zombies in detroit

By Mark | February 4, 2006

Well, it looks as though the Stupor Bowl zombie attack happened last night as planned. The good news is, I don’t see any evidence of zombie shootings, or reports of zombie bodies floating in the Detroit River. A few sites say they’ll post pictures later today, but, so far, the only photos I’ve seen have been at the Flickr page of cfsantos. (That’s where I got the attached image.) I was having trouble with it for a while, but you can also access a short newsreel documenting the attack through the website of The Detroit News… Congratulations to all my undead friends on pulling off a very ambitious assault on the Superbowl.

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4 Comments

DetroitWonk

Posted February 4, 2006 at 11:39 am | Permalink

Mark, the Detroit News movie works:

mms://wm.gannett.speedera.net/wm.gannett/detnews/2006/060203_zombies.wmv
mark

Posted February 4, 2006 at 8:42 pm | Permalink

Here’s the official wrap-up:

Final Report! – Stupor Bowl Zombie Walk

Total Zombie Success!

More than 100 zombies took to the streets last night in an undead rampage, ripping through the Homeland Insecurity befuddled defenses to tear asunder the willing flesh of the living!!!

Setting: As the Zombies approached the downtwon Detroit kill zone, the clouds lowered ominously, and the huge array of building lights, searchlights, and projectors fired up for the event instead lent an eerie, impossibly Hollywood creepshow effect to the streets. Imagine the sky lit up in swirling, flashing bursts of color as a shambling horde shuffled and scraped down side streets, edging toward their feast of brains…
The Zombies burst into the main thoroughfare, moaning and howling as they cut their way through the unsuspecting football fans (zombies all!) – screams of “Zzombies! They’re coming!” were cut short by blood-curdling screams of surprise and dismay and “Uh, what are you guys doing?”

Favorite moment #17: A concerned woman placed her hand on a bloodied zombie woman’s shoulder asking “Are you okay?” Then she saw the zombie behind the first zombie, and the one behind that. She pulled her hand back.

Best Line Overheard: “Dude, there’s a zombie behind you!” “I know, it’s my wife.”

2nd best: “Oh, I guess the Pittsburgh people are here now.”

Most time-consuming Zombie Activity: 38% of time on street – posing for photos, a la “Oh, can I take a picture of you attacking my boyfriend? We’re from Seattle!”

Best escort: At one point, reporters and photogs from the Detroit News, Free Press, Metro Times, etc. were all circling the Zombie Horde, snatching at moments of brilliance like devastatingly hungry undead vultures.
Singular Zombie Defeat: Most people under 17 or so were a little set back by the appearance of a wall-to-wall mob of zombies filling their vision. Some zombies were seen comforting their victims (after removing their tasty, tiny brains, of course). However, that most powerful of last night’s Zombies, ‘Flop Around as if Half-Dead Very Realistic Contortionist Zombie’, was entirely done in by a 3 year-old. Sneaking up on this Sure Kill, Contortionist Zombie was confronted by an angry snarling face and tiny hands lifted in the Zombie Kill position! The crowd stood stunned! Contortionist Zombie moved on to easier prey…

Arrests: One photog travelling with the zombies got a shot of a cop taking a picture of a cop being eaten by zombies… Also, Hard-Ass Cop started to get upset about the zombies, but couldn’t figure out what his options were. He settled for ‘Scowling with hands on hips’.

Spy Report: As the first zombies entered the Winter Blast zone and screams began to echo across the city, a non-descript man in worker’s coveralls was detected pulling a large radio out of his uniform. Sadly, his cover was blown, as Zombie Handler 42B was watching from inches away as he radioed in “This is 52, I have a situation here…” Due to Zombie Scheming, IT WAS TOO LATE.

Weather: perfect.

Parking: mixed.

Injuries: One zombie reported that clutching a nerf football in her wretched claw of a hand had left that hand ‘crippled’.

If you want to be included in future events, and especially if you invited people who didn’t get this evite, make sure to send email to kilted@mail.com. All this gets you is on the list of folks who like to have fun – no junk mail.
mark

Posted February 4, 2006 at 9:26 pm | Permalink

And thanks for the direct link, Wonk.
cfsantos

Posted February 6, 2006 at 12:33 am | Permalink

Hey! Great times great great times to be had by all. PS that’s my friend Nick up there!