unicorn-a-rific

When I suggested, prior to the election, that it might be possible for the Democrats to take both houses of Congress, a reader by the name of french-fries commented that I might as well believe in unicorns. Well, as it turned out, the people of the U.S. did decide to take back their country last week, but french-fries’ point, that we shouldn’t be too optimistic, is still very much valid. And, as I think that I’ve been a bit too “Yay, we can do this!” these past few days I thought that I’d share his/her most recent comment, which I happen to agree with:

The unicorn was really hungry.

I couldn’t be happier that the democrats took back congress. And it is I who harbors thoughts of unicorns and a world where reason and compassion trump obsolete medieval religious beliefs.

Out back, the unicorn frolics happily along the banks of the Huron river–joyfully yucking it up with the squirrels and groundhogs. On the other side of the fence, however, is a world where the democrats have a 51-49 majority that will present no defense to Bush’s veto. And he will learn to love the veto.

Far from the unicorn’s stomping ground, there are still mega churches filled with truly frightening people who will stop at nothing to regulate other people’s lives. We thought we were fighting the 19th century in the middle east, but I’ve seen the 19th century, and it is us.

I would love to believe we have made significant progress in this election, but I think that if the Iraq war was any less of a catastrophe, we would have had our asses kicked.

I fear that we are the slightly geeky kid who tried for months to ask a cute girl to the dance, and now that she’s said yes, we’re going to freak her out with all our talk of compilers and kernels and perl scripts and black holes. She’s going to see us for who we really are, and she’s going to find a football player.

Over night the congress changed, but I’m not sure the country has changed enough for the progress to be sustained.

Even though I agree with this to some extent, I’d still describe myself as being “cautiously optimistic.” What would be the use of going on if I weren’t? As a truly great American band once said, “Without hope, life is meaningless.”

This entry was posted in Observations. Bookmark the permalink. Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.

11 Comments

  1. Ken
    Posted November 12, 2006 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

    Quick gadfly question: are those unicorn “doing it”?

  2. mark
    Posted November 12, 2006 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    Yes.

    “Unicorn fucking” is the new “strangulation by feet,” which was the new “ball shaving.” I meant to send a memo, but I’ve been busy fielding calls from the international press.

    And, I should add, the photo is not only of two unicorns fucking, it’s of two gay unicorns fucking…. I’m having it tattooed across my chest.

  3. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted November 13, 2006 at 10:44 am | Permalink

    I wonder what a pair of shaved unicorn balls would fetch on Ebay?

  4. It's Skinner Again
    Posted November 13, 2006 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    I know someone who was selling unicorn turds on eBay, until they made him stop. He would have turned a profit, too; the bidding was active, and his ingredients were inexpensive.

  5. It's Skinner Again
    Posted November 13, 2006 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    I know someone who was selling unicorn turds on eBay, until they made him stop. He would have turned a profit, too; the bidding was active, and his ingredients were inexpensive.

  6. Ken
    Posted November 13, 2006 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

    Unicorn Turds
    that are “too hot for ebay”!

  7. Ted Glass
    Posted November 14, 2006 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    It’s been my experience that they cool considerably when lowered into ice water.

  8. It's Skinner Again
    Posted November 14, 2006 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    Ah yes, that’s my man Jason. I’m glad to see that he’s still providing merchandise for discerning shoppers.

    He can also be hired to appear as his cartoon creation, Caveman Robot, giving your soiree that certain je ne sais quoi.

  9. It's Skinner Again
    Posted November 14, 2006 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    Ah yes, that’s my man Jason. I’m glad to see that he’s still providing merchandise for discerning shoppers.

    He can also be hired to appear as his cartoon creation, Caveman Robot, giving your soiree that certain je ne sais quoi.

  10. ol' e cross
    Posted November 15, 2006 at 10:02 am | Permalink

    All unicorns were gay. That is why they went extinct.

    They were the progressives of genus equus.

  11. ol' e cross
    Posted November 15, 2006 at 10:02 am | Permalink

    All unicorns were gay. That is why they went extinct.

    They were the progressives of genus equus.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Connect

BUY LOCAL... or shop at Amazon through this link Banner Initiative Art Agitation brick throwing