the holmes-cruise placenta: waste not, want not

If Tom Cruise isn’t going to eat the plecenta, I wouldn’t mind trying a piece.

I’d call a big press conference and gobble it right up. I can’t imagine a better way to spend my 15 minutes of fame.

Katie Holmes, after all, seems relatively clean.

What about a TV show where people just eat the placentas of famous people? Each one could be prepared by a guest chef. It would be bigger than American Idol. Either the same guy could eat a different placenta each week, or we could arrange for a panel of celebrity judges. Who wouldn’t want to see the cast of “M*A*S*H” reuniting to eat Britney Spears’ placenta? Fucking brilliant!

Back to the Cruise-Holmes placenta, I wonder if I’d have to wait 7 days before I could tell it how good it tasted. (It’s a Scientology thing. You wouldn’t understand.)

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  1. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted April 20, 2006 at 9:31 am | Permalink

    All the cooking should be done by the celebrity mother, and viewers should be able to vote in real-time as to what ingredients she’s able to use. (If they like a celebrity, they can vote for salt, or something like that, and, if they don’t like the celebrity, they can add something like eels.) Then, at the end of the show, the mother has to serve it to the panel of celebrity judges. If they do well, a small children’s hospital somewhere in the world is built in their name.

  2. Brian
    Posted April 20, 2006 at 9:32 am | Permalink

    I may not understand…but Lord Xenu does!

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