how my friend brett cured me of my mary todd lincoln fetish with one click of the shutter

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  1. mark
    Posted March 16, 2006 at 12:33 am | Permalink

    I will get even… I just don’t know what form my justice will take… Perhaps a life-size photo of Elizabeth Montgomery with my ass.

  2. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted March 16, 2006 at 1:10 pm | Permalink

    And, like that, the Mary Todd Lincoln fetish was replaced by a fetish for men sticking their faces through drawings of historical figures.

  3. schutzman
    Posted March 16, 2006 at 1:11 pm | Permalink

    I think I just added more depth and breadth to your fetish, really.

    I realize that the post was basically just a boring, run-of-the-mill, “where in the world is brett schutzman”, of the sort that other local bloggers have been known to make when they’re at a loss for words, but you could have at least provided a link back to it.

    And, incidentally, I’ve been meaning to write a follow-up and explain why, exactly, I had my head stuck in Mary Todd Lincoln, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Suffice it to say that Fort Wayne, Indiana, has an Abraham Lincoln museum, and this is a part of the exhibit about his family life. The reason my head isn’t completely in the hole, by the way, is that they have a padded bumper around the opening, i guess to keep people from scratching themselves or something, but it means that the illusion is never even close to perfect.

  4. schutzman
    Posted March 16, 2006 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    …and, I should add, that the most surprising part of the visit was when I realized how much Mary Todd and Abraham actually resembled eachother.

  5. be OH be
    Posted March 16, 2006 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

    ewww, you put your face on that germ ridden padded bumper? Even my non-OCD stomach is turning.

  6. schutzman
    Posted March 16, 2006 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

    the museum had a little piece of blood-stained cloth from lincoln’s deathbed, so i used that to wipe the bumper down first before i put my face against it.

  7. mark
    Posted March 16, 2006 at 5:50 pm | Permalink

    I too would think twice before sticking any part of my body completely into Mary Todd Lincoln.

  8. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted March 17, 2006 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    I’m told that it’s this very image that turned Lincoln gay.

  9. Hillary
    Posted March 17, 2006 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    If you do, Mark, be sure to preserve all historical queefs.

  10. chris
    Posted March 18, 2006 at 11:45 pm | Permalink

    Sometimes in order to get my 7 yo son to do something I tell him that if he doesn’t do it I am going to go crazy. Well after about three years he has become inured to this threat. He has recently acquired an obsession w/ presidential histories ?!?!?

    So last time I said I was going to go crazy when he didn’t do something and he did not respond I added, “and I mean Mary Todd Lincoln crazy”. Man, did he come a runnin’!

    So how crazy was she?

  11. mark
    Posted March 19, 2006 at 8:52 pm | Permalink

    According to the Lincoln Museum, she wasn’t really crazy (except in the eyes of her son and the court):

    She was not

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