i don’t want to be a target of ypsi clean-up day

Fearful that my lawn-o-vermin might be a target of this Saturday’s Ypsi Pride Day clean-up, I dragged my ass outside this evening and started hacking away at the saplings, weeds and native plants that had started taking over the yard these past few weeks. (I had this thought last night, as I lay in bed, that some motivated local bloggers might get it into their heads to start cruising around town scouting out “problem locations” like our old friends like our old friends Steve and Hillary used to do.) Anyway, while mowing, it occurred to me that it might be interesting to leave just a little patch of native vermin praerie. I wonder what the city would say to a 1′ x 1′ piece of ground dense with foot-long weeds. Would the city feel compelled to come onto my property to remove it? And, if so, what would they charge me for having done it? What if it was just a 1″ x 1″ plot, but really unruly? At first I was thinking that I’d protest the recent actions of the lawn cops by doing something really big, and ugly (like a Devil’s Tower made from dog shit), but now I’m thinking that perhaps something more subtle is called for, like the cultivation of one really, really long weed.

(note: The radio station that I’m listening to is playing the new Neil Young record. It’s making me happy.)

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10 Comments

  1. Dr Cherry
    Posted May 16, 2006 at 10:57 pm | Permalink

    When I lived on the East side of Lansing my junkie skateboarder neighbor used to have a little patch of long grass in his backyard. He would communicate to the creatures in his yard that they could find refuge in the small patch of tall grass which he didn’t touch.

    I suppose this made it easier for him to cut the grass knowing the little critters had somewhere to go.

  2. mark
    Posted May 16, 2006 at 11:13 pm | Permalink

    Junkie skateboarding neighbors? No, I wouldn’t know what that’s like.

  3. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted May 17, 2006 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    If you do grow that little 1″ by 1″ patch, let me know. I’ve got a new product from Phillips Electronics that I think would be perfect for whipping it into shape.

  4. It's Skinner Again
    Posted May 17, 2006 at 12:32 pm | Permalink

    For more ideas, see http://www.circlemakers.org.

  5. Ted Glass
    Posted May 17, 2006 at 12:46 pm | Permalink

    I like the idea of your having a “yard taint” that we readers could volunteer to come over and shave down.

  6. BrianR
    Posted May 17, 2006 at 5:10 pm | Permalink

    Been there. Done that. And with nothing to show for it.

    Pic #1
    Pic #2
    Pic #3
    Pic #4
    Pic #5
    Pic #6
    Pic #7

    I must make the disclaimer that some of these pictures were taken over a year apart. I guess that suggests that not much changes.

    If want to make a site to capture this kind of stuff, I’m game. I have to admit that I really like the name “Super Team Action Force,” but that’s open for discussion.

  7. mark
    Posted May 17, 2006 at 9:51 pm | Permalink

    I don’t like the idea of turning my neighbors in for code violations… but I’d be happy to go through other neighborhoods with my camera.

    And to those threatening to attack my yard with ball-shavers, I say, “Bring ’em on!” (Imagine me looking macho in my military flight suit as I say that.)

  8. mark
    Posted May 17, 2006 at 9:53 pm | Permalink

    And, Doug, would you happen to know if there’s a record for the smallest observed crop circle? I’m thinking it might be fun to make a really tiny one.

  9. It's Skinner Again
    Posted May 17, 2006 at 10:51 pm | Permalink

    I’ve heard you can make a tiny one by putting a piece of turf in a microwave. I’ve never tried, though.

    What about a lot of little ones? Old school circlemakers tend to look down on “grapeshot,” but it might be the right touch here.

    This could also be your chance to make that Maynard Bible Garden, with dioramas of gaudily painted poured concrete. Make Ypsi proud!

  10. mark
    Posted May 18, 2006 at 12:22 am | Permalink

    Anyone willing to try out the “sod in the microwave” thing? I would, but I need to go to bed soon.

    And don’t tempt me to make a Bible Garden. I’ve spent many an hour with Howard Finster in Paradise Gardens, and I’m a whiz when it comes to stacking junk.

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