were published in this week’s New Yorker! (In a round about way.)

    You: http://markmaynard.com/index.php?cat=40

    From this week’s New Yorker: http://www.cartoonbank.com/assets/1/123869_m.gif

  3. mark
    Posted April 20, 2007 at 12:25 am | Permalink

    Jeff has just been Metafiltered.

    Earlier today he was Boing Boinged.

    He’s on a fucking roll.

  4. mark
    Posted April 20, 2007 at 12:26 am | Permalink

    And, yes, I was ripped off by the New Yorker. I’m glad that someone noticed.

  5. Posted February 10, 2008 at 5:10 pm | Permalink

    Hi Mark,

    Enjoyed your comments about Jeff kay. By chance, is this the same Jeff Kay that broke three of my ribs, in laughter, over his blog about Alli? if so, please give him my e-mail as we can use some good writing if his fees are not already in the stratosphere. Frankly, I have not laughed so hard in a very long time!

    Thanks for taking time to contact Jeff and pass along my e-mail. He will enjoy the weight loss anecdotes at our site.

    All the best,

    David Chapman

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