maybe it’s time to nail the coffin shut and have a wake?

I think the whole zombie meme might have jumped the shark this weekend. First, my friend Dave forwards an article from the New York Times Style section announcing the arrival of zombie culture, and then, a few minutes later, I get an email from a reader named Mitja, telling me that half-a-dozen young people dressed as zombies had been murdered in Seattle. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m thinking that maybe it’s time to move on.

When we had our zombie event here in Ann Arbor at Christmas, it occurred to me (being the incredibly superstitious and fearful fool that I am) that by dressing up as the undead, we were inviting something terrible to happen. While I knew that it was silly, I kept having these intrusive, obsessive thoughts about me or someone else in our little zombie mob being murdered, or dying in a car crash while wearing our cadaver makeup and our blood-spattered Santa suits. I thought, in a way, that we were asking for it, tempting fate. By saying this, I’m not in any way suggesting that the people in Seattle deserved what happened to them, just that it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Tell you what… Next time, we get the urge to go out and do something stupid, instead of putting on the zombie makeup, let’s dress up in robes and pretend to be some kind of really super-happy religious sect or something. (How about a cult picnic this summer is Ypsilanti’s Riverside Park?) Enough with the apocalyptic thinking and the silly little attempts to gain some small degree of control over death by mocking it. I hereby propose, in front of you, my witnesses, that it’s time to move to the next stage of grieving, whatever that is.

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  1. Hillary
    Posted March 27, 2006 at 11:49 am | Permalink

    I expected something awful to happen in Detroit, but Seattle?

    You could host a historical reinactment.

  2. Dave
    Posted March 27, 2006 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

    Can zombies really be murdered?

  3. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted March 27, 2006 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    If I am not mistaken, the zombie stage of grief is followed by the robot stage.

  4. Anonymous
    Posted March 27, 2006 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

    There’s always href=””>Mondo Croquet.

  5. Anonymous
    Posted March 27, 2006 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    Is it too much to ask to have links on? Or converted automatically? Or how about post preview?

    Throw me a bone.

  6. mark
    Posted March 27, 2006 at 9:31 pm | Permalink

    If you thought that this was a “free bone” site, you were sadly mistaken, Mr. Taint. If you want a bone, you have to throw it yourself.

    And the more I think about the idea of a cult picnic, the more it appeals to me. (If what you’re saying about the robot stage of grief coming after zombie stage is true, however, I’d be happy to incorporate robots into the cult picnic. They can serve food. We’ll make Riverside Park a heaven on Earth for an afternoon… I can picture the robots peeling grapes!)

  7. kez
    Posted March 28, 2006 at 12:43 am | Permalink

    andy warhol as a zombie: august 18, 1985

    warhol was made up as a zombie by horror-effects artist tom savini.

  8. BrianB
    Posted March 28, 2006 at 7:58 am | Permalink

    Count me in on the cult picnic. I’ll bring the kool-aid.

  9. Collin
    Posted March 28, 2006 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    I believe next you are supposed to take the skinheads bowling.

  10. Brian
    Posted March 28, 2006 at 4:15 pm | Permalink

    Some Ypsi kids sent me a message about wanting to have a Zombie party.

    I’m worried that the zombie trend will be as bad as that Warriors remake.

  11. mark
    Posted March 28, 2006 at 6:25 pm | Permalink

    Some White Power-types gave me and a Jewish friend a hard time once at a bowling alley. (After calling us gay for a while they said to my friend, “You look like a Jew. We’ll call you Millhouse.”) I don’t relish the idea of going through that again.

  12. Otto Walkes
    Posted March 28, 2006 at 9:13 pm | Permalink

    Zombie, Peeps, … es leben die kleinen untoten Suessigkeiten! So niedlich, und lecker, und noch nicht tot!

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