dick cheney, the most cocks sucked in an hour, and my high school reunion

Do you want to see the kids I went to high school with 20 years ago in New Jersey? I’m flipping through their old photos and current bios right now, as I sit here watching the new “Frontline” on Dick “the dark one” Cheney. The combination of hideous mid-80’s fashion and the prolonged exposure to our Vile President has me feeling like I want to go crawl into a dark hole and start pulling armfuls of dirt in over me… And, it doesn’t help that I just leaned (via my webstats program) that this site is the second thing to come up when searching “the most cocks sucked in an hour”, and the fourth thing returned when searching for “nude photos of actor Steve Guttenberg”…. No, even if I wanted to, there’s no way I could face my fellow graduates of Newton High at the upcoming reunion.

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12 Comments

  1. Ted Glass
    Posted June 21, 2006 at 10:49 am | Permalink

    Am I the only one who’s now curious as to who holds the record for “most cocks sucked in an hour”?

  2. Dr Cherry
    Posted June 21, 2006 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    http://www.newtonclassof86.myevent.com/clients/28108/462744_sta.jpg

  3. Collin
    Posted June 21, 2006 at 3:53 pm | Permalink

    I’m curious now too. Don’t hoard your knowledge Mark. You can keep the photo of Steve to yourself though.

  4. Anonymatt
    Posted June 21, 2006 at 7:19 pm | Permalink

    Well, if I had publically posted a link to my HS class’s website for a bunch of strangers to peruse, and then mentioned that looking through the bios and pictures of my classmates caused me to want to bury myself in a hole, then I too wouldn’t be able to face them at the reunion.

    But the rest of the classmates who remember Mark probably would think such behavior is par for the course.

    I’m just kidding, I bet you were probably more disturbed by the Cheney Frontline, which I haven’t watched yet.

    You need to stop checking that webstat program if it’s going to disturb you so much. Your ability to fixate on unusual turns of phrase has led you to constantly bring up the subject of ball shaving for several years now.

    Oh, and this was your horoscope at the Onion this week:

    Aquarius January 20 – February 18
    To no avail, you will once again pray exactly 223 times for God to heal you of your lifelong obsessive-compulsive disorder.

  5. E. G. N-B
    Posted June 22, 2006 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    I believe Newton NJ was in the news a few years ago when the Democratic candidate for state senate was urged to drop out of the race by his own party because he had previously participated in (and won) a “prettiest penis” photo contest.

    In the end he apparently did very well, earning 33% of the vote in a heavily Republican district against a long-time incumbent.

  6. Anonymatt
    Posted June 22, 2006 at 9:09 pm | Permalink

    I haven’t heard that story, but Newton and Sussex County are heavily Republican.

    I hope the coincidence of Mark’s horoscope hasn’t frightened him into silence.

    I thought mine was funny:

    Libra September 23 – October 23

    The stars take great offense at your offhand dismissal of their predictions as “a whole lot of hot air,” since they are by definition large celestial bodies composed of masses of gas in which the energy generated by internal nuclear reactions is balanced by the release of heat.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/49606

  7. mark
    Posted June 23, 2006 at 1:42 pm | Permalink

    I think it’s just a trick to make me search for the “prettiest penis photo contest.” (You almost got me.)

    And I did like the horoscope, Matt. Thanks.

  8. chris
    Posted June 23, 2006 at 10:45 pm | Permalink

    Jaysus!!!!! Mark! Omagaw! You have changed-Hell, and I have never even met you. Are you going? That hair! Did you attend church then? It looks like you have gained some weight.

  9. mark
    Posted June 25, 2006 at 11:18 am | Permalink

    That was a young male model that my parents had hired to sit in for me at public events, photo shoots, and things like that. I heard that he died years ago. Something about Syphilis.

  10. mark
    Posted June 25, 2006 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

    The irony is that the nude picture I have of Steve Guttenberg was actually snapped at the breaking of the “most cocks sucked in an hour” record – which took place in a catering truck on the set of Police Academy III.

  11. Gonzales
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    If there were a competition for the best blog post title, I would nominate this one.

  12. Hauk
    Posted September 7, 2011 at 7:58 am | Permalink

    What is the most number of cocks sucked (to completion) in an hour? I need to know this information.

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