belly dancing on michigan ave. and other things of interest

I left Ypsi for five days with my family. In that time, it appears as though the local political waters have gotten bloody and the site that was once the home to Henrietta Fahrenheit has become, of all things, a belly dancing studio. As I’m doing my best to remain objective on the mayoral race, given my role in planning the July 27 debate, I’m biting my tongue and not jumping into the fray with regard who may or may not have violated election law or turned a blind eye to ethics, but I can think of no reason to remain silent on the subject of belly dancing within the city limits. I will, in fact, be calling a press conference tomorrow morning and demanding a thorough investigation.

I don’t want to give too much away, but I predict that their July 14 grand opening harem party will not go smoothly… No, I do not think the good people of Ypsilanti will sit back and allow this kind of brazen immorality to take root. We, after all, know all too well how serious the ramifications can be if things like this go unchecked. (And, no, I do not believe those that claim God enjoys a good belly dance.)

Speaking of our local fundamentalist protestors (as I just was), I heard that there’s been a person in a gorilla suit attending our regularly scheduled Saturday morning anti-abortion protests on Michigan Ave (the ones where the people hold up the gross, giant photos of dismembered babies for kids and everyone else to see). From what I’ve been able to piece together, it sounds like the gorilla is leaning toward the pro-choice camp, but I’d like to see photographic evidence if it exists. Can someone help me out with that?

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  1. Dr Cherry
    Posted July 9, 2006 at 11:05 am | Permalink

    Mark, maybe you could open an ypsi gift shop with scale models of the water tower, metal castings of the Startweather Chapel, and smeetfrog hand-puppets. How about a fudge shope? Kilt store? You could sell mocissains and rubber hatchets.

    I think Ypsilanti is one Paul Bunyan statue away from being cool.

  2. mark
    Posted July 9, 2006 at 11:39 am | Permalink

    fudge shope / needle exchange

  3. Brian
    Posted July 9, 2006 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    I declare a fatwa on that gorilla!

  4. mark
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 12:48 am | Permalink

    I suspect that this gorilla is just the first of many that we’ll see here in Ypsi over the course of the next few years, as global warming speeds up. All the more reason to make an example of him/her.

  5. schutzman
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

    I feel that it was deceptive and unethical of you to unleash a smear campaign against belly dancing, and furthermore, I believe it might have been in clear violation of campaign finance law as it applies to exotic dancing.

    In addition, I should remind you that the Middle East has two distinctly contrary moral attitudes, one of which should be encouraged (involving music, hookahs, and belly dancing), with the alternative philosophy involving burqas and suicide bombers, and that by taking your stand on the side of the terrorists you have made it quite clear that you hate America.

  6. leighton
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    When Pierce is endorsed by Strippers-in-Training School of Dance Local 616, I will break my silence.

    I “blogged” (hic) about the gorilla suit girl (who is pregnant) with pics.

    Blurrily, the sign she carries is “Honk if you love Porn”

  7. Ted Glass
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 2:18 pm | Permalink

    You are THE MAN, Leighton, but I think you’re wrong about the belly dancing school being for strippers. Follow the links and check out the photos of current students. I don’t know how to put this other than to say that they’ve got ‘lots of belly’.

  8. leighton
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 3:01 pm | Permalink

    Overheard on Washington,
    “The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'”

    Or was that Zappa?

  9. Dr Cherry
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

    I think that was Flava Flav.

  10. mark
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 8:39 pm | Permalink

    I think the lads in Spinal Tap were more eloquent on the subject…

    The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’
    That’s what I said
    The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
    Or so I have read

    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

    I met her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day
    You know what I mean
    I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
    You know what I mean

    My love gun’s loaded and she’s in my sights
    Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ’em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

    – “Big Bottom” by Spinal Tap

  11. mark
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 11:12 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for the link to the gorilla photo, Leighton. I just put a link to it on the front page. Hopefully, the massive wave of click-throughs you’re about to experience won’t crash your system.

  12. leighton
    Posted July 10, 2006 at 11:37 pm | Permalink

    Pansy Division did a gay version of that Tap song. If we could get the belly dancers to practice to it…

  13. Mrsskull
    Posted September 27, 2014 at 2:13 am | Permalink

    Christians? Lol. You are a disgrace to your god (- and everyone elses for that matter….)

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