is anyone planning to see “grindhouse”?

I like Rodriguez and Tarantino alright, but the best thing to me sounds like the trailers for the fake films that play between their two features. Here’s a clip from “Variety“:

…An eight-minute “intermission” serves up tasty trailers for three more excellent candidates for exploitation immortality. “Werewolf Women of the SS,” about “Hitler’s plan to create a race of super-women,” stars Udo Kier, Sybil Danning and “Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu,” and is helmed with dead-on crudeness by Rob Zombie. “Don’t,” directed by Edgar Wright, trades hilariously on the enticing “Don’t go in the … ” motif of horror-pic advertising, while “Thanksgiving,” from Eli Roth, cooks up a startling and grisly holiday-themed gorefest…

And here’s a little more about the “intermission” trailers from the “New York Post“:

…”In one scene, a cute, topless girl is roughly tied down on a table by evil female Nazi experimenters who begin draining her blood and, as she screams in agony, they brand her like livestock with a coal-hot steel swastika,” our source said. “And every girl in the Nazi concentration camp is topless.”

Another trailer, directed by Eli Roth, of “Hostel” fame, is called “Thanksgiving,” in which a town’s celebration of Turkey Day is interrupted by a mad slasher.

“There’s a part where Jordan Ladd [daughter of Cheryl Ladd of ‘Charlie’s Angels’] is in a car with her boyfriend and giving him [oral sex] when she lovingly reaches to stroke his hair and discovers his neck is just a bloody stump – some maniac had just cut off his head while she was in the act.”

Later, a frisky cheerleader climbs onto a trampoline and begins stripping naked as she jumps up and down until she does a split and her skirt blows up without panties underneath. “You get the full ‘Britney Spears-getting-out-of-the-limo view,’ ” our source says. Another jolting scene shows a grossly obese man chewing on a baby.

How much of these moviegoers will end up seeing is anybody’s guess. “Some cuts definitely will have to be made. There’s no question,” conceded one studio insider. A Dimension rep declined comment…

I don’t know how I, who just so publicly gave up on “24” because of the way the series handled the subject of torture, can justify going to see it, but I plan to find a way. There’s something about seeing a scantily clad Rose McGowan (that home-wrecker) with a machine gun for a leg that I find impossible to resist… Seriously, one wonders what the limits are. Is anything acceptable if it’s done with a knowing hipster wink?

(And, in my defense, there are much more sickening things I could be watching.)

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  1. ol' e cross
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    I’m going to see it, but I think I’ll wait for the unrated “director’s cut” DVD.
    ; )

  2. robr
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    This is funny– Due to my wife’s “connections” I have a copy of the DVD promo, the so called ” Electronic Press Kit” put out by Dimension Films… Appears to be in the same vein as “Sin City” or to put it another way: Cool! Quentin and Roberto know how to “touch” the inner teen beast of the American male…

  3. robr
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    …. Not to say that either one is gonna touch me…. ;)

  4. Dave
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    Damn you, you have taken the steam out of the Grindhouse post I had planned for later today or tomorrow. Oh well, I’ll just say you copied me.

    Anyway, I’ve wondered exactly why I find trash cinema so much fun yet completely abhor violence in every way in real life and the answer is context. If the violence is absurdly over the top and/or laughably fake and/or involves things that don’t exist (monsters, killer androids, etc.) then I am entertained. On the other hand, I have unfortunately been “treated” to some really sick Japanese movies where people are tortured in the course of the movie, and I do not enjoy those in the slightest bit.

    But zombie heads exploding? More please!

  5. cleo love-paste
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 3:20 pm | Permalink

    The idea of Shane MacGowan with a machine gun for a leg would get me to the cinema too.

    It’s probably just a matter of time. The limbs have to be going soon.

  6. mark
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 9:58 pm | Permalink

    And if you want to see something really, really scary, check this out.

  7. mark
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 10:00 pm | Permalink

    And I wish I had your wife’s connections, Rob. All my wife’s connections have gotten me lately is pink eye.

  8. mark
    Posted April 4, 2007 at 10:04 pm | Permalink

    And I don’t know if I’m going to see it on Friday night, when it opens. I might be going to see Patrick Elkins and the Lord of Yum-Yum at the Elbow Room instead.

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